


Precipitation & Other Reasons to get Naked

by shineebigbang



Category: SHINee
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 60,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shineebigbang/pseuds/shineebigbang
Summary: Taemin’s single & so is JinkiIf they let it, this could get kinkyInstead they eat steak & then they shopAnd late into the night they talk, talk, talkIt isn’t long before it’s clearThat they are growing very nearExcept a story that Jinki hidesLies plain before Taemin’s eyesTrust is strained and soon enoughThe tides they turn & then get roughAn option rises: walk awayInstead they each decide to stayThey’re in love & they’re also friendsThey laugh & tease while holding handsA simple story simply toldOne both new & very old





	1. Summer

Taemin reaches out into the dark and frowns when his hand only grabs at more sheet.  A muffled grunt of dissatisfaction tickles his throat as he continues his barely conscious trek, shuffling across the mattress.  The sudden loss of purchase, hand hanging over the edge of the bed, has him opening his eyes and sitting up, glancing furiously around the room in confusion, heart pounding.  His eyes land on a dresser and the empty space atop the unfamiliar piece of furniture where two framed pictures ought to be.   He squints into the darkness and it’s then that he remembers where he is and who is.

A new apartment.  Taemin, but not Jongin’s.

“Fucker,” he mutters with a wry smile, more to himself than to his missing ex-boyfriend as he shifts back to the middle of the bed.  It’s been over a month since they shared a bed, a different one than he’s in now, but a habit is hard to break, especially one as old as theirs.  Now in the center, he tucks a pillow under his head and splays out his legs, holding court alone on a bed built for two.

The next time he wakes up it’s to his sister’s voice hollering at him from somewhere past the living room, the front door thudding beneath a banging that is too loud and unnecessary.  If he thought for one moment feigning ignorance would make her go away he’d stay wrapped up in his soft sheet and the low hum of the air conditioner.  What he knows, though, is that ignorance leads to action and he has approximately two minutes to get to the door before she uses the key she’s undoubtedly stolen from Minho to break in.

And body slam him in his own bed.

Better to get up.

There’s a quick tussle with the sheet and then he’s slipping a pair of shorts over his hips as he makes his way out of the room.  Unlocking the door, he opens it to glare at the beaming smile on his sister’s face, highlighted by the rising sun.  Not even remotely a morning person, she’s been knocking at his door every morning since he began moving in three days ago.  He’s beginning to think that at this point she’s just enjoying seeing him disheveled and annoyed.

Fine.

“Augh!” Eunsook cries as he sweeps her up into a big hug, swinging her around twice before dropping her unceremoniously back onto the ground with a grin.  She’s still catching her balance when he reaches out and pokes her nose.  She bats his arm away with an amused frown before grabbing him up into an impossibly tight hug.   Taemin struggles to wiggle out, stilling only when she kisses his forehead and rubs his back.

“You okay?” she asks as she steps back, brushing her fingers through his hair, eyes falling back from the strands to his and he considers lying like every other time, knowing even then that she knew.

“Yes,” he lies, the same lie he always tells.  Eunsook only nods with a knowing smile and hugs him again quickly.

“Let me inside.”

The living room is sparse with bare walls, a few half-opened boxes, and a piano covered in sheet music.  A kitchen cupboard sits open and another box sits in the middle of the vinyl floor.  The bowl and spoon Taemin’s used for every meal since he’d first begun moving in sits on the counter waiting to be haphazardly washed and reused.

“Do you need help unpacking?” she asks as her gaze flits around the room.

“No.  It’s just basically clothes and books at this point.  The piano’s already set up and the furniture Gwiboon ordered arrived yesterday.”

“No dining table or sofa?”  Eunsook’s eyebrow is raised as she turns back to him, arms crossed.

“There’s a stool,” Taemin replies, pointing to it in confusion and frowning when Eunsook laughs.  “And I’m buying a futon later today.  And a table and some chairs.  Amber’s bringing a truck.”

“Why do you need a truck?”

“To pick it all up.”  She stares at him blankly and Taemin glances at the living room and decides that he wants the futon to face towards the bedroom, across the room from the piano.

“Why aren’t they delivering it?”

“Seller said no delivery.”  Eunsook’s eyes close and the fingers of one hand pinch the bridge of her nose.  Taemin takes the opportunity to head into the kitchen and pour himself a glass of water.  And set the bowl to soak.

“Where did you find this futon?”

“Craigslist.”  A deep breath blows through his sister’s nose as he sits on his little stool and sips his drink.

“You’re buying a futon off Craigslist?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you buying a futon off Craigslist?”

“Because I have no furniture.  And it’s cheap.”

“Let me buy you a futon.”  Taemin’s scoff leaves him with a splash of cold water on his chest and he’s still brushing at the droplets when he looks back up.

“I’m already getting one.”

“Please let me buy you one that hasn’t had...I don’t even want to think of the possibilities of what a futon mattress in this town has endured.”  A smirk pulls at Taemin’s lips.

“You’re so dirty,” he quips, the cup clicking beneath his tapping fingers.

“Just...let me buy you a new one.”

“It’s just a futon.”

Eunsook watches for a moment before nodding with a sigh, stepping forward and brushing at his hair again.

“A cover then.”

“Fine.”  She nods again and then glances toward the bedroom door.

“What did Gwiboon buy you?”

“A king size with a black wood headboard.  Matching dresser.  There was a brief struggle over whether a four poster frame was necessary but eventually she gave up and got me the one I wanted.”

“Why?  What did you say to her?”

“That if she got me the poster one I’d use it for bondage.”

“Why would that stop her?”  Taemin tilts his head with a sly grin.

“I also threatened to send her pictures.”

“You two.  I swear,” Eunsook mutters.  “Well, show me what our darling sister thinks the baby needs now that he’s adulting unsupervised.”

“Hey!”  With mock annoyance, Taemin stands up and bumps his shoulder against Eunsook’s before taking her hand and leading her down the hall.  He looks at the empty dresser while she presses her palm to the mattress and then flops down on her back, complimenting the softness of the new sheets.  He lays down beside her and they stare at the ceiling in silence until he grabs her hand and squeezes it, holding it a little longer before standing up and pulling her up with him.

“Alright, alright.  Get out of my apartment.  Go back home to your husband.”

“Rude,” Eunsook pouts as she begins leading them back up the hall.

“You’re the one banging on doors at five on a Saturday morning,” Taemin points out.

“Just your door.”

“Thanks.”

“Welcome.”  She flashes him a grin as as she disappears from his doorway.

 

Jinki ducks Minho’s block just in time to make “S” in their game of HORSE.  His opponent groans, fists on his hips and eyes closed.

“You’re killing me, Jinki.”

“Pretty sure it’s the 90-degree heat, Minho.”  Minho chuckles and stands up, twisting his waist while Jinki begins bouncing the ball again.

“How are you not baking in that shirt?”  Jinki just shrugs.  He’s at half court when they hear Minho’s name being called from behind.  Minho puts up a hand and says, “Just a moment” as he walks past.  “Actually,” he adds, turning around, “Come with me.  There’s someone I want you to meet.”  The smile he flashes has Jinki curious and he tucks the ball beneath an arm as he follows behind.

A man is approaching the court with a smile that falters when he catches Jinki coming up to stand next to Minho.  Black hair brushes his cheeks and silver hoops sit in his earlobes, glinting in the sunlight.  A white tank top shows off a slim V-shape and gray shorts reveal thin, toned legs and Jinki’s finding it difficult to hear what Minho’s saying because he’s a little distracted by how pretty the guy’s dark eyes are.

“Jinki, this is Taemin, Eunsook’s brother.  He’s moving in this weekend, just down the hall.”

“Oh.  Hey.”  He reaches out a hand on instinct, confused when Taemin only stares at him.  Suddenly, Taemin shakes his head and smiles again, reaching out and softly replying, “Hi.”

“I’d offer to help,” Jinki says, not realizing that he hasn’t let go, “but I’m meeting Taeyeon and the squirt later today.  Let me know if you still need help tomorrow, OK?”

“Sure,” Taemin agrees, not letting go himself.  “Thanks.”  They’re still smiling, still holding hands and it’s not until Minho loudly clears his throat that they simultaneously let go.  Jinki chuckles self-consciously and bites his lip, tries to think of something to say.  Too many thoughts begin whirling through his head and he can’t catch his breath long enough to give voice to any of them.

“Um,” Taemin starts, “Who’s Taeyeon?”

“Oh,” Jinki replies with a laugh.  “A friend of mine.  Mother of my godson.”

“Oh.  Nice.”  The conversation stilts again and Jinki racks his brain to come up with anything else.

“Did you see the rugby game last week?” he asks, hoping that Taemin holds the same interest in sports as Minho.  It’s a mistake because Minho’s the one whose eyes widen, nearly smacking Taemin in the face with the hand he’s now waving in the air.  Jinki’s caught in the conversation, glancing over at Taemin and finding only a blank face.  Just as he’s about to ask if there are any other sports he likes, Taemin’s telling Minho he has to go, that someone named Amber is waiting for him.

“I’ll walk you over,” Minho says, putting his hand at the small of Taemin’s back.  Taemin glances at him before giving Jinki another smile that makes his chest warm.

“Good to meet you, Jinki.”

“Same.  I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.  See you.”  He watches the two walk away, disappearing through the breezeway leading to the parking lot.  He bounces the ball twice before tossing it through the net.  Taemin, he thinks.  A nice name.

 

“Taemin’s got a crush,” Minho says with a smile as he kicks off his shoes.  Eunsook looks at him upside down from where she lies on the sofa, hair pouring over the arm rest.

“Really?  Who?”

“Remember Jinki?”  Eunsook closes her book and squints at the ceiling while Minho goes to get a drink from the fridge.

“The hot dude with the bad jokes?  The shirt to your skin?”

“Hey!”  Indignation laces his tone and he’s watching her incredulously from where he stands in the kitchen.  Eunsook rolls her eyes and sits up, legs crossing beneath a pillow she clutches to her chest.

“Oh please.  You’re the one who insists on playing basketball in the hot sun without a shirt on.  I need to know who my husband is running around with.”  Minho scoffs and puts his empty bottle in the sink.  The sofa dips beneath his added weight and he takes the foot Eunsook offers him, massaging the instep as she lies back down.

“Fine, fine.  Yes, the hot dude with the bad jokes.  Taemin came by while we were playing ball and he was staring at Jinki like he was lunch.”

“Oh, the steak stare.”

“Yes!  That’s it exactly.”

“We should set them up.”  Minho’s fingers still and Eunsook shakes her foot at him in protest.

“Sook...”

“No date dates.  Just...get them talking.  Maybe invite Jinki over for dinner.”

“That counts as a date date and I think we should let it alone.  Just let Taemin take his time.  If he wants to get to know him he’ll find a way.”

“Fine.  But I reserve the right to interfere if they haven’t at least talked by August.”

“Since there’s nothing I can do to stop you I will agree to your terms.  And thank you for being so patient.”  Eunsook stretches out a palm that Minho leans over to slap.

“I just want him to be happy.”

“I know.  How are you and the symbiont doing today?”

“Fine.  Tired.  Glad that our sire and his sexy fingers have returned.”  Minho chuckles as he switches feet.  “What say you, sire?  What delicacies shall be bestowed upon our returning hero in favor of his gentility and all around goodness?”

“Whatever the symbiont and its host feel would be adequate compensation.  Or we could go out for burgers.”

“Oh!” Eunsook exclaims, sitting up, foot slipping out of Minho’s grasp.  “We should go to the steak house up on 82nd!”

“…OK.”

“I’ve been meaning to get Taemin a gift certificate,” she explains over her shoulder.

“Are you sure that’s where you want to go for lunch, though?” Minho asks, following her toward the door.  “We could just stop in and grab the certificate and go somewhere else.”

“Nope,” Eunsook replies, already stepping into her sandals, “my man deserves meat.  Let’s go!”

 

Amber and Taemin sit on Taemin’s new futon, a box of pizza half-eaten between them and mismatched bottles of iced tea by their feet.  The table and chairs were set up in a corner by the kitchen and are now covered with all the boxes that were previously scattered across the floor.

“I can’t believe you stayed with him in that tiny apartment for another three months,” Amber mutters as she takes a bite.

“Well, we had a lease.”

“And one of you couldn’t just move out?”  Taemin reaches out and takes another slice, tossing his crust to Amber’s side of the box.

“Then the other would have had the full rent and utilities.  It’s not like we hated each other, we just didn’t want to be together anymore.”

“So, who slept on the couch?”  Taemin frowns as he takes a sip of his tea.

“Slept on the couch?”

“Yeah.”

“Neither of us,” he replies in confusion.  “Why would we sleep on the couch?”

“So, where did you sleep?”

“In our bed.”

“Both of you?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you just…”  She shifts so that she’s facing him and he turns to look at her, still confused.

“What?”

“How did you…”

“What?”

“I mean it’s so not my business but how did you two...”  Amber’s hands begin to swirl in the air, sort of like Minho when he’s playing basketball, Taemin thinks, but her expression doesn’t quite match.

“No idea at all what you’re asking me.”  Amber stares at him before blowing a raspberry in exasperation.

“Sex, Taemin.  How did you two do sex?”

“Like...doggy style...missionary...what are you asking me?”  Her eyes widen and he stifles a grin as both her hands come up to cover her face.

“Oh, my god.  Never mind I...so many regrets right now.”  Taemin chuckles ruefully and shifts so that his head rests against the back of the futon.

“We just...stopped.”  There’s a pause and then Amber’s hand is patting him on the knee.

“Hey, sorry.  Shouldn’t have asked.”

“We’re friends,” he replies. “We’ve always been friends.  And that part of our relationship was over but we had a lease and were kind of stuck.  He paid his rent for May and then moved out and I basically had the apartment to myself for the rest of the month.  So really, we only stayed together another two and a half months.  And that last month was mostly him looking for a new place and making sure I would be okay when he was gone.”  Amber laughs.

“Of course he did.”

“Yeah.”  Her hand disappears and he listens to the rustle of the box between them.

“Your new place is nice.”  Taemin chuckles at the lame turn of conversation, turning to look over at his friend.

“Thanks.”

“How is it living with Eunsook so close?”

“She’s pounded on my door every morning since I started moving in.”

“Ha!”

“I picked her up this morning so I think she’ll stop now.”

“I’m sure she just wants to make sure you’re OK.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”  Taemin’s eyes narrow as Amber watches passively.  A hand reaches out and covers his.  “You will be, though.”  The fingers disappear and he watches a few seconds longer before turning away, a soft “yeah” muttered under his breath.

 

Drew giggles as his dad puts him in the swing he’s finally big enough to ride and Kibum shouts out encouragement with every push.  Jinki and Taeyeon sit in the shade of a tree on a park bench with bits of their lunch spread haphazardly between them.

“So, what’s new with you?” Taeyeon asks calmly, half a sandwich held between her fingers.

“Met a new neighbor today.”

“Really?”

“You remember Minho?”

“I remember the name.  The guy you play basketball with, right?  Skins to your shirts because heat stroke is something you’re intent on experiencing?”  Jinki scoffs and grabs at the bottle of water in front of him, wiping the condensation off against his neck.

“Yeah, him.  His brother-in-law is moving in this weekend.”

“Ah.”  Jinki takes a long sip, nearly choking when Taeyeon suddenly shoves him.  “Oh, my gosh you have a crush!”

“Tae!”

“How hot is he?”

“I met him one time!  For maybe three minutes!  And we barely spoke, he just kept staring.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because…”  Jinki takes another sip so that he doesn’t have to answer.

“Mm-hmmm.”

“Shut up.”

“What does he look like?”  Jinki leans back, watching as Kibum leads Drew over to the slide.

“Thin, dark eyes, hair a little shorter than mine.”

“Tall?  Short?”

“My height.”

“What else?”

“Weird lips.”

“What?”

“They look like a piece was ripped out of the top.  Right here,” he says, tapping at Taeyeon’s mouth making her laugh.

“Interesting.”

“And a mole at the side of his nose.”

“Piercings?  Tattoos?”

“No tattoos that I could see.  Five piercings.”

“That’s a lot of detail for only three minutes.”  Jinki grunts in response and takes another drink.  “OK the important part: what does his voice sound like?”

“Low and warm.  Like velvet.”

“You should ask him out.”

“Maybe,” Jinki shrugs.  “I don’t even know if he’s into guys.”

“I’ll come down there and ask him out for you.”

“Tae.”

“Fine, fine,” Taeyeon says with a chuckle, turning back to the sound of her son shrieking on this third ride down the slide.  “When does school let out?”

“This is the last week.”

“Did you call Jonghyun?”

“Yeah.  I told him that fire season meant hire me season.”

“What did he say?”

“That it was fine since all the hot guys were graduating anyway.”

“You two have the weirdest foreplay.”

“It’s not like that,” he chuckles, “not this year.  This year he has a beau.”

“A boat?”

“A boyfriend.  Someone he doesn’t want to fuck over by fucking me.”

“Ah.  Does the boyfriend know that his ex and sometimes is going to be working with him?”

“Yes, he does,” Jinki answers confidently.  “I don’t even have to ask to know that Jonghyun wouldn’t keep that a secret.”

“So, you’re free and single this summer.  Wow.”

“Yep,” Jinki replies, taking a sip of his water.

“Too bad there aren’t any cute guys at your complex.  That would be so convenient.  Especially if they were friends with someone you already know, someone who could give you their number.”

“Tae.”

“Jinki.”

“I’m going to go play with my godson.”

“Fine.  Abandon me.”  He stands up and kisses her on the forehead as he starts to leave.

“You’re my favorite Taeyeon.”

“And you’re my favorite Jinki.”  He’s halfway to the slide when he hears her call out “Taemin could be your favorite too!”  Jinki rolls his eyes and crouches at the bottom of the slide, clapping his hands and catching his godson who squeals in delight when he’s swung into the air.  He slaps Jinki’s hand and points to the monkey bars, waving to his dad as he leaves them to play.

~

It’s the audible panting that wakes Taemin up, the sound of someone else’s breath coming in ragged bursts.  Habit has him believing it to be Jongin and he flails out an arm to shove his boyfriend and make him stop...whatever.  An empty bed is the landing strip for his sailing fingers and the dull thud of his arm against the mattress has the hold of sleep over his thoughts fading.  Against his will, his eyes open and he finds himself in bed, alone.

A few heavy blinks have him waking further and a slow roll to his side changes the breaths in his ear and it’s then that he realizes that they’re his own.

The room is stifling and stuffy and the air is too thick for his lungs to catch a breath.  When his empty hand moves to rub his sleepy face it’s met with a sheen of perspiration.  Another shift, this time of his legs and Taemin finds himself a sloppy, sweaty, naked mess with a sheet tangled around a single ankle.

Of course, he thinks, cursing as he stands, that’s what he had forgotten to do.  The air conditioner whirs to life beneath his fingers and he stands before it until the beads of sweat all over his body chill enough to cause his flesh to pucker.  The sheet from before is grabbed from the bed and he wraps himself in it before walking back out to the living room and collapsing onto the futon.

The fingers that fall to the carpet flick against something that crinkles and a groan escapes Taemin’s throat as he looks down to see what it is.  A little squared up bit of paper, folded over and over to take the shape of a sea turtle sits a few inches away.  Again, Taemin blinks and stares at the folds as he mulls over whether he wants to open something with Jongin’s handwriting or not.

He does.  But maybe he shouldn’t.

The sheet puddles around his waist as he sits up, the little turtle held between his fingers as he reads his name printed in Jongin’s script again and again.  The paper crinkles as he unfolds it and the words blur out of focus as he tries to read them.  Tears, he realizes, the paper dropped to his lap as the back of each hand burns against his eyes.  He shakes his head and takes a breath, chuckling at the absurdity of the reaction and rubbing his eyes again as the paper is once more snatched up.

A birthday wish, nothing more.  A simple declaration of friendship, love, and hope that Taemin’s year be great.  “Without me” is left unwritten.

Pieces of the party rattle around his head like pieces of a puzzle that belong to the same image but not to each other.  They had surprised him, the group.  Kazoos and confetti had him screaming and tossing his phone in the air, barely catching it before it hit the ground.  A bag was shoved over his head as they shuffled him to a car and stole him away from his new home.

The club was loud and they were louder, all on that cusp between too old to be drinking so heavily and too young to accept it and they fought every moment of uncertainty with drink.  Except Jongin.  Sober, as always, the responsible one to see everyone home.  Taemin licked his lips and took a shot, eyes closed so that he wouldn’t know if Jongin saw.  The more Taemin drank the less he felt the weight of his solitude and four shots in he had his back to a stranger, his arms wrapped around their neck and his eyes on Jongin, no longer caring if he knew.

The end of the evening found him with only Jongin and Jimin left.  They stood in the parking lot, Jimin mumbling words that Taemin only nodded at, accepting the hug that quickly grew heavy, laughing when it became clear that Jimin had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

“What should we do?”  Jongin had that soft smile, the gentle one, the one that Taemin had missed the most.

“Namjoon’s on his way.  Should be about five minutes.”

“OK.”  Taemin was still nodding as he patted Jimin’s back.  The body of his friend was warm and soft and he closed his eyes as he leaned in, rubbed his cheek against the other’s, and rested his head against Jimin’s shoulder.

It felt like only a second before he was flinching awake, startled at the sound of his name and the loss of warmth.

“What?”

“Happy birthday, Taem.”  Namjoon said with a smile as he stood back up, Jimin’s limp body now thrown over his shoulder.  A quick nod and a pat to Jongin’s shoulder and then they were disappearing into the dark.

Taemin blinked and looked around, trying to remember where he was or what Namjoon meant by “birthday”.  Suddenly a pair of feet in shoes that he had watched be purchased by a man he loved sat beneath his gaze and he watched them for a moment before slowly looking up.

That smile.  That damn smile.

“Time to go home, Taeminnie.”  With a flush of joy, Taemin smiled and threw his arms around Jongin’s neck.  The stubble at Jongin’s jaw tickled his lips and Taemin kissed his cheek twice more just to feel it again and again.  “Your home.”  The smile on his lips froze as he swayed, suddenly losing his balance and feeling acutely the rotation of the earth.

He tried to speak, tried to form words, tried to tell a story or a joke or make a biting remark or sing a song or scream.

Instead, silence carried them home.  Carried him home.  Jongin was a guest.

The apartment was dark and formless and Taemin made no effort to change that.  The lights stayed off and the click of the door shutting echoed against the quiet.  Without thinking, he turned around and reached out and brushed his fingers across Jongin’s cheeks, smiling when Jongin turned his head to kiss his wrist.

“Miss you,” he mumbled, watching Jongin’s face turn back to his.

“I know.  Me too.”  Familiar fingers brushed the hair away from his forehead and familiar lips kissed the exposed skin before laying him down on a now familiar bed.

Familiar footsteps faded away and the familiar sound of a door closing clicked in the stillness as Taemin fell asleep alone.

And now he’s woken up alone as well.

The sheet is abandoned as Taemin begins a search for his phone that abruptly ends when he finds it sat in its charger on the kitchen bar.  A dozen missed messages, most of them drunken ramblings, and a time stamp that tells him the party was over almost a full day ago.  Three in the morning.  The time it was when Jongin left him.  This time.

He sighs and scratches his stomach, glancing down and briefly wondering where his clothes are.  He slips on a pair of shorts as a growl emits from beneath his nails and he nods in agreement as he crosses the room into the kitchen.  He reaches up grabs a box of cereal off the top of his refrigerator.  The crunch of the cereal is loud in his ears in the empty apartment and he tries not to think too much about things that will keep him awake.  He tosses the bowl and spoon into the sink, running a bit of water over them both, and then wanders back to the futon, throwing himself down on the black cover his sister bought him, and falling back asleep.

When next Taemin wakes it’s with a grunt and a violent loss of breath, a sudden weight on his chest making it impossible to breathe.  Eyes burst open and he glances around frantically, trying to figure out what’s happened.

“Hey baby bro,” comes his sister’s voice from just below his ribs.  Eunsook lies across his stomach with her head resting in one hand, elbow digging into his side.  Minho sits on the stool at the bar.

“Traitor,” Taemin mutters, glaring at his brother-in-law.

“Should have been clearer about what ‘emergency’ entailed,” Minho replies with a shrug.

“Yes!”  Eunsook nods emphatically, tapping Taemin on the nose.  “Birthdays count.”  Taemin struggles to get his sister off, wriggling around and getting nowhere.  Defeated, he falls back and huffs, glaring at the ceiling.

“It’s not my birthday!”

“Will be.  Only twenty-seven hours left.”

“Come attack me then!”

“Surprise parties only work if they’re surprises, little bro.”

“Party?  How many of you are there?!”  Taemin’s eyes narrow as he glances between the two.

“Just me and Minho,” Eunsook replies nonchalantly, tucking her head beneath folded hands.  “We wanted to surprise you.  Besides, no one wants to stay up late on a Monday just to celebrate dad finally getting a son.”  Taemin scoffs.  “Even if you are my favorite brother.”

“I’m your only brother.”

“A testament to our parents’ conceptual wisdom.”

“They had five kids.”

“And only one boy.  Wisdom.”  Taemin rolls his eyes.

“At least you got named after an aunt.  I got named after a dog.”

“A dog he still mourns to this day.”

“A dog, Eunsook.  A dog.”

“Anyway,” Eunsook says pointedly, grabbing Taemin by the arm and pulling him upright, “we’re here to celebrate your ability to survive despite all the odds.”

“All four of you,” Minho snickers from his stool.

“We brought you a gift,” Eunsook continues as she glares at her husband.

“If you got me another fucking plastic insect...”  Eunsook laughs at the look on her brother’s face, the resigned face of a man who has been pranked on the anniversary of his birth every year since he was five.

“No.  Though there may or may not be three hidden throughout the apartment.  Good luck finding them.”

“So much hatred,” Taemin mutters while Eunsook tosses a small black gift bag that reads “Over The Hill” at his chest.  He glowers suspiciously, poking through the shredded confetti until his finger feels something soft.  Confused, he pulls out a small bundle.

“A shirt?” he asks, looking up at his sister.  “Really?”

“Just pull it out and read it.”   Little bits of the crinkled paper spill over his lap as he begins to unfold it.  The shirt is a sage green with stark white lettering.  Taemin reads it twice before he looks up at the pair with a grin.

“Mother fucker.”  Eunsook bursts out laughing even as Minho calls out “Hey!” from where he sits on the stool.

“He’s not wrong, babe.”

“Still,” Minho mutters disapprovingly as Taemin tugs the shirt over his head, grinning down at the words “World’s Okayest Uncle” printed across his chest.  He leans forward and grabs Eunsook tight, whispering “Congratulations” into her ear.

“Thanks.  There’s more,” she says, pointing to the bag.  Taemin frowns in concentration as he picks through the little papers again to unearth a small envelope.  There’s no card, just a piece of thick paper that Taemin squints at.

“A gift certificate?”

“For the steak house over on 82nd.”  He looks up at the both of them incredulously.

“And I’m supposed to get there how?”

“Bus,” Eunsook answers.

“Uber,” Minho corrects.  “We’ll pay for it.”

“So, I don’t have to take you with me?”

“No,” Minho says with a laugh.  “Take a friend.”

“Make a friend,” Eunsook adds.  “I’m sure Jinki gets hungry.”  Taemin flushes while Minho frowns.

“Eunsook…,” he says warningly.

“Stop stalking and start talking!”

“Eunsook!”

“Amber,” she relents.  “You could take Amber.”

“Cool,” Taemin says stiffly, tucking the paper and the envelope into the gift bag.  “Thanks.”  He looks up to find Eunsook smiling at him and Minho still sitting at the bar, neither of them moving.  “So…”

“Have you washed the cover?” Eunsook asks abruptly, looking down at the futon.

“Washed it?  Why?”

“Because you lie around naked on things.”

“They’re my things.”

“Still,” she argues, “you should wash it.”

“What if I don’t want to wash it?” he counters with a frown.

“Then I’ll be forced to break in when you’re gone and wash it for you.”

“What is with you and committing misdemeanors?  It’s a crime, you know, breaking into someone’s home.”

“Is it breaking in if I have a key?”

“You don’t have a key!” Taemin points out.  “Minho has a key!”

“We’re married!  What’s Minho’s is mine!  And-”

“OK, OK,” Minho interjects, jumping off the stool and crossing the room, scooping Eunsook off the futon.  “Happy birthday, Taemin.”

“Thanks.”

“I love you!” Eunsook calls as her husband carries her out the door.  “Wash your cover!”

“I hate you!” Taemin calls back with a laugh.  The door clicks shut behind them and he falls back on the futon, gift card in hand.

 

“97, 98, 99, 100.”  Jinki falls flat to the floor and stares at the ceiling, palms tucked beneath his head, abs burning.  Habit had him out of bed and on the floor and he was fifteen crunches in before he even knew what he was doing: A gift from Jonghyun that keeps on giving.   _“Nothing beats pain like more pain,”_ he’d said softly one night in the dark with his arm around Jinki’s shoulder.  A night when it felt like the pain would never end.   _“Especially pain we can control.”_   Six years later and it’s nice to have a semblance of control and an outlet when days get rough.  Or just get his blood pumping on good days like today.  Now he lies on the floor and thinks about how he needs to get his laundry done and how the carpet is so soft and how he knows that his bed is even softer.  If he took a nap now he could do his laundry later, early in the evening.  But that means sharing the laundry room with everyone else who put their wash off to the last minute and he’d rather have the alcove to himself.  Groaning in frustration, he rolls up off the floor, falling back down and throwing in a few dozen push-ups for good measure.

He pops back up and shakes his head, pulling the bands from his hair and letting the strands fall over his shoulders.  The air conditioner is turned down and his sweaty clothes tossed into the mesh hamper tucked in his bedroom corner.  The bands are dropped onto his dresser and then he wanders into the bathroom, naked.

Sighing into the vibrations of the shower, he closes his eyes and lets the water pour over his chest and back.  Shampoo that smells of mangoes and coconut is scrubbed into his hair and the bar of soap is put away covered in bubbles.  The palm of his right hand rubs at his rib, at the place he knows his heart beats beside Francesca’s name, another six-year-old habit.

The blackout curtains were left slightly open so that he would be able to see when he came back from the living room but only a thin sliver of light peeks through.  He grabs a black t-shirt from a drawer and he steps into a pair of denim shorts    The headband from earlier is snatched off the dresser and slipped over his head, another band tying up the rest of his hair.

Taemin had been on his mind for the past few weeks, a topic he thought about bringing up with Minho during their games.  Working on the weekends meant that they didn’t have as much time to play as before and he hadn’t worked up the nerve yet to ask him for Taemin’s number.  He wonders if Minho will be free for a game this afternoon.

He slips his feet into a pair of brown sandals and locks the door behind him before trudging down the sidewalk to the nearest alcove.  To his dismay, he finds the yard soaking in a downpour, the hope he’d built up to ask Minho to join him for a game falling apart with the sudden shift in weather.  Fiddling with his keys with one hand, the mesh basket sits at his hip as he chews his lip and tries to remember which one unlocks the alcove, distracted now by being forced to develop a new plan.  Kibum’s right, he thinks, he really needs to get them marked somehow.  The door unlocks just as he decides to go to the hardware store later to get key covers like Taeyeon’s.

 

It takes a heavy rumble of thunder overhead to draw Taemin’s attention away from the music before him.  A glance at his phone tells him that four hours have passed since he sat down and a quick look at the window shows him that since then a storm has begun.  Rain smacks at his windows in rivulets so thick that he can’t see through them.  He grins as he stares, standing up and pressing his palms against the cool panes.  An impulse strikes and he laughs as he grabs his keys and shoves them into his pocket, feet tucked quickly into a pair of sandals as he trots out the door.

Four flights of stairs are eagerly stumbled down, each landing swung around with glee, and he bursts out the main door into the muggy summer afternoon, grinning at the sight and the sound of a downpour turning the world a soft gray.

Lightning flashes far away and there is the soft rumbling of thunder.  Taemin walks out from under the awning, arms stretched before him and laughter bubbling up.  He glances up and down the sidewalk before dashing out into the open lawn, arms wide and eyes closed.  Kicking off his sandals, he wriggles his toes in the muddy grass, twirling half a dozen times before stopping, dizzy and delighted and deliciously damp.

Movement to his left has him turning around, surprised to find another standing in the rain.  A thin black shirt clings to their chest and abs and arms and Taemin knows he’s staring but he can’t look away, though he wishes he could get his mouth to close.  Jinki’s hair is again tied in a band, held back over the crown of his head with a thin headband.  His eyes are closed, arms hanging at his sides, palms up.  Bare feet stand in the same muddy grass and little droplets of rain pour over his face.  He looks over just as Taemin manages to get his mouth shut.

Abruptly aware of his own soaked state, Taemin runs both his hands quickly through his hair and belatedly hopes that he hasn’t just made it worse.

“Hey,” Jinki says with a smile.

“Hey.”

“Taemin, right?

“Yeah,” he nods, pleased to have his name remembered.  “And you’re Jinki,” he adds, pointing awkwardly.  The other nods, not moving from his spot.  Taemin takes the opportunity to step closer and hope that just this once his mouth will work in his favor so that his mouth can work in Jinki’s favor later.  He blushes at the thought, a surprise undoubtedly sparked by the loneliness that had him trying to get his ex to spend the night.  Nope, nope, he thinks, tucking his fists into his pockets, nope he has to get some conversation between them first.  And besides…he lets the thought fizzle out.  Actually, he thinks, maybe he is ready.

“I love the rain,” he blurts out.  A flinch creases his brow and he curses his brain for not coming up with something better.

“Yeah?”

“It’s just...I love the way the water feels.  So warm and soft and heavy.  Can’t help but run out when there’s a downpour.”  He swings around then, arms wide and palms up to catch as much rain as he can, laughing.  The look on Jinki’s face when he turns back has him biting his lip.

“Yeah, it does feel nice.”  Jinki’s eyes close again and he tilts his head back.  Taemin watches the rivulets run down his face and slip over the sharpest Adam’s apple he’s ever seen.

“Do you usually come out into the rain?”

“No,” Jinki answers, his eyes still closed.  “Usually I just watch with my window open or on the bench in one of the breezeways.”

“Oh.”  Taemin watches in confusion as Jinki bends forward and shakes his hair, running his fingers through the loose strands in the back as he stands up and looks over at him again with a smile.  He blows out a shaky breath through pursed lips and smiles back.

“Just hadn’t had a chance to do my laundry and this seemed easier.”

“What?” Taemin asks, startled.

“I’m joking.  Sort of.  My laundry’s running right now and I saw you out here.  You looked so happy I had to see for myself what the big deal was.”

“Oh.”  Taemin’s smile falters and his palms find each other at his waist, rubbing together anxiously.

“And figure out a topic.  Glad I did.”

“Oh?”  Taemin smiles, his thumbs now twiddling and his shoulders twisting slightly in joy.  “Good.”  He hooks his thumbs through his belt loops and smiles at Jinki who smiles back.  Suddenly he frowns.  “What topic?”  Jinki bursts out laughing and waving his hands around, catching droplets as they fall.  Taemin flushes, embarrassed.  “I just wasn’t sure if it was rain or laundry.”  The smile on Jinki’s face is worth being laughed at and Taemin himself can’t help but laugh back.  “If you...if you want I could...I could come over and help you fold.”

“Is that a euphemism?”  The rise of Jinki’s brow has Taemin’s own crinkling in confusion.

“Is that a...no!”  Another ripple of laughter and Taemin decides that coming out into the rain is one of the best choices he’s made.

“Not sure I’m ready yet for you to see the mysteries of my laundry, dirty or clean,” Jinki says with a little laugh.  “But I would like to continue this conversation upstairs where it’s cool and dry.”

“Sure.  I know all about laundry.  Detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets, the current revolution against commercial products in favor of homemade.”  Taemin’s nodding with the straightest face he can muster while Jinki’s eyes slowly widen.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“And how have you gained such wisdom on this domestic topic?”  The snort in Taemin’s nose escapes before he can catch it and his eyes are closed as he chuckles.

“My sister is really into saving money.  And ecology.  She’s pretty competitive about it.”

“Wow.  I didn’t know Eunsook was into that.”

“Different sister.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.  Well I look forward to learning much more about the laundry revolution.  See you in thirty?”

“Your place or mine?”  Jinki pauses and Taemin’s chest tightens as he waits.

“Mine,” he answers slowly.  “215.”

“OK.  See you in 30.”  Jinki nods and then turns to leave, waving as he starts walking back to the laundry alcove.  Taemin watches until he disappears inside.

The squeal tickles his throat as he twirls in the rain.

The steps back up to his floor are taken two at a time and he swings around each turn.  Four flights and he’s panting when he reaches the top, grinning as he bursts back into his apartment.  Sandals are kicked off in the foyer and his bare feet slap against the floor as he runs to his bedroom.  Everything he’s wearing is stripped off and dropped on the floor and it’s then that he realizes that he doesn’t know what to wear.  He’s not sure where he wants this day to go so he needs to be careful in choosing what he’ll be traveling there in.  In the end, he grabs black jeans and belt, a dark purple shirt with a sharp V-neck.  The toothbrush is in his mouth before he realizes what he’s doing and he runs his fingers through his damp hair quickly with the empty hand.  A pair of silver hoops are slipped into his lobes and black studs dot his ears.

A little of the excitement bursts into a whole new hue when he catches his eye in the glass.  Standing up straight, he tugs at his shirt and pats at his face, turns his head side to side.  It’s nothing, he knows, at this point.  A hot guy flirted with him in the rain and invited him up to his apartment.  Taemin stops his fidgeting and his smile tightens.  A deep breath is taken and then blown out through damp lips and he follows the tenuous thread of hope out the door.

“215, 215, 215,” he mutters to himself when he reaches the second floor, pointing to each door that is wrong until he reaches the one that is right.  A step toward the door is hindered by a sudden dual clenching of fists, excitement bubbling up and out.  He shakes his shoulders and clears his throat and steps forward to knock at the door.

A muffled voice and footsteps that grow progressively louder are followed by the door opening and Taemin’s heart skipping at the revelation of Jinki’s smiling face as he says, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Come on in.  Tell me more about this revolution.”

Taemin’s feet freeze, toes just behind the doorway.  He can feel the sudden warmth of his wrist beneath his palm but he can’t stop himself from rubbing at it anxiously.  There’s been nothing said or done to indicate this is anything more than a friendly invitation.  But he’s not sure he would know if it were and he knows, quite suddenly, that he’s not ready if it is.

“Actually, I was thinking we could get something to eat.”

“Oh,” Jinki says, a little of his smile fading.  “OK.  Did you have a place in mind?”  Taemin’s mouth opens and closes and then he blows out a thought of thanks.

“Uh, yeah.  I have a voucher for that steak house over on 82nd if you want to go there.”

“Sure.  You don’t need to use it on me, though,” Jinki says as he steps into his sandals, “I’ll pay my own way.”

“No,” Taemin laughs as Jinki steps out into the hall, “it’s from Eunsook.  She wants me to ‘make friends’,” he says with quotations in the air.  The door closes and they begin heading toward the stairs.

Jinki chuckles and says that in that case he’ll buy appetizers.

“Deal?”  Taemin nods with a smile.

“Deal.”

Jinki’s car is clean and smells nice, something like musk but lighter.  The radio is low and Taemin’s foot taps along to the beat.

“So, where did you move from?” Jinki asks casually.

“Just across town.  The rent is cheaper out here.”  

Jinki nods, adding, “And so’s your sister.”  

Taemin turns to him in shock, grinning as he asks, “Did you just call my sister ‘cheap’?”  

Jinki grimaces.

“... Yes.  That is not what I meant.  I meant that your sister is out here too.”

“Yeah,” Taemin concedes, sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms.  “That was not a selling point but it’s turned out OK so far.”

Jinki nods as he pulls into the parking lot.

They stand awkwardly in the vestibule while a waiter gathers up a pair of menus and waves over to a table in the center of the room .  Not Taemin’s first choice and his discomfort must show because Jinki asks if there’s a booth in the back, somewhere quieter.

“Sure!” their waiter replies brightly.  “Just follow me.”  Jinki glances at Taemin who smiles back in relief, following behind to a table in the farthest corner of the restaurant.

“What can I get you started on today?”  Jinki looks at Taemin who quickly answers, “Just water for now, thanks.”

“Same.”  The waiter nods and hurries off.  Taemin picks up his menu and begins scouring the pages.  “Drinks, too.”  He looks up to find Jinki looking at his own menu.

“What?”

“Drinks.  I said I’d buy appetizers.  Drinks too.”

“Oh.  OK.  You really don’t have to.”  Jinki just shrugs and continues to look at his menu.

 

“Ughhh…”

“Same,” Taemin moans, nodding limply from where he lies propped up in a corner of Jinki’s sofa.  If he hadn’t felt so close to death he might not have accepted Jinki’s offer inside.  But this was a kind of agony he didn’t want to endure alone, especially since their evening had gone so well.  Lots of laughter and teasing, Jinki’s sense of humor so hit or miss but even when it was awful Taemin couldn’t help but laugh.  And Jinki had laughed at his jokes as well, an authentic, hearty chuckle that left Taemin’s chest warm and his cheeks sore.

Jinki, he learned, was a kindergarten teacher during the school year but was at present working at a friend’s bar.

“Pay’s better and there’s not much difference between herding 5-year-olds and herding drunks.”

“I don’t think a 5-year-old can punch you out.”

“You’d be surprised.”

Taemin explained how he made his money teaching piano at a music academy, his income supplemented by weddings, funerals, and various parties.

“Funerals?”

“A lot of people like to have a hymn playing during the viewing.  Some want a peppy song to represent the type of life the person led.”

“What’s the weirdest song you’ve played?”

“Hound dog by Elvis,” Taemin answers quickly, the memory of the service with the minister dressed in a white pantsuit and sunglasses still etched in his mind.

“Wow.”

“Yep.”

They’d ordered appetizers and a simple tease about who could eat the cheddar bacon potato wedges the quickest had turned into a full-blown eating contest, resplendent with identical brownie sundaes.  They had barely made it from their table to Jinki’s car, much less from Jinki’s car to his apartment, and now they lay on opposite sides of the room, Jinki in a recliner and Taemin on the sofa, bemoaning their fate.

“Ughhh…”

“Same,” Jinki replies.  “We should do this again soon.”  Taemin looks over at Jinki’s closed eyes and smiles.

“Definitely.”

~

“You really should just get me my own key,” Eunsook says brightly as Taemin begrudgingly lets her in.

“No,” he quickly refuses as he shuts the door.

“Fine.  I haven’t seen you all week.  How have you been?  What did you do for your actual birthday?  Did you take Amber to the steak house yet?”

“No.  I…”  Taemin turns, letting the silence build with a wicked grin.

“What?”

“I took Jinki.”

“What?!  Oh my gosh tell me everything!”  He opens his mouth to speak when she hurriedly adds “While we do your laundry.”

“What?”

“It’s driving me nuts, Taemin.  The cover.  All week.”

“It’s my laundry, Eunsook.”  Her eyes grow big then, the slightest pout of her bottom lip and he frowns.

“Please?”  He sighs and turns to go down the hall to his room and grab his hamper.  Little bits of laundry are picked up off the floor as he heads back to the door, turning around with a groan when she reminds him to get his sheets.

All four machines in their little alcove whir as Eunsook sits atop the counter meant for folding and presses Taemin for details about his date with Jinki.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“It was a date.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Let me have this.”  Taemin crosses his arms and leans against the wall.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“What was it then?”

“Just lunch.”

“A lunch date.”

“Anyway,” he says pointedly as she shifts.  “it was good.  Great, actually.  He’s really funny.”

“And hot,” Eunsook adds, grinning when Taemin rolls his eyes.  “So, what happened?”

“We ate so much that we nearly threw up.  Went back to his apartment after to let our stomachs settle.”  He shakes his head as her eyes light up.  “That’s all, just sat around and talked.”

“About what?”

“Just…stuff,” Taemin says with a shrug.  The content of the conversation never seemed as important as the fun he was having engaging in it.  It was nice, calm; he felt like he’d known Jinki for years and he’d forgotten to be flustered by his lips and eyes, though he’d still found himself staring more than once.

“Hmmm,” Eunsook hums in response, hand rubbing at her waist.  Taemin catches the movement and peers up at her.

“You okay?”

“Just a little tired.  Second semester starts soon.  Excited and a little nervous.  Hoping the nausea will taper off.”  Taemin nods as the whirring of the machines slows and then the four begin to beep in succession.  He begins shifting the damp laundry from the washers to the dryers, taking the dryer sheets and quarters Eunsook hands him in turn.  Soon the room is echoing with the thump of four loads of laundry slowly drying.

Eunsook asks a few more pressing questions that Taemin answers with varying degrees of detail.

“We’ve been texting, trying to find a day we could get together again.  He works nights most of the time so it’s hard to get our schedules to match, especially on the weekends.  But he’s working an early shift this week and he’s going to stop by tonight after work.”

“Ooh,” Eunsook says with a grin.  “What are you going to do?”

“Probably grab dinner.”

“You could order in.  Maybe get a pizza or something.”

“Maybe.”

“At least your futon will be clean.”

“We could always make it dirty again,” he says as he raises a brow.

“Either way, have fun,” she says with a shrug.  “I’ll stop by tomorrow to see how it went.  Maybe bring Jinki a cup of coffee.”

“Holy fuck, Eunsook!  I was joking!  I’m not going to sleep with him on the second date!”  Eunsook grins and Taemin slaps his palm to his forehead, catching his mistake.

Twenty minutes later Taemin’s alone in the alcove, leaning up against the folding counter and looking at his phone.  Eunsook had abruptly slipped off the counter and declared that she needed to take a nap.  Taemin had pointed at the machines and said, “Laundry.”  Eunsook had pointed at her waist and said, “Symbiont.”  She’d paused at the doorway and asked if he wanted her to send Minho down to help when he got home but he’d shaken his head and waved her off.  He’d watched her until she’d disappeared into the breezeway and then pulled out his phone to pass the time.

Now the machines are stopping, one after another, and he stuffs the laundry as deep into the hamper as he can, the rest balanced precariously beneath his chin, skipping the stairs and taking the elevator.  Once back in his apartment, he dumps everything onto the futon, groaning when he realizes that he’s going to have to put the cover back on, especially if Eunsook is going to be stopping by.  There’s still time, he thinks, when there’s a knock at his door.

Taemin’s two steps away from the door when he suddenly panics and almost pretends he’s not home.  Glancing at the mound of laundry, he curses before opening the door with a forced smile.

Jinki smiles back, saying “Hey” as Taemin waves him inside.  The smile on his own lips begins to falter as the one on Jinki’s grows and he closes his eyes in mortification as he shuts the door and a soft whistle escapes Jinki’s lips.

He’s a little jealous of that whistle.

“What...?”  The question can’t even be finished and Taemin knows it can’t.

“Just doing a little laundry,” he explains with a shrug.

“A little?”  Jinki turns to him with a bemused grin and Taemin’s a little afraid he sees genuine concern in Jinki’s eyes.

“Yes?”

“Taemin...”  He turns back and his shoulders briefly shake in laughter before it’s quiet again and again Taemin closes his eyes.

“Eunsook made me wash my laundry and then she ditched me.  It was a ‘wash and dash’.  Why don’t those words rhyme?”

“What do you mean ‘made you’?”

“She just,” Taemin shrugs, “made me.”

“Do you usually need prodding to do your laundry?”

“Uh…”

“What?”

“It’s not what it’s going to sound like,” Taemin says quickly.   Jinki’s head tilts to the side with a curious smile.

“My mind is open.”

“Well usually...OK this is going to sound bad but I swear it’s not.”

“OK.”

“OK so...since I moved in Minho’s been doing my laundry.”  Jinki nods slowly.

“Minho...does your laundry.”

“It’s not like I asked him to or anything!” Taemin blurts out.  “I can do it myself!  But I managed to shrink a bed sheet and there might have been a small fire so he just sort of took over.”   He pauses before muttering “Eunsook probably made him, too,” under his breath.

“A fire?”  Taemin throws his hands up in protest.

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“OK.”

“It really wasn’t!”

“OK.”  Taemin groans and moves to flop down on the futon when he realizes that it’s covered in every towel, sheet, shirt, pants, socks, underwear, and blanket that had the misfortune of being in his apartment when Eunsook came by.  He groans again and does a little stomp that has Jinki snorting behind him.

“Did you forget it was there?”

“Yes,” he whines.  There’s no point in pretending anything else had happened.

“Do you want me to help you put it away?”

“No.  I mean yeah, of course I want help.  But no, I don’t want your first time in my apartment to be spent putting my laundry away.”

“It’s an impressively sized pile of laundry.”  Taemin groans again and lightly punches Jinki’s arm, letting his fist linger and not looking up.  He smiles to himself when Jinki doesn’t pull away.

“Do you want something to drink?  There’s still a seat there,” he says as he points at the built-in bar and its one lonely stool.  “You can sit while I shift this somewhere else.”

“Ooh I do love to watch a man at work.”  This time Jinki ducks Taemin’s fist with a chuckle as he walks into the kitchen.  The sound of the fridge opening is a backdrop to Taemin’s blanking mind trying to figure out the best way to dig back down to his futon.

“Taemin?”

“Yeah?” he asks, still staring at the mound of laundry.

“Your refrigerator is empty.”

“Oh.  Yeah.”  He glances over his shoulder.  “Um...”

“How about I go to the market on the corner and grab some drinks while you move the monster and when I get back we can talk and make a grocery list?”

“OK.”  Taemin smiles at him, suddenly a little shy and very, very thankful.  He begins to turn back to the project, calculating what exactly to do with “the monster” when he hears his name called.

“Taemin?”

“Yeah?”

“Whatever you do...”

“...yeah?”

“Don’t put it on the bed.”  Jinki’s eyebrows wiggle and Taemin’s eyes grow wide and they’re both laughing as he chases him out the door.  Looking at the mess, he decides to follow Jinki’s advice.  The bed is clear, though the closet is stuffed to the brim, when Taemin heads back out to the living room to cover the futon.

He manages to get the cover zipped up just as Jinki gets back.  

“Much better,” he says as he moves to sit on the now cleared futon, Taemin soon to follow.  “Nice,” he adds, pointing to the piano across the room with one hand as he hands a tall can of iced tea to Taemin.

“Came with the apartment,” Taemin says as he pops the tab.  Jinki chuckles, twisting the cap off his own drink.

“Lucky.  Mine only came with an old toilet brush.”  Taemin makes a face of disgust and shakes his head.

“Ew.”

“Yeah.  So.  The piano.”

“Graduation gift,” he explains, looking at the piano fondly.  “Everyone else asked for a car, I asked for a piano.  I’ve been playing since I was five.  Love it.  Lucky I was able to make a career out of it.”  He takes a nervous sip before leaning back and kicking his feet out.  “I... also...sort of...write music.  A little.”

“Songs?”

“A few,” he says, turning to look at Jinki.  “Mostly the music, though.”

“Are you any good?”

“At writing music?”

“Playing.”

“I just told you I’ve been playing since I was five,” Taemin scoffs.  “That’s eighteen years.  And I teach for a living!”  Jinki shrugs and shakes his head.

“Doesn’t mean you’re good.”  Taemin puts his can on the floor as he begins to stand.

“Is this your way of baiting me into demonstrating my proficiency at the piano?”

“I am interested in seeing what you can do with your fingers.”  Taemin chortles as Jinki grins, leaning over to pick up Taemin’s can.  Taemin moves to sit at the bench, sliding open the cover and cracking his fingers before glancing over his shoulder.

“Any requests?”

“Anything you’ve written.”  Taemin flushes with delight as he begins to play.  It’s an old song, one he has memorized to a point that his fingers can play it without his mind’s focus.  A skill of import now that he has Jinki in his apartment and he’s certain he’s being flirted with.  The song ends and he turns around, hopeful for praise.  What he finds is Jinki staring at him, mouth slightly open.

“You wrote that?”  He fidgets self-consciously on the bench, glancing at the keys and then back at Jinki.

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

“Is that a good ‘wow’?”

“That was so amazing.”

“Thanks.”

“Will you play me another one?”  Taemin nods and begins to turn back to the keys.  A thought crosses his mind and he looks over his shoulder to quickly blurt out, “I love to show off what I can do with my fingers.”  It’s Jinki’s turn to chortle and Taemin begins his next song with a grin on his face.

 

Jinki stands in the hallway and watches Taemin lock his door, nodding when the other looks his way.  The sky is already dark, they stayed at Taemin’s much longer than either of them had realized.  The way Taemin’s face softened into an almost ethereal expression of peace when he played had taken Jinki’s breath away and he had been reluctant to let the performances end.  They had to, though.  Both were becoming hungry and Taemin’s refrigerator was still bare and his wasn’t stocked with enough for two.

They stop at a drive-thru for cheap burgers to avoid the pitfalls of shopping on empty stomachs.  Taemin argues over who’s buying until Jinki points out that the burgers are a buck and that he’s sure he can spend eight quarters so that Taemin isn’t famished when they hit the store.  Taemin begrudgingly agrees, eyes lighting up and he eagerly chants “Gimme, gimme, gimme” when the greasy bag is handed through the window.  They eat on the way to the market and toss the wrappers in the bin outside the door before grabbing carts and heading in.

“Are you aware that there are no vegetables on your list?” Jinki asks, foot pressing against the base of the cart as he leans on the handle, rocking back and forth.

“There’s fruit.” Taemin’s back is to him and he’s deciding between the blueberry frosted mini wheats and the strawberry frosted mini wheats, finger tapping each box in turn.  

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“Yes, I am aware,” Taemin mutters, staring at the shelves in front of them.  

“Any particular reason?”  He grabs the strawberry and begins to walk away, abruptly turning back and grabbing the blueberry one as well.  The boxes clatter into the cart that’s too big for his meager list, though Jinki’s isn’t any fuller.  At the last minute he’d decided to pick up just a few things since they were already there.

“I have a huge jar of pickles at the apartment,” Taemin explains.  “I think that’s enough.”  Jinki just shrugs when Taemin points out that there are no vegetables in his cart either.

“My refrigerator isn’t the one that’s empty.”

They wander around, up and down aisles, Jinki’s cart nearly careening into a shelf stocked with canned fruit.  They reach the very end of the store, the bakery where Taemin laments the empty cookie display case.  Wordlessly, Jinki grabs a bag of fresh baked cookies off a shelf and tilts his head toward the register with a grin.

He catches Taemin’s eyes lingering on the cut of beef he’s put on the conveyor belt and turns away quickly, watching the meat gliding slowly to the cashier who smiles tiredly and asks if they found everything they were looking for.

“Yes,” Jinki answers, glancing at Taemin who’s reading the headlines of glossy magazines stacked in metal racks.  “I did.”

They carry their bags to Jinki’s car in the dark parking lot, the crinkle of paper sacks loud in the still night air and the beep of Jinki’s car unlocking even louder.  Jinki’s song selection is a topic of discourse on the ride back to the apartments, Taemin laughing whenever an old song comes on and singing along when it’s something he knows.  Not once does he see the way Jinki looks at him when he sings, eyes closed and smile bright.  The urge to join is tempered by the desire to hear more and he lets Taemin’s husky voice fill the air.  As they step out of the car, he says, “Go put your stuff away and come back down.  I have a surprise.”  He smiles and hopes that isn’t hesitation in Taemin’s eyes when he softly answers, “OK.”

 

Five minutes later there’s a rapping on his door, something that he belatedly realizes is the beat to the last song Taemin had sung in his car.  He laughs as he wipes his hands on a towel, quickly checking the pan to make sure everything is fine.  He still has the towel in his hand when he opens the door and he laughs himself when Taemin points to the apron he’s wearing with a grin.

“’Hot Stuff Coming Through’?”

“A gift from a friend with a quirky sense of humor,” he explains.

“The best kind,” Taemin replies.  Jinki lights up at the response as he closes the door.

“Yes, exactly.”  Taemin’s nodding, sniffing the air and then peering into the kitchen.  A smile blooms on his lips and he turns back to Jinki with wide eyes.

“Is this the surprise?”

“Yes.  I figured that dollar burgers were a good tide over but we did have plans for an actual dinner.  Since you paid last time I thought I’d pay this time.”

“You cooked though!  You didn’t have to do that.  Besides, I didn’t pay.  Eunsook did.”  Jinki shrugs as he walks back to the stove, checking on the steak and lifting the lid to poke at the asparagus steaming on a back burner.

“All the good places are closed and besides, I wanted to.”  Taemin’s smile when he sees what Jinki’s poking at immediately melts into a frown.

“What is that?”

“Asparagus.”

“Asparagus?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Trust me, you’ll like them.”  Taemin looks over, incredulous.

“I never have before.”

“One bite and if I’ve led you astray you can decide what my punishment will be.”  He wiggles his eyebrows and is relieved when Taemin laughs.

“Fine.  But I’m holding you to that.”

“Deal.”  Jinki lifts his hand and Taemin smacks it eagerly.

 

“Oh my god.”  Taemin’s staring at Jinki as though he’s performed a magic trick.  Jinki nods and smiles victoriously.

“Told you.”

“I just…”

“No one ever thinks to.”

“Wow.”

“Exactly.”  Taemin takes another bite of his asparagus, now dripping in steak sauce.  Five small bowls hold five different dipping sauces: steak, BBQ, ketchup, spicy mustard, and hot sauce.  Jinki had told him to “pick his poison” and Taemin had chosen the steak sauce, looking at Jinki with suspicion before taking the tiniest bite.

“It’s so good.”

“Glad you like it.”

A silence falls between them, the low hum of delight from Taemin permeating through every time he takes a bite.  His eyes are closed as he chews and Jinki watches, eyes slipping down to lips now reddened with sauce.  He turns away just as Taemin’s eyes open, taking his own bite and staring at his plate as he begins to chew.  Swallowing, he looks back up to find Taemin watching him.  Their eyes meet and Taemin smiles before taking another bite.

“We should play ‘never have I ever’.”

“We just met and you clearly have a low tolerance,” Jinki replies, pointing at the flush coloring Taemin’s cheeks from just one beer.  “I’m not getting you drunk on our second…I’m not getting you drunk.”

“You really think I would get drunk?” he asks, seemingly excited at the revelation that Jinki thinks he’s lived a life that would make him a winner at a drinking game.  Jinki laughs and points at him with his fork.

“I’m not risking it.  Just tell me more about you.”

“Like what?”

“Like…everything.”

There’s no lapse in conversation.  The topics switch with such smoothness that sunlight is streaming through the open blinds before they realize they’re still talking.  Hours have passed uninterrupted, unabated, not even fatigue pulling their attentions away.  It’s only when Taemin suggests they eat breakfast that Jinki realizes how many hours exactly.  Eighteen, he discovers, looking at the clock on his phone.  The last eighteen hours were spent with Taemin.

~

The rattling of the phone vibrating against the side table jolts Taemin awake and he sits straight up, blinking rapidly in confusion in the dark.  The now hazy image of Jinki’s lips and faint feeling of his soft hands is just strong enough yet for Taemin to lay back down and close his eyes with the hope of rekindling the dream.  A month’s worth of late afternoons turned to early mornings talking and laughing, text messages in the hours in-between, had created a library of moments his mind wove into dreams that had him waking with a smile.  His eyes squeeze shut and his sleepy brain begins to weave again.  

Another round of buzzing rips the image from Taemin’s imagination and thrusts him back into an empty bed and the glow of a new message.  Another buzz has his eyes flying open and his limbs scrambling through the bedding to grab at the offender.  Taemin is about to turn his phone off completely when his sleepy brain suddenly recognizes the incoming number and he quickly swipes the screen to read their message.

_ last day for pool.  wanna come? _

Taemin glances at the clock at the top of the screen and frowns.

_ now? _

_ yes. _

_ six am. _

_ yes. _

He looks at the message for a moment before grinning.

_ k. _

_ omw _

Taemin throws off the thin sheet and runs to his dresser, digging through the bottom drawer until he finds the swim shorts with the surfboarding bananas he likes so much.  Quickly, he brushes his teeth and runs his fingers through his hair, and has a towel tossed over his shoulder by the time Jinki knocks at his door.

A smile that is far too bright for the hour greets Taemin and he laughs at the pineapple-in-sunglasses print board shorts Jinki wears beneath a fitted black V-neck.  For the first time, Jinki’s hair is down, dark locks brushing against sharp collar bones and Taemin’s so mesmerized by the change that he barely hears Jinki asking if he was ready.

“It’ll be freezing, you know,” he points out.

“It’ll also be empty.  And my shower is very warm.”  Jinki gives that little smile that Taemin loves, the one that comes with a brow wiggle he is learning to emulate.

“What?” he asks in faux distress.  “No bath?”

“No bubbles,” Jinki laments as Taemin turns to lock his door, tucking the key into the pocket of his shorts.

“Just use shampoo,” he says with a shrug.

“Heresy!” Jinki replies with a shoulder bump.

“Life hack,” Taemin retorts with a bump of his own.

“Hahaha!”

“We could always go the market, pick up a bottle.”  Jinki only smiles and Taemin blushes, wondering if that was a step too far.

The pool is empty and the sky is lavender.  The stillness of the air keeps the morning a little warmer than normal but Taemin’s still a little unsure even as he drops his towel onto one of the lounge chairs.  Jinki’s stretching and smiling and asking Taemin if he’s ready to dive in.

“Aren’t you going to take your top off?” he asks, confused.

“No.  I prefer to keep it on.”

“Oh.  OK.”  Taemin suddenly feels shy and a little embarrassed to be so exposed next to Jinki still in his shirt.  And a little silly since he’s the one who’s complained that it’ll be cold.  He scratches the back of his head and motions to the water.  “Who goes in first?”

“You,” Jinki says with a grin as he shoves Taemin.  Taemin shoves him back with a laugh.

“On the count of three?”

“OK.  One…”  Jinki tilts his head at Taemin who nods.

“Two.”

“Three!”

The water is bitter cold and Taemin is half screaming when he pops back up.  Jinki’s at the other edge of the pool yelping himself, laughing and flipping his hair out of his face.   Taemin bobs in the waves and watches as Jinki pushes himself up out of the water, muscled calves flexing and the outline of his body highlighted beneath the soaked t-shirt that now clings to his skin.  The shirt is shaken loose as he turns back around, again facing Taemin.  He flashes a grin and then he’s canon balling less than a foot away, the splash of water covering Taemin’s head and the power of the waves knocking him backwards, off his feet.  Jinki’s eyes are panicked and his hand is at Taemin’s wrist when he comes up, coughing so violently that his eyes squeeze shut.

“Whoa!  Are you okay?”  Taemin nods even as he gasps for air, the palm of Jinki’s hand rubbing circles against his back.  “Sorry.”  

He shakes his head with a wry smile and croaks out, “Four sisters, all older.  I’ve survived worse.”  He chuckles as an uncertain smile breaks Jinki’s frown.  A silent sigh blows over his lips as Jinki pulls away, arms moving through the water at his sides as he slowly swims backwards.

“Do you know any tricks?” Taemin asks, following slowly, unwilling to let him get too far away.  The smile brightens.

“Tricks?”

“Just…anything.”  Jinki begins to open his mouth and Taemin cuts him off with a grin and “Other than nearly drowning people with your exceptional canon ball skills.”  To his delight, Jinki laughs.

“Back flips.  From the edge of the pool, not just a diving board.”  Taemin stops, the loss of momentum momentarily causing him to sink again and he quickly resumes paddling his arms.

“No way.”

“Yeah.  You want me to?”

“Yes!”

“Move over there,” Jinki points to the side of the pool, “out of the line of fire.”  Taemin paddles over to the side and leans against the gravelly wall, arms braced against the tiles above.

Again, Jinki climbs out of the pool and again Taemin admires the curve of his hips and the width of his shoulders, toned calves and muscled thighs.  Another sigh slips through his lips that this time is muffled by the waves.  Jinki has his heels near the edge of the pool, glancing over his shoulder and adjusting his stance.  He looks over at Taemin and winks before leaping into the air and splashing into the pool, knees first.  When he comes up he shakes his head, hands running over his face and fingers through his hair.  A bright smile, proud and excited, meets Taemin’s eyes and he smiles back happily.

“That was awesome.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  Let me try.”  He rolls up onto the edge of the pool, exaggerated sexy poses eliciting laughter from the other side where Jinki leans against a wall.  His chest clings to his shirt, arms stretched over the edge, a perfect mirror to Taemin’s pose just minutes earlier.  Taemin licks his lips and moves to the edge, heels bracing.  He counts to three and then jumps.

Jinki’s climbing over the wall when he pops up, rubbing the water out of his eyes.

“Come on!  We should do it together.”

Taemin climbs out and pads over to where Jinki stands at the edge.  They get into position, side by side but not too close.  Suddenly Jinki grabs his hand and shakes it, a smile and nothing more before he lets go and says “Ready?”  Taemin thinks it might mean more and he answers “Yes” because either way he thinks it’s true.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

When he comes up it’s to Jinki’s smiling face, too close to be an accident.  He’s just watching Taemin, just watching, eyes flitting to his mouth so briefly that Taemin’s sure he imagined it.  Maybe he should say something.  Maybe he should just watch back.  His own eyes flicker to Jinki’s mouth and back up, a little laugh when he realizes that they’re circling in the water.  Jinki moves closer, waves pushing Taemin back that he fights with short kicks.  He watches as Jinki’s mouth opens, as his eyes flicker away and back and his heart skips a little and he thinks-

**_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ **

They each push backwards, startled by the sound of the pool gate being shaken.  A little child stands there, chubby fists gripping the chain link with a full swim mask and snorkel attached to their face.  The child waves and they wave back, glancing at each other and laughing in confusion.  A quick call of an indistinguishable name has the child running away, snorkel bouncing with every step.  The two chuckle and look away, the momentum broken.  Waves are left in their wake as they climb out.   They each grab their towels and Jinki holds the gate open for Taemin as they step out onto the sidewalk.  

Taemin’s towel is over his shoulders and Jinki’s over his head as they head back inside, cutting over the grass and making plans for a meal now that they’re hungry and wet.

“Meet me back at my apartment in ten minutes?  Time to get a shower in and change into clothes that don’t drip everywhere.”  Taemin laughs as Jinki wrings out his shirt on the grass just before they enter the breezeway.

“Drip drop, drip drop.”

“Yeah, on me.”  Jinki responds with a laugh, joining Taemin on the bottom step and walking with him in silence until they reach his floor.  They stop, watching each other and Taemin wishes Jinki would make a move because he doesn’t think he can.  Instead he hears “See you in ten” before Jinki disappears down the hall.  Taemin watches a moment longer before taking the next three flights of stairs two at a time.

The lights are left off as he steps out of his swim shorts, tossing them into the kitchen sink on his way to the bathroom.  The hot water feels wonderful against his chilled skin and he leans into it with a sigh thinking about Jinki and how maybe they might have kissed.  Maybe they still can.

 

Jinki grabs his keys at the sound of Taemin’s knock on his door and grins when he finds him standing on his door mat with one hand at his wrist.

“Ready?”  There’s the briefest hesitation, a flicker of something in Taemin’s eye before a smile blooms on his lips and he says, “Yep.”

They head down the corridor, down the stairs and out the breezeway.  He glances at Taemin twice as subtly as he can, admiring his neck and the way the black muscle shirt rests over his shoulders and leaves his arms bare.  A little small talk in the car, a little chatter about insignificant things between two men who are hungry and still a little shy about what the other might think, thinking about what what might have been and what might still be.

They’ve slipped into a routine that is comfortable, a relationship whose roots have taken form and whose branches and leaves are slowly beginning to blossom.   The beginning of something that may end at where it is: A friendship, companionship, someone to have a laugh and a meal with.  Perhaps more.  Perhaps a person to spend quiet nights at home with, someone to struggle in the dark over blankets that are never big enough, the one they run to when the cracks of the world grow too large to ignore or heavy to carry.  The one whose lips they crave and whose body they know as well as their own.

Maybe, if they’re lucky, all of it.


	2. Autumn

“So,” Taeyeon asks, “how many passersby are checking out your smoking hot friend?”  Jinki scoffs even as he begins to look around.  The bench they wait for Kibum and Drew on faces a quiet street and he does a quick scan of the people passing by.

“So far, four men and two women.”

“Kibum says we shouldn’t assume gender.”

“Fair point.  Clothing?”

“Go for it.”

“Five pants and a skirt.”

“Ooh!  Nice.  How many not-so-subtle glances at the girl with the stick?”

This is the game that Jinki doesn’t like to play.

“You’re assuming that they’re not checking me out,” he points out, hoping to distract her.

It works.

“Why?  What are you wearing?”

“Plaid button up shirt and a pair of ripped jeans.”

“I love ripped jeans!  Let me feel!”  He shifts toward her and flinches when her fingers tickle his knee.  “Oh, I like that!”

“Very airy,” he agrees with a laugh.  Her hand stills at his thigh, finger scratching at the ripped denim.  Abruptly, she pats him twice and then moves to grip the bench.

“You should ask him out.  Just say ‘Hey I like spending time with you and I also want to suck your dick.’”  Jinki grimaces at the elderly pedestrian who frowns in their direction.

“I don’t think that will work on Taemin the way it worked on Kibum.”

“Then come up with something of your own.  Just ask him out.”

“Can’t.”

“Why?”

“His sister already did.”  Taeyeon bursts out laughing, grabbing at his knee again.

“What are you talking about?!”  Jinki begins to answer when he realizes what he’s just said.

“Me!” he cries, grabbing her wrist.  “She asked me out!  Wait, no.”  Taeyeon snorts while he tries to get his words together.  “Over for dinner.  Eunsook invited me over for dinner with her and Minho.  I think she’s trying to set us up.  She made sure to tell me that Taemin would be there too.”

“Before or after you said yes?”

“After.”  Taeyeon hums and nods approvingly.  “So, I’ll…I’ll see how that goes.”

“That’s a weird way of deciding whether you’re going to tell someone that you want to have sex with that you want to have sex with them.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being friends, you know.”

“Sure, no.  Friends are great,” she says, fingers poking again at the rips at Jinki’s knee.  “Friends with sex are even better, sometimes.  Sex with friends is always good.  You’re treading water, though, and that’s lame.”

“Language.”

“Fine, fine.  Dull?”

“Better.”  He looks down at her fingers and kicks the opposite heel beneath the bench.  “I’m going to tread water just a little longer.”

“You’re really into him, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he says, taking her fingers, “I really am.”

~

The kernel Amber tosses bounces off Taemin’s nose into his mouth and he raises his fists in victory.  He’s lying on the floor with his feet up on the futon and Amber’s been throwing popcorn at his face for the last ten minutes.

Abruptly, he asks, “How do people hook up?”

Amber keeps her eyes on the bowl at her lap, shifting through the leftover kernels.

“You’re going to have be either more specific or less specific with your question.”

Taemin blows a raspberry, flinching when the kernel Amber finally decides on bounces off his forehead.

“Damn!”

“We flirt and I thought we almost kissed but,” Taemin pauses, reaching up over his head and grabbing the stray kernel and popping it in his mouth.  “Nothing since.”

“Didn’t he make you dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Taemin?”

“Yeah?”

“When have I ever made you dinner?”

“Um…we’re having popcorn right now.”

“It’s upsetting that you’re not even joking.”  Taemin just wiggles and opens his mouth for more.  This time it sails in neatly.

“Eunsook makes me dinner.”

“Eunsook changed your diapers.”

“Holy fuck, Amber!” Taemin cries, sitting up on his elbows.  “What the hell?!”

“Just pointing out you might not want to make comparisons between your sister and the dude you want to fuck.”

“OK, OK, geez.”  He lies back down and frowns.

“My point is that he made you dinner.  Actually made you dinner, not just warmed up a pizza for you.”  The last sentence is made with a teasing smile and Taemin scoffs from the floor.

“You ate it, you don’t get to complain.”

“No complaints,” Amber replies, lying down and popping a kernel into her mouth, “I don’t think I’d trust anything you actually made yourself.  I love you but when it comes to you cooking I have doubts.”

“It’s just,” Taemin starts, “Jongin and I were together for so long.  And I’m not sure how to start again.”  Amber lets an arm fall to the ground, fingers tapping across the carpet until they poke Taemin on the arm.

“Maybe you’re just not ready.”

“I am, though.  I wasn’t.  When we first met.  Well, the first time we actually talked, when he invited me up to talk I wasn’t.  I froze at the doorway.  Just couldn’t get through.  But now…fuck I want to know what he looks like naked.”  She watches him for a moment and then pokes him on the arm again before tucking her hand up beneath her cheek.

“You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

“Did I tell you he wore a shirt to the pool?”

“Yes.”

“It was almost sexier than if he hadn’t had a shirt on at all.”  Taemin sighs and rolls on his back to stare at the ceiling, thumbs tapping absently over his chest.

“You know what you should do?”

“Ask him out,” Taemin mumbles, blowing out a puff of air.

“Go on YouTube.”  He frowns and turns his head to look at her.

“What?”

“YouTube.”

“Why?”

“To learn how to hook up.”

“To…what?”

“To hook up, Taemin.  They have tutorials for everything.  I’m sure they have one to help you out.”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbles, rolling onto his back and tucking his hands beneath his head.  “I’ll quit talking about it.”

“Just ask him.”

“Maybe.  Eunsook’s invited me over for dinner.  She made sure to tell me that Jinki would be there too.”

“Meeting the family already!”

“Well he was Minho’s friend first so…”

“Hey, Taemin?”

“Yeah?”

“Just ask him out.”

~

Eunsook leans against the door frame, an over-sized jersey hanging to the tops of her thighs.  Bare legs flash beneath the material but it still takes her tapping the wall before Minho looks up.

“Wow.”

“Thank you.  Quick question.”  The controller in his fingers drops to the side and the TV turns off.  He leans back and laces his fingers behind his head.

“Ask away.”

“Do I need to seduce you or does offering to ride you like a bronco bull count as foreplay?”  His eyes close and he shakes his head with a smile.

“I’m going to need more seduction than the offer of eight seconds of play.”

“Even if it’s a mind-blowing eight seconds?”

“Seduce me, babe.”  She saunters across the room, tugging at the hem and flashing him a grin.  At the last moment, just as he reaches out to her she throws herself down beside him and cuddles around his arm.

“Taemin’s coming over for dinner tomorrow night.”

“That…that was not a mind-blowing eight seconds, Sook.”

“Just letting you know.  Jinki’s coming too.”

“Everyone’s coming but me…”  She punches him before cuddling in closer.

“You will, I promise.  I’m just telling you while I remember.”

“I’m proud of you for making it through all of August.”

“Thank you.”

“They did start talking though.”

“I know.  Now,” she says, climbing into his lap and playing with his hair, “how about a camel in the desert?”

“As in, you riding me?” he asks, hands slipping around her waist.

“Yup!”

“That makes me thirsty, actually.”

“What, Minho Choi, must I do to get you off this sofa so I can get you off?”  He leans up and gives her a quick kiss.

“A general ‘Let’s have sex Minho’ works.”  Her eyes widen and she licks her lips before leaning in and whispering, “Fuck me, babe” in his ear, giggling at the look on his face when she sits back up.  “I want to have sex while I’m not nauseous and before I get too big and you no longer think I’m hot.”  Minho laughs.

“I’ll always think you’re hot, babe.  Even your freakishly tiny hands are sexy.”  She grabs at the hand at her waist and brings it forward, playing with the fingers and the ring she put on the fourth one four years ago.

“I hope the symbiont has your long, beautiful fingers.  They’re so pretty.”

“Well I hope the symbiont has your sweet soft eyes.”  His empty hand rises to brush back her hair and he leans in to kiss her on the temple.

“I hope the symbiont has your gorgeous long legs,” she replies putting his hand back around her waist and her own arms around his neck.

“I hope the symbiont has your beautiful full lips,” he murmurs, leaning up and kissing her on the mouth.

“Or your lips.  Just as long as the symbiont doesn’t have your freakish child’s smile.”

“Hey!” Minho cries, leaning back, “You love my smile!”

“I do!  Even though it makes you look about 12.”

“Wow.  Now the truth comes out.”

“Speaking of coming,” Eunsook says with a grin, “Kitchen!”  She climbs off his lap and grabs his hand and drags him across the room.

“Wait!  What?!”

“I want to try it in the kitchen,” she reveals, looking around the cramped space.

“…why?”

“We’re going to have a small human soon and there are a few things I want to try before they get here.  Like sex in the kitchen.”  Minho takes a deep breath in and blows another one out.

“OK.  So…how do we do this?”  She looks over at him with a confused frown.

“You want me to explain sex to you?”  He laughs as he takes her hand off his wrist and pulls her close, kissing her as he dances them slowly around the room.

“No,” he murmurs, moving his lips to her neck.  “Where are we going to do this?  The table?  A chair?  The floor?  Counter?”

“Counter,” she murmurs back, stepping backward and pulling him with her, shrieking in delight when he begins to tickle his way down to the floor.

~

Taemin watches Jinki hand Eunsook the bottle of non-alcoholic wine and belatedly wonders if he shouldn’t have been bringing a gift when he’d gone over to Jinki’s all those times.    Jinki catches his eye and gives a little wave before Minho catches him up in a hug/handshake combo that leaves them in laughter.

“So,” Jinki begins as they sit down, “how did you two meet?”

“They ditched me at a concert,” Taemin answers with a mocking pout.

“He asked us how we met,” Eunsook retorts, a bit of lettuce speared on her fork, “Not what happened to you when we met.”  Taemin turns to Jinki.

“At a concert.  Where they ditched me.”

“Ah.”  Jinki nods solemnly while Eunsook scoffs.

“You were there with your boyfriend.  And you had a ride.”

“He wasn’t my boyfriend yet-”, Taemin argues.

“He was so your boyfriend.”

“-and the ride was his brother.”

“Pfft.  You like Junmyeon.  It’s not like you got left behind with Junghee or Gwiboon.”

“Like Junghee would have let me go.”

Eunsook points to herself proudly.

“The cool sister.”

“Who ditched me.”  He turns then to catch Jinki stifling a smile with a drink.  “You know how they have floor mats for cars?  Like the ones you have in the front seat?”  He puts the glass down and nods.

“Yes.”

“And you know how they have those plastic covers for sofas?”

“I’ve seen them on TV but never in-person.”

“To this day, I’m not sure how he got them on there but his entire back seat was covered with the stuff.  Junmyeon is a great guy but back then he was…uptight is putting it nicely and riding in his car was…unpleasant.”

“But easy to clean if you made a mess,” Jinki points out.  Taemin grunts.

“So, basically, I went to a concert with my friends, my sister came to pick me up, she and Minho met, and I didn’t see either of them again for three days.”  Minho starts choking and Eunsook slaps the table in mortification.

“It wasn’t three days!”  Taemin tilts his head and crosses his arms, eyes narrow and a wicked grin on his lips.

“The concert was on a Friday night and I didn’t see you again until Monday morning.”  Eunsook glances at Minho who has finally caught his breath.

“…that’s only two days.”

“It was for five minutes.  You didn’t spend the night in your own bed again until Tuesday.  You’re lucky dad didn’t notice.”  The tension in Eunsook’s shoulders melts and she chuckles.

“Not actually a good thing, you know.”  Taemin shrugs and spears a bit of beef onto his fork.

“Turned out well.”  Out of the corner of his eye he catches his sister smiling at her husband.  She elbows him and he leans down to kiss her forehead, another to her lips.

“Yeah, it did.”  He’s only just swallowed when she turns to the two of them and asks, “So how did you two lovebirds meet?”  A bubble of air catches in his throat and he’s coughing and chugging water while Jinki calmly rubs his back and Minho sighs.

“I was doing laundry.  Minho asked if he could borrow a quarter.”  Taemin blinks three times before he realizes what’s just happened and when he looks over at Eunsook he’s thrilled to see that she’s figured it out too.  Minho’s hiding his own smile behind a fist.  “Not quite the torrid tale of teenage trysts as your meeting,” Jinki continues with a shrug, pulling his hand back, “But I did get a worthy opponent on the court so I count it a win.”  The calmest smile rests on his lips and Taemin laughs in delight.

“At lunch freshman year.  I had known Junmyeon through Jongin but never met Minho.  On our first day of high school, he and Junmyeon, who were seniors then, came over to say ‘hi’.”

“So,” Jinki says, eyes gleaming as he points at Taemin, “Food.”  He points to himself, “Folding,” and then, pointing to Eunsook with a grin, “Fucking.”  Taemin’s gripping his arm in laughter and Minho’s crying, “Hey!” indignantly even as Eunsook buries her face in his shoulder, laughing.

“And now I get all three,” she says, looking up with tears in her eyes.  She purses her lips and Minho kisses her quickly, patting her head and then glaring at Jinki with a smile.

“May you be so lucky,” he says, raising his brows and glancing at Taemin.  “You too.”  Jinki raises his glass in salute and Taemin quickly follows suite, laughing through the rest of their dinner with his sister, brother-in-law, and the man whose hand he wants to hold again.

~

“Who’s Jongin?  An ex?”  Jinki asks from the kitchen, back to Taemin and the edge of something in his tone.  Taemin had followed him down to his apartment and sat now on his sofa while Jinki made them some iced tea.

“Yes.”

“Ah.  Childhood sweethearts?”  The smile is warm over Jinki’s shoulder, a soft tease in his raised brow.

“Yeah,” Taemin replies, picking at the upholstery beneath him.  “Seven years.”

“Seven?”  The tease turns to confusion and Taemin wishes he hadn’t said so much.  They were having such a lovely time.  He doesn’t want to talk about the man he had with the man he wants.

“We broke up in February.”

“Oh.”  The edge is back.  “So, that’s why you moved here?”

“No,” he says with a shake of his head.  “I mean yes, that’s why I moved.  No, that’s not why I moved here.  I really did move here because it’s cheaper on this side of town.”

“And your sister is too,” Jinki adds with a wink.

“Ha!  Yeah.”

“A good breakup?  Or do I need to go egg his new place with you in the dead of night?”

“No, no,” Taemin answers with a laugh, “No, nothing like that.  We knew at the same time that it was over.  We just looked at each other one day, burst out laughing, and in unison said, ‘We need to break-up’.”

“Really?”

“No,” Taemin says, abruptly, suddenly sure that he doesn’t want to lie to Jinki.  “We agreed but Jongin said it first.  He knew before I did.  We’ve known each other for ten years so I knew there was no changing his mind; he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it.  The worst part of it all was that I didn’t want to.  Change his mind, I mean.  I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this man and suddenly I was just relieved that it was over.”

“Wow.”

“We’re still friends.  We’ll always be friends.”  He stops to take the glass Jinki hands him and stares at it, thinking, while Jinki sits down across from him.  “I would be mad if we weren’t friends.  I would be furious.  Because for Jongin and I to not be friends would mean that something horrible happened.  Something I can’t even imagine.  It would be one of the worst things that could happen to me, to completely lose Jongin.”  He looks up then, watching Jinki watching him.  “He’s my friend, he’ll always be my friend.  And I want to grow old with him.  Just not as a partner, you know?  No bills to pay, dogs to adopt, fights over what color to paint the living room.”

“You would really fight over that?”

“Eggplant is apparently not appropriate.”

“Eggplant?” Jinki asks, skeptical.  “For a living room wall?”

“What’s wrong with eggplant?”

“Couldn’t you just hang curtains that color and leave the walls white?  Maybe frame some posters.”

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side.”  Jinki just smiles and shrugs.  “Anyway, I want to see Jongin as an old man and point and laugh at his silly dentures and hide his cane and Asper-cream.”

“A true friend.”

“Absolutely.  But I don’t want to hold his hand getting there.  That’s how I knew.”

“That’s…wow.  That’s a good description.”  He nods absently and tucks his feet beneath his knees.  Suddenly Taemin realizes what he’s just done and groans.

“We were having such a good time!  Sorry.  Do you have a sad love story you’d like to share?”  To his relief, Jinki laughs.

“A boyfriend from college.  We’re friends too.  My Jongin, I guess.”

“Is it easy?  Being friends with an ex?”  Jinki sighs and looks at the ceiling.

“It’s weird, sometimes.  Especially at first.  So many little impulses that aren’t OK anymore.  Like hands at hips or kisses on the neck, those types of things.  Jonghyun and I though...we used to get together sometimes, when we were both single.  Just companionship, really.  If you’re lucky, there’s a trust there and an intimacy that keeps the friendship going, even when the relationship is over.”  He looks back down, eyes softer than before.  “It’s always best to be friends first.  The best relationships start that way.”  Taemin can feel his cheeks flush.  He nods quietly and takes another sip.

An hour later he waves good-bye as he steps out into the hall, hope warming his cheeks as he heads to the stairs.

~

Eunsook doesn’t have time to answer the knock at her door before it opens, all three sisters bursting in.

“Eunsook!”

“Hey, Junghee.”

Junghee slips her purse off her shoulder onto the couch with her wide brimmed straw hat soon to follow, the pink ribbon wrapped across a perfect match to the sun dress with a flared skirt she’s chosen for the day.

“Where’s the child?” Gwiboon asks as she drops her pumps at the door, a pair of gray-lavender heels that contrast sharply with the emerald pencil skirt she’s chosen.  A disgruntled Minjung follows close behind in a burgundy maxi dress and Eunsook turns her back to stifle a chuckle.

“With his boyfriend,” she replies nonchalantly, stirring the soup with a wooden spoon.

“What’s his name again?  Jimin?”  It’s Minjung who asks, kicking off her sandals and heading toward the sofa.

“Jinki,” Eunsook corrects, turning to check on the rice cooker.  The dish towel is soft at her fingers as she moves about the kitchen.  “Jimin is one of his friends from school.”

“Oh right, right.”

“So, how’s that going?”  Junghee leans against the counter across from Eunsook, a frozen margarita she’s pulled from the freezer in her hand.  Gwiboon sips on her own from where she’s draped herself across Eunsook’s new rocker.

“Seems to be going well.  Did I tell you that Jinki plays basketball with Minho?”

“I think so,” Minjung answers from where she’s splayed out on the sofa.  “Is he any good?”  Eunsook tosses a look of incredulity over her shoulder as she opens up a cupboard to grab a bowl.

“I don’t watch to keep score, Minnnie.  I watch for the sake of seeing my husband all sweaty and panting.”  A wiggle of her eyebrows earns a collective groan that only makes her laugh harder.  “But probably, since Minho keeps playing.  That’s how we met, sort of.  It started out with just small chat in the laundry alcove and then one day Jinki was shooting hoops by himself and Minho asked if he could join.  After that it was a pretty regular thing.  Shooting hoops while they ran laundry.”

“OK but,” Gwiboon starts, shifting in her seat so that her feet are tucked beneath her, “Taemin doesn’t play.  Or at least doesn’t play well.  So, what do they do?”

“You’re asking me what our brother does with his boyfriend?”

“If it were anything serious you would have told us by now.”  Eunsook frowns as she turns off the stove.

“They’re not actually dating, in any traditional sense.  I don’t think they’ve even held hands much less kissed, much less had sex.  So, I might be wrong about it.  But Taemin looks at Jinki like…I don’t know.  Like he’s in love.  I’m not sure what’s holding him back, honestly.  And Jinki…he’s hard to read.  And I haven’t known him that long.  Minho’s the one who’s friends with him, really.  But when he told Jinki he should ask Taemin out he didn’t argue.  And now they hang out a lot, text.  They’ve even go grocery shopping for god’s sake.”

“So, what are you doing about it?”  Eunsook looks up to Junghee’s raised brow, glancing into the living room where the other two are watching expectantly.

“What?”

“Oh, come on, Sook,” Gwiboon says as she rolls her eyes.  “We all know you have something planned.”

“Minho wants me to leave it alone and just let them be together.”  Minjung bursts out laughing.

“Since when has Minho been able to stop you from doing anything?”

“He can,” Eunsook retorts with a smile, “He just doesn’t usually.  This time, though, he was pretty persuasive.”  She turns around and leans up against the counter.  “I just want him to be happy.  And being with Jinki makes him happy but I think there’s more there.  Something extra.  Maybe I’m wrong, though.  So yeah, I’m not doing as much as I want.  Just inviting Jinki over for dinner once.”

“Did you invite him for dinner tonight?” Minjung asks.

“No, Minho didn’t think it would be a good idea.  And Taemin looked absolutely terrified when I mentioned it.  I don’t think he’s ready for his crush to meet his sisters.”

“I don’t see why not,” Gwiboon scoffs, “We’re a perfectly lovely group.”  Junghee snorts.

“Maybe next month for the pumpkin patch,” Eunsook replies.  “Though that’s more for me because I won’t be able to carry anything by then.”  Eunsook looks down to where her hands are absently rubbing over her expanded waist.  “The symbiont will be too big.”  Junghee reaches out and rubs her palm over her sister’s tummy.

“Hurry up, little one.  We’re excited to see you and spoil you and make Umma regret letting any of us baby-sit.”  She laughs when Eunsook shoves her playfully and takes the plate handed to her, covering it with rice.   “You’re going to be a great mom, you know that right?”

“No.  But I have hope.”  Junghee stops putting food on her plate and looks over at Eunsook, watching quietly.  Eunsook smiles weakly and leans into the hug she finds herself wrapped in, her younger sister’s head on her shoulder.  Junghee’s arms are strong and warm and Eunsook finds herself sniffling when she feels a kiss in her hair.

“You are.  Taemin’s a testament to that.”  Eunsook scoffs as she leans back up, finger dabbing at her eyes and Junghee’s hands at her shoulders.

“Taemin?”

“He runs to you.  He always runs to you.”  Eunsook scoffs again, glancing over at the other two who she’s surprised to see are nodding.

“He didn’t run to me.  He barely moved across town.”  Gwiboon snorts.

“How many complexes do you think there are here, Eunsook?” Minjung asks.  “Of all the complexes he could have moved into he moved into the one you live in.”  Eunsook glances back at Junghee who’s raising a brow and shrugging.

“That hardly means-”

“Eunsook it’s OK,” Junghee says with a laugh, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and squeezing.  “It’s good even.  It was just an example.  Look at the three of us.  Traveling across the country and squeezing into your tiny apartment just so we can be together for Chuseok.”

“You’re the one who wanted to eat in!”  Junghee laughs and kisses her cheek.

“What I’m saying is that you’re a good sister and you’ll be a good mom.”

“Just good?” Eunsook teases.

“Adequate,” Gwiboon chips in from the living room, grabbing her arm in an exaggerated show of pain when Minjung smacks her.

~

It’s not until he’s in the apartment, two sets of eyes and a disinterested pair of sunglasses on him, that Taemin remembers Jinki had told him he was having family over as well.  The impulse to see Jinki before he was trapped in Eunsook’s apartment with his sisters had overridden that bit of information and he hadn’t even messaged before he ran down the stairs.

“Oh.  I…”  The woman with the sunglasses laughs and taps at the man beside her.

“Who is it?”

“Hey, Taemin,” Jinki says with a smile.  He’s in his chair and he motions for Taemin to come in.

“The famous Taemin?” the woman squeals “I finally get to put a voice with the name!  I’m Taeyeon and this is Kibum.  My seeing eye dog.”

“Uh…”  He looks in confusion at the man sitting beside Taeyeon who huffs and crosses his arms.

“She’s saying I’m her bitch,” he says with irritation, bow lips pursed and a scarred eyebrow raised.

“Oh…uh…”

“And letting you know that I’m blind and not just extra fashionable.”  The sunglasses covering her face are wiggled up and down making the pastel rainbow-infused braid over her shoulder rise and fall.

“Hi,” Taemin replies before turning to Jinki.  “Sorry, I forgot you had company.”

“It’s just us,” Taeyeon interjects, hand now fallen to Kibum’s knee.  “Do you want to join us for dinner?  Jinki’s buying.”

“Hey!”

“You’re the oldest and it’s your godson’s birthday.”  Jinki just scoffs.

“Happy birthday to your son,” Taemin adds, wrist now warming beneath his fingers.

“Thanks.  The squirt turns three today.  I’m in denial.”

“My sister’s pregnant right now.  The symbiont is scheduled to make their appearance in February.”

“Wow!  So, she’s about four months now?  A good time.  Less nausea and you can still get comfortable.  Horny as fuck, though.  And peeing all the time.”  Taemin cringes.

“Ah.”

“That’s not particularly helpful for him, Tae.”  Jinki points out.

“Just because it doesn’t affect him directly doesn’t mean it doesn't affect him at all.  And he needs to know these things so he can be a help to her during this time.  Keep an eye out for the bathrooms and any seating.  And having snacks on hand is a good idea, too.”

“OK.  Anything else?”

“Just be ready to fall madly in love.”

“OK.  Thanks.”

“No problem.  So, dinner?  Yes?  No?”

“Oh, my sisters are actually gathering upstairs at Eunsook’s apartment.”

“Sounds fun!”

“You’re welcome to go up there and join the party.  Take my place.”  Taeyeon laughs and Kibum mutters something that makes her laugh even harder.

“You should only send Taeyeon up if you want more trouble when you get back than when you left,” Jinki says from where he sits in the corner, watching Taeyeon before looking back over at Taemin.

“That’s probably true,” she concedes.  “By the way, is there a dad involved?  A mom?  A partner?”

“Her husband.”

“Give him lots of back rubs and encouragement.  He’s going to need it.”  She pats Kibum’s knee and he rubs the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I will,” Taemin replies.  He turns to Jinki then with an awkward smile and apologizes for his abrupt arrival.  “I should have texted first.  I’ll let you get back to your visit.  I should go anyway before one of them tracks me down here.”

“Hey!” Taeyeon calls, just as Taemin begins to turn, “We’re going to karaoke tomorrow night.  Do you want to come?”

“You should join us,” Jinki adds, “Kibum is great at karaoke.”

“Hey!”

“Taeyeon’s OK at it too.”

“Sure,” Taemin answers slowly, glancing at the couple on the sofa and Taeyeon’s smile that somehow makes him nervous, “That sounds fun.”

“We’re going to leave around 7.”

“OK.  See you at 7.”  Jinki stands then, walking him to the door and grabbing his sleeve just as he steps out into the hall.

“Happy Chuseok, Taemin.”

“Happy Chuseok, Jinki.”

He gives a little wave before heading down the hall, smiling as Jinki’s door closes behind him.

~

“Ah!  Pretty boy!”  The door is barely shut before Taemin finds himself twisting in Junghee’s grip, lips scrunching as his face is peppered with lipstick kisses.

“Eunsook!  Help!”  A quick pinching of Junghee’s arms has her releasing him and he runs and hides behind Eunsook standing in the kitchen.  “Ace!” he cries as she pats his hip and laughs.

“It’s ‘Base’ and you know it.”

“Leave the baby alone, Junghee,” Gwiboon calls from the living room.  “Ace was first, it’s what he knows.”

“Fine, fine,” Junghee mutters with a smile before going back to sit at the kitchen table.

“Hi Gwiboon!”  Taemin calls, still hidden behind Eunsook.

“Hey baby.”

“Did Minjung make it?”

“Yes.  She’s on the phone with Jongmi.”

“Good,” Taemin mutters, perching his chin over Eunsook’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah,” Junghee teases, “She’s your favorite, I get it.”

“Whoever feeds him is his favorite, Junghee.  And Minjung promised him steak.”

“Oh, is that your secret?” she asks with a grin.  Eunsook tilts her head in confusion as Gwiboon kicks Junghee’s knee.  There’s a silent exchange between the two that their sister and brother watch from the kitchen and just as Eunsook is about to ask what Junghee means Minjung walks in.

“Minjung!” Taemin cries, not moving from where he stands behind Eunsook in the kitchen.

“Hey Taeminnie.  Junghee try to get you?”

“Yes!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.  Lunch tomorrow?”

“Yes!”

“Good.”  She reaches over Eunsook’s shoulder and Taemin slaps her palm before following her into the living room and sitting next to her on the sofa.  The four start talking and Eunsook watches from the kitchen, still curious as to what Junghee meant.  The timer dinging behind her catches her attention and by the time the pie is out of the oven she’s forgotten what she was going to ask.

~

Taemin shifts in front of the mirror, the hoops in his ears shining in the harsh vanity lights, shirt tugged beneath his fingers.  It’s a simple outfit but it’s the third one he’s put together in the last half hour.  An attempt to look good while looking at ease, sticking out enough that he didn’t stick out too much.  There’s no reason to be nervous; he just is.  Going to karaoke with Taeyeon and Kibum is like meeting Jinki’s family, they’re his people just like Eunsook and Minho are Taemin’s.  And as much as he’d like to make a good impression he’s not sure how: The last time he met the family of a crush he was twelve.  He sighs and tugs at his shirt one last time before he grabs his keys and heads out the door.

Jinki drives them there and they find Taeyeon and Kibum waiting for them at a booth, Kibum waving and patting Taeyeon’s shoulder.

“Ah!  The handsome voice!” she calls out.  “Nice to hear you again.”

“Hey.”

“Are you ready to get sloppy drunk and make a fool of yourself?”

“I-” he glances at Jinki who only shakes his head.

“You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to.  Making a fool of yourself, however, is encouraged and somewhat inevitable.  Especially with Taeyeon here.”  Taeyeon nods proudly behind her sunglasses.

“Alright.”

“Do you want anything?” Jinki asks, fingertips at Taemin’s elbow.

“Um, I’m not a big drinker.  I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”

“A Roy Rogers then.”

“A what?”

“Trust me,” Jinki says with a chuckle, “You’ll like it.”  Taeyeon snorts as Jinki heads for the bar with Kibum.

Taemin sits down and glances around the room, half-empty and pretty quiet.  The couple up on stage are off-key and having a blast.  He turns back and catches a glimpse of a design on Taeyeon’s wrist.

“Is that a tattoo?”

“Yes,” she replies, a finger with a beaded ring rubbing over the markings that he’s just now noticed are raised.

“It’s so unique.”  Taeyeon laughs and taps her wrist.

“It’s Braille.”

“Oh!  Wow.  That’s amazing.  What does it say?”

“Francesca.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

“She was a lovely girl.”  Taemin nods for a few moments before he realizes what she’s said.  He begins to ask what she means “was” when Jinki and Kibum return to the table with their drinks.

“Are you ready to sing or do you want to get some liquid courage first?”

“I’m ready.”

“Yes!  Come on, Taemin!” Taeyeon cries as she struggles out of the booth.  Kibum takes her hand and Taemin quickly steps beside her so that she can slip her arm through his.  “Let’s show these old men how it’s done!”  She squeals as Kibum smacks her bum when they pass.

They make a surprisingly good duo, their tones matching and he hates to leave the stage but the next pair are eager to have their chance.  After that the four take turns singing duets and solos, Taemin shocked when Jinki opens his mouth and the room goes silent.

“Amazing, isn’t he?” Taeyeon whispers.  “I absolutely love it when he sings.”

“Yeah…”

It’s Kibum’s turn after Jinki and he makes Taemin join him on stage.  Taeyeon rests her head against Jinki’s shoulder and whispers “I approve.”  He laughs, eyes still on Taemin.

“I’m so glad to hear it.”

“Ask him out!  Maybe it’ll work out and maybe it won’t but love is what gets us through the day.  It’s what keeps us alive.  And not just romantic love, all loves.  Some people love solitude, some people love puzzles, some people love women, and some people love people.  You love Taemin.  If there’s even a chance with him, you need to take it because pieces of you will begin to die if you wait.  And imagine the life you could lead if you become bold enough to take chances.  Real chances.  Not ‘I teach 5-year-olds with shoulder length hair and tattoos chances.”

“I also eat your cooking.”

“Fuck you, my cooking is delicious.”

“At least I’ve never been poisoned.”

“Exactly.  Just ask him out.  Or at least bring him to karaoke again.  That boy can sing.”

“Yeah, he really can.  Also,” Jinki adds, moving Taeyeon’s half-empty glass away, “I’m cutting you off.”

“Whhhhyyyy?” Taeyeon whines, shaking his arm but not lifting her head.

“Because you’re drunk.  No more for you, I’m not sending you home to my godson anything past tipsy.”  Taeyeon nods against his shoulder, fingers still gripping his sleeve.

On the way back, Taemin watches Jinki watching the road before looking out the windshield.

“Thanks for taking me.  I had a lot of fun.”

“Taeyeon wants you to join us again.  She says your voice is really nice.”

“Oh.  That’s nice of her to say.”

“She’s right.  You should join us again.  And you have a really nice voice.”

“Thanks.  Yours isn’t too shabby either.”  Jinki laughs and Taemin bites his lip with a grin, watching the lights of the city pass by as they head home.

~

“Burrito me.”

Minho looks up to find his wife stumbling toward him from the bedroom.  He tosses his phone aside and stands up, pulling the gray fleece blanket folded over the back of the sofa with him.

“Bad day?” he asks as he tucks the blanket over her shoulders.

“No,” Eunsook replies, gripping a bit of the blanket with one hand, “Just not that great.  I’m exhausted and I need to be burritoed.”  Minho nods and begins wrapping the blanket up around her as tightly as he can.

“If you’re the filling in a burrito what are you?  Chicken?  Beef?  Pork?”  His knees bend and she leans back into his arms, kicking her feet a little when he picks her up.

“What about beans?” she murmurs.

“You’re definitely not a bean!”  One knee presses against a sofa cushion as he carefully nudges the corner pillow back up.

“Why?  What’s wrong with beans?  Why are you anti-bean?”  Slowly, he sits down with her in his arms, tucking the pillow under her head and rocking her gently.  “They’re full of protein and fiber.  A good food.”

“My wife is a wondrous specimen,” he replies, kissing her forehead.  “Soft skin and juicy delights.”  Eunsook snorts in his lap.

“Did you really just say ‘juicy delights’?”

Nodding proudly, he adds, “You’re a tomato.”

“A tomato?”

“A tomato.”

A pause lingers, and then the subtle twitch of Eunsook’s shoulders from within the blanket’s folds.

“OK.”  Minho looks down, incredulous and a little concerned.

“That quick?”

“You won me over with ‘juicy delights’.”  He laughs and rubs her back.  “Also, I didn’t really want to be compared to the flesh of slain beasts or musical fruit.”

“Ha!  I could have said cheese.  Oh!  You ‘re cheese!”

“Too late, no take backs.”

“My little cheddar to make it better.”  Eunsook grunts as Minho kisses her head again.  She snuggles in closer and he listens to her breathing, to the jokes she’s not telling, and to the unnatural quiet that means something’s not right.  He tucks her hair over her ear and hopes that it’s something he can help her with.  If not, he’ll hold his little burrito and listen.

“What’s bothering you?”

“Junghee said I’m Taemin’s favorite.”

“Ridiculous.  I’m Taemin’s favorite.”

“What if I am, though?” Eunsook asks, frowning.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes.  He can’t always run to me, especially now.

“It’s not like he’s a child who needs his hand held.  He’s a grown man.  You had a crisis over it less than six months ago.”  Eunsook scoffs and closes her eyes.

“This is different.”

“Do you want me to suggest that it might be hormones or would that be a bad choice?”

“It might be hormones, actually.  It’s just…I never thought of it before but they all seemed so sure about it.  So, am I just that unaware?”

“No, babe.  You’re not.  Taemin’s just one way with everyone and none of it the same.”

“You’re doing the finger tap you do when you lie.”

“I can’t believe that’s my tell.  But it shows that you do pay attention.  You know that he runs to you.  You like it but it makes you feel guilty too.  And now that there’s going to be a person who needs you more you’re afraid you’re going to hurt Taemin when you can’t be there for him.”  Eunsook bites her lip and nods.

“He’ll be OK, right?  He’ll be OK.”

“He’ll be fine.  He’s got four sisters who love him, a brother-in-law who protects him from them, friends who’ll encourage him to do stupid things, and parents who have given up trying to get him to behave.  That’s a lot of support.”  Eunsook shifts again so that she’s looking up at her husband.

“You are going to be the most amazing father.”

“You are going to be an amazing mother.”

“It’s weird.  I’m not freaked out at all.  Or at least not as much.  My vision doesn’t white out at the sides when I think about being a mom.  There’s this little bundle of goo that’s going to grow up to be a person who’ll tell me they hate me and mean it and I’m so excited to meet them that I keep crying.”  Her lips brush against Minho’s chest and she looks up with watery eyes.  “The symbiont is wreaking havoc with everything.”  Minho kisses her head and frowns sadly.

“Sorry.”

“I should have pimped you out and gotten you a baby mama to get that seed spread.”  Minho sighs with a smile and kisses her hair, letting their foreheads rest against each other.

~

“For the love of all that is sacred, please come with me!  I don’t want to spend five hours in a field alone with my sister looking at pumpkins.”

Taemin had burst in again, this time with a text that had arrived three seconds before Jinki’s door flew open.  He’s at the stove and he doesn’t turn around when he asks, “That bad huh?”

The sound of Taemin flopping on his sofa is followed by a low moan that has him chuckling as he picks up the plates with their dinner and turns around.  He places them on the table, grabs a pair of drinks from the fridge, and then sits down.  He’s two bites in when Taemin wanders over and takes a seat beside him.

“What they cutely call ‘nesting’ I’d describe as ‘a shrew with five minds who cries if the plates don’t line up perfectly’.  I’m honestly beginning to think that my sister cheated on Minho and now carries the spawn of Satan.”

“You know Satan punishes bad people, right?” Jinki asks as he answers Taemin’s wordless plea and hands him the steak sauce.  “Administer of justice and righter of wrongs.  A super hero, really.”

“Are you actually defending Satan?”  Jinki shrugs.

“You’re the one who suggested that your sister laid down in unholy alliance with the devil to conceive a malevolent offspring.”  Taemin lets his fork clatter to his plate as he buries his head in his hands.

“Just would you please come along?  Please?”

“Do they have cider?”  He looks up at Jinki, brows furrowed.

“What?”

“A lot of these patches have cider and snacks, treats to buy.”

“No idea.  Just ask Eunsook when we go.”

“The ‘She Beast’?”  Taemin snorts.  “You ask.  You’re the one who wants me to come along and be trapped in a field in the middle of nowhere as a buffer between you and your sister.  A field full of giant blobs of orange fruit that will serve no purpose other than as grotesquely rotting decor that does nothing but remind us of the slow descent into darkness and cold.”  He bites his lip when he realizes that he’s just quoted his ex-boyfriend while eating dinner with Taemin who’s looking at him in confusion.

“Pumpkins aren’t fruit.”  Jinki tilts his head, himself confused.

“Yes, they are.”

“No, they’re not.”

“Yes, they are.”

“No, they’re not.”

Instead of continuing the argument, Jinki stands up and grabs his phone from the counter.  He taps the screen a few times and then points it in Taemin’s direction.

“Well.  I’ll be damned.”

“Which’ll be fine since your niecephew is a direct inheritor to the throne.”  Taemin snorts as Jinki puts his phone away and sits back down.

“I hardly think my sister is the first to succumb to the charms of the prince of darkness in the last few thousand years.”

“You’re assuming it was she who was seduced,” Jinki retorts with a wiggle of his brow.

“Ew don’t…just…ew.  Don’t talk about my sister being a seductress.  Just come with me to the dirty field with giant orange fruit and help me survive a day spent with my pregnant sister and the man who made her that way.”

“If Minho’s there why do you need me?”

“I don’t need you, I want you,” Taemin mutters as he shoves a bite into his mouth.  He’s halfway through chewing when his eyes widen and Jinki just watches with a smile as he grabs at his drink.

“Will there be snacks?”

“Snacks?” Taemin chokes out.

“For the ride.  There and back.”

“Fucking hell, Jinki, I will make you goddamn dinner afterward!  Just please, please, please do not make me ride in that car alone!”

“OK,” he replies, waiting until Taemin begins eating again to add, “Eunsook promised lunch when she asked so now I get fed twice.”  Taemin stares at him, cup in hand.

“What.  The.  Hell.”

“And snacks.”  Jinki grins and toasts with the food on his fork before putting it his mouth, eyes closed and a little hum as he chews.  Taemin watches a moment more before he sighs with a smile, muttering, “And snacks” before taking a bite of his own.

~

“Will you please stop inviting Jinki to everything?” Taemin hisses to his sister as Minho drags Jinki off.  They’re heading toward a stand covered in pumpkins painted with the symbols of national sports teams.

“Well if you would invite him yourself I wouldn’t have to,” Eunsook hisses back, lip bitten as she scans the field.

“If you wouldn’t invite him yourself I could!”  She barely looks at him before turning away again.

“Pfft.”

“I’m serious.  I went over to invite him to the pumpkin patch and, after he wrangled dinner out of me, discovered that you had beat me to it.  How am I supposed to get laid if you keep cock-blocking me?!”  He flushes at what he’s just said and frowns when Eunsook turns to him with narrowed eyes.

“Oh, sweetie,” she says, patting his cheek, “I’m sorry.  Though honestly, I don’t give a fuck at all at this moment since you’re niecephew is sitting on my goddamn bladder and I’ve yet to see any restroom signs.  But be assured that your whining has been noted and I’ll get back to you when I can find it within me to give a damn.”

“If I take you to the bathroom will you be less caustic?”

“Definitely won’t be more.”

“It’s over there.  I made sure to ask where to find it when we got here.” Taemin stretches out his hand and Eunsook takes it with surprise.

“You asked where the restrooms are?”

“Taeyeon told me to keep an eye out for you, that you would need to know where they are.”

“Jinki’s Taeyeon?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s sweet of her.”

“Yeah.  Here you go.  Augh!”  The kiss to his cheek catches him by surprise and he’s wiping it off with the heel of his palm when the door closes behind her.  A smiling Eunsook is who he’s met with when she comes back out.

“Sorry I yelled at you when you were being unbearably annoying.”

“You should be.”

“I am.”  She slips her arm through his and hugs him tight while they walk back over to where Minho and Jinki now stand with a cup in each hand.  “You should hold his hand.”

“Whose hand?”

“Jinki’s.”

“I…”  Eunsook abruptly stops walking and Taemin nearly trips from the loss of momentum.

“Taemin too many people die without ever taking the simple step of asking a question or holding a hand.  Physically or emotionally, spiritually or psychologically.  They atrophy.  The opposite of action is inaction and that’s how people die.  By doing nothing.”  Taemin whistles, taken aback.

“That’s pretty dramatic, Sook.”

“I’m pretty pregnant, Taem.  And I don’t like seeing my baby brother in pain.”

“I’m your only brother,” he reminds her.

“And I want you to be happy.  And I want you to be brave enough to try.”  The dirt is silent beneath their shoes as they head toward the other two.  Taemin watches Jinki talking to Minho.

“OK,” he says, eyes still on the pair.

“OK?”

“How can I argue with the mother of my niecephew and my favorite sister?”

“Whoever feeds you is your favorite sister.”

“And you provided my last meal.  So, you’re my favorite.”  Eunsook ruffles his hair and takes his arm again.

“You really need to ask him out.”

“I’m building up to it.”

“Well get there sooner.  And I won’t invite him to anything more without asking you first.  OK?”

“OK.  Thanks.”

“There you are!” Minho calls out.  The two begin walking toward the pair, both with a cup in each hand.  Eunsook takes one from Minho with a kiss and Taemin another from Jinki with a quick “Thanks”.

“Turns out they do have cider.  And other treats.”  He wiggles his eyebrows and Taemin hits him playfully on the shoulder, letting his hand linger.

“We’re going to go look at pumpkins,” Eunsook says, looking at Taemin pointedly.  “You and Jinki should go see if there’s anything you want.”  He glances at Jinki before nodding and they head off down the hill together with their cups at their lips.

~

Jinki chuckles into his last sip, the cup then stuck beneath Taemin’s half-empty one.  He’d barely caught it before Taemin had run towards an enormous pumpkin and threw his arms around it crying “Oh my god it’s the Great Pumpkin!  Can we get it?!”

“Taemin that pumpkin is larger than the two of us combined and I do not care how many times you’ve seen ‘It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’ that is not the same one.”

“But-”

“Are you just not aware that they charge by the pound?  Or do you have a secret cache of cash to spend on a pumpkin that won’t even fit in the car?”  Taemin looks down at the pumpkin beneath him and frowns.

“We could rent a truck…”

“We could get almost forty steaks for the same price.”  Jinki waits, cup in one hand and the other in his pocket as Taemin slowly makes up his mind.  The pout on his face nearly has Jinki breaking resolve and logic and buying the enormous pumpkin.

“Fine.  At least take our picture?”  Jinki nods and pulls out his phone, taking a quick set of pics of Taemin pressed up against the pumpkin.  His hair shines in the autumn sun and his jeans fit a little too well against his thighs.  Jinki licks his lips and calls out “Got it!”, handing over the double cup when he joins him.  He takes it quietly and Jinki follows behind, upset that Taemin’s upset and not sure how to help him not be.  They’re halfway down the hill when Taemin turns around with a grin and adds, “I expect all forty steaks!”  Jinki laughs, relieved.

“All at once?”

“No.  Just…together.  Deal?”

“Deal.”    Taemin nods and then turns to continue down to the patches.  Jinki watches for a moment before quickening his steps so that he can follow at his side.

“I think your sister has the hots for me.”  Taemin bursts out laughing and shoves him on the shoulder.

“She’s five months pregnant!”

“I don’t discriminate.”

“You won’t be able to if Minho catches you making passes.  You won’t be able to do anything from six feet under.”

“Hey.  She’s the one trying to seduce me.  I can’t believe you’re not going to defend my honor.”

“You want to provoke my pregnant sister go ahead.  Just let me know how to contact your next of kin to send the condolence card.”

~

Taemin taps his foot and rubs his wrist as he asks, “Anything more?” with a hint of desperation.  Eunsook had waited until they were back at the apartments to ask Minho if he’d drive across town to fulfill a craving that had hit just as they pulled into the parking lot.  Now Jinki finds himself with Taemin and Eunsook and it’s clear that Taemin doesn’t want to be there.

“If Jinki could cut the tops off and you scrape the guts out that would be great.  Just don’t shove them in my face this year,” she grumbles as she goes to lie down on the sofa, eyes closing.  “I’m not sure I could handle it.”

“Don’t you want to wait until Minho gets back and let him do it?”

“No.”  Taemin glowers at his sister before turning to Jinki with a shrug.  Another thirty minutes pass before Minho shows up, Eunsook now fast asleep.

“Thanks,” he whispers, tilting his head at the pumpkins.  “Do you want some of the seeds?  Eunsook likes to roast them.”

“Sure, sounds great.”

Out in the hallway, Taemin breathes a sigh of relief before turning to Jinki with a smile.

“So, dinner.  Where do you want to go?”

“You said you would make me dinner.”

“Does it count as making it if I put it out on plates in my apartment?”  Taemin looks hopeful at the prospect but Jinki only shakes his head.

“No.”

“I’m just not good at cooking.  Anything.”

“The deal was for you to make dinner,” Jinki reminds him.  He leans in with a grin and murmurs, “Never said it had to be good.”  Taemin lightly punches his arm as he laughs.

“I hate you so much.”

“I hate you too.”

They’re inside now and Taemin heads toward the kitchen while Jinki sits at the table.

“Sandwiches OK?  I have turkey.”

“Cannibalism.”  Taemin watches him blankly before narrowing his eyes.

“Then I better not make you any ham.”  Jinki laughs proudly, watching Taemin pulling ingredients out of the fridge.

“What are you going to be for Halloween?” Taemin calls from the kitchen.  Jinki watches him do a 180 before pulling the bread off the top of the refrigerator where it sits amongst a small army of cereal boxes.

“Not sure yet.  What are you planning on?”

“I wanna gun.  I wanna be a soldier.”

“A sexy soldier?” Jinki asks with a grin.

“As long as I can carry a gun.”  Taemin quickly mimics shooting a machine gun before grabbing his one knife out of the drawer.

“We could do a couple’s costume,” Jinki suggests calmly, “How about Romeo and Juliet?”

“No way,” Taemin replies emphatically, shaking the knife at Jinki.  “Do you have any idea how many times my sisters put me in a wig when we were kids?!”

“Taem.”

“Don’t even get me started on the skirts!”

“Taem.”

“Sparkly pink mini, Jinki!” Taemin cries, still waving the knife.  “Sparkly pink!”

“Taem.”

“That was Gwiboon.  Junghee crinkled my hair and put liner on me.”

“Taem.”

“She messed it all up,” he grumbles as he begins slapping mayonnaise on four slices of bread.  “I looked like a drunk clown.”

“Taem.”

“And Minjung!  Put me in a dress with ruffles and my hair in a fucking bow.”  The sandwich meat gets tossed on and mustard smeared over it.

“Taem.”

“Ruffles, Jinki!  Eunsook’s the only one who didn’t dress me up.”  He stops then, knife held in one hand as he looks up.  “Fuck, maybe that’s why she’s my favorite…”

“Taem.”

“What?”

“I was going to be Juliet.”  Taemin takes a deep breath and then frowns.

“What?”

“Me, Juliet.  You, Romeo.”

“Oh.  Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”  Jinki chuckles.  This is not the reaction he had expected and he’s truly enjoying it.

“Because I would check for a breath before I took poison, clearly making me the wiser of the two and thus Juliet.”  Taemin scoffs as he slaps a slice of cheese on to each pile of meat.

“She fell for some loser who crashed her family’s party.”

“At least she had youth on her side.  Romeo was practically grown.”

“That’s right,” Taemin says as he puts the plate in front of Jinki, “Blame the man.”

“Absolutely.”  Jinki takes a bite and makes a big show of enjoying his food.  A bit of the mustard catches on his thumb and he licks it off, catching Taemin catching him.  He’s sitting at the table across from Jinki, his own sandwich in hand.  There’s something Jinki wants to say, something he’s wanted to say, something that hopefully before the night ends he’ll be able to say because all that comes out when he opens his mouth to speak is “Pickles?”  Taemin laughs and stands to grab a jar from the fridge.

“We should go shopping together.  For costumes.  I’m going to pass on being the dude who dies because he didn’t check for a breath.”  He puts the jar down in front of Jinki and stops, realization dawning on him and his fingers still gripping the lid.  “Wait.  Was that…are you serious?”

“Yes, I definitely want pickles.”  The jar is moved from beneath Taemin’s fingers but he still doesn’t sit down, thinking.  He waits for another joke, another tease, another cipher that he has yet to crack Because maybe the message isn’t what he wants.  Maybe he just read that wrong and Jinki didn’t mean everything Taemin heard.  The sudden memory of a warm summer morning puts words in his mouth and he presses both palms to the table as he asks, “No, I mean, are you flirting with me?”

“Yes.”  Taemin stares, stunned.  A war was what he had been prepared to wage, deflection and jokes and maybe half-truths.  Instead Jinki had lain down arms at the first battle cry.  “Have been since we met.  Glad you finally noticed.”  Those damn eyebrows wiggle again though there’s more hesitation than mirth in his smile before it disappears behind a bottle.

Taemin takes a breath and sits down, finger tapping at the table.

“If I kissed you right now,” he asks hesitantly, “what would you do?”

“Would depend on where you kissed me.”  Taemin’s vision bursts as he digs his fists against his closed eyelids.

“For fuck’s sake, Jinki.”

“A kiss on a wrist is a very different thing from a kiss on a nose, Taemin.”  There’s a pressure on his wrist then, familiar fingers pulling one arm away and he lets it, lets the arm fall to the table but he keeps his eyes closed in rebellion.  One by one, the clenched fingers are unbound, stroked and softened by Jinki’s own until Taemin’s hand lays open on the table, a labyrinth patterned over his palm.  He shifts the still-closed fist to the side of his head and leans against it, opening his eyes and watching Jinki watching his hand.  “Your fingers are very handsome, you know.  Though very small.  At least there’s no joke about that, right?”  Taemin scoffs and rolls his eyes, lips pursed.

“At least my fingers are proportional to my palms.”  Though he pouts, Jinki’s fingers never stop massaging Taemin’s hand.

“Words hurt, Taem.”  A shrug is the closest he gets to an apology.  It’s when he begins blowing on Taemin’s palm and fingertips that he finally gets a reaction.

“What the fuck are you doing?  Holy…”  Taemin breathes out and glares at the glint in Jinki’s eyes.  No words are spoken in response, just more cool breaths that are making it harder and harder for him to concentrate.  “Fuck why…”  Chuckling, he sits up and reaches out to brush his fingers through Jinki’s hair.  “You’ve made your point.”  The breaths stop.

“Good.  Though I actually do hope we have to have this conversation again in the future.”

“I can’t see how it could possibly be avoided.”

“Hmm.”  Jinki leans in then, smiles and pauses just inches away from Taemin’s face.  He looks him over, looks at everything, brushes his fingers through Jinki’s hair again.  Their noses brush and he laughs in embarrassment and lust.  So close, so close.  A blink and then Jinki’s smile and he’s leaning in and then-

**“HOLYFUCKINGCHRISTONTHEFUCKINGCROSSJESUSHMOTHER!!!!”**

The chair he’s on flips over and the table bangs against his knee.  He scampers up on top of the counter, clinging to the cabinet doors as his body shakes.  His eyes squeeze shut to the sound of Jinki’s laughter and he grits his teeth to keep from screaming.

“If I were to kiss you right now would I be met with a positive, negative, or neutral response?”  Taemin’s eyes flit across the linoleum as his fingers grip the top of the cabinet doors.

“Surprise since your lips are at least six feet below mine.”

“Well your knee cap is right here,” Jinki smiles as he pats Taemin’s knee, his thumb rubbing over the bone.

“You want the first time you kiss me to be on my knee cap?”

“Anywhere as long as it’s you.”  Taemin scoffs, glancing down at Jinki momentarily before turning back to the floor.

“Get that miscreant out of here and you can kiss whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?”  Taemin snorts when he looks down to find Jinki watching with a sly grin and raised brow.

“Whatever you want.”  Jinki bursts out laughing and shakes his head as he grabs a cup off the counter.  He turns around, bending over and pressing his empty palm to his thigh.

“All right miscreant.  Help a dude out.  If you come out willingly you get the cup.  If you don’t you get the shoe.”  The tiny black spider skitters across the linoleum and Taemin shivers as Jinki covers it with the cup.  He watches from his perch as a plate is slipped beneath the cup and then Jinki and the spider and the plate and the cup disappear into the hall.

The counter is warm beneath his bare feet when Jinki comes back, fists raised in victory.

“The miscreant is no more.”

“What did you do with it?”

“Released it into the wild.”

“So, that it can climb back inside and exact revenge for being unduly dismissed?!”

“No,” Jinki replies with a chuckle, holding on to Taemin’s legs and rubbing his shins with his thumbs.  “I went two blocks east and then one block south and then tossed it over the fence into the yard of that couple that thinks ceramic frogs need to cover every square inch of their yard.”

“The one with the political signs?”

“That’d be the one.”  He holds out his hands and Taemin takes them as he slowly kneels on to the counter.

“Not all heroes wear capes.”

“Though I’m not opposed to them.”  The sound of the heater cuts out and it’s suddenly quiet in the apartment.

“So....”  There is no mistaking the flicker of a smile that passes over Jinki’s eyes though he only shrugs and repeats Taemin’s word

“So.”

“Did you have a place in mind?”

“Several.”

“You can only pick one,” Taemin declares.

“That’s not what you said,” Jinki pouts.

“Didn’t I?”

“You said wherever I wanted.”

“The specific scenario was a first kiss.  You can only have one first kiss.”

“That was never specified.”

“It was most definitely implied.”

“That you inferred it does not mean that it was implied.”

“Well.  Now it’s been stated.”

“Is there a time limit on this kiss?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Lashes flutter as Jinki steps forward, Taemin smiling as he shifts so that his legs hang over the counter.  Jinki steps confidently between them, Taemin’s knees at his hips.  His hands are warm and his fingers soft as he slides them across Taemin’s neck, jaw, and cheeks, thumbs brushing at the apples as Taemin grips the counter.  Their eyes meet and dance, flickering back and forth as their faces grow slowly closer.  A breath flutters across Taemin’s parted lips, a thought unexpressed as he leans down.

The kiss Jinki brushes against his lips is teasing and soft, a fluttering and nothing more.  When he begins to step away Taemin grabs his wrist in protest, a demand muffled and acquiesced to in one deep kiss.  The hand at Jinki’s wrist scrambles up his back and Taemin is clinging in desperation as Jinki’s lips dance with his own.  Jinki tastes like the rain and the sun and a cold pool one early morning in late summer.  When he opens his mouth it’s happiness and home, a deliverance.

Taemin’s kisses are starlight and naps in the sun.  When he opens his mouth it’s home and happiness, a deliverance.  The edge of everything they’d been tapping at has led to a ledge that holds them both.  He wants more, he wants so much.  A breath from Taemin gives him another beat of life and he smiles dreamily when their eyes finally meet.

“Fuck,” Taemin whispers.  Jinki chuckles and kisses the curve of Taemin’s neck, moving slowly up, leaning back and kissing Taemin’s smile.

“Is that an offer?” he teases.  The smile on Taemin’s lips drops but it’s not hesitation or regret or any of the list of things that Jinki never wants to see in his eyes.

“Yeah.”

He blinks and doesn’t move, the new bearer of hesitation.  A thumb rubs absently at Taemin’s hip.

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t…how do people normally say ‘I want to have sex with you?’”  He chuckles again with furrowed brows, amused and confused.

“That’s not…I mean are you sure that you want to right now?  Fifteen minutes ago, you weren’t sure if I was even interested.”

“That’s the point.  I didn’t know what you were thinking.  I know what I am.  And I want you to fuck me, Jinki.”  The wiggle of his brows and the Harley Quinn smile has Jinki laughing and pulling Taemin a little tighter.

“So, we’re going the bad porn route?”

“Is there such a thing as good porn?”  He laughs again and leans forward, another kiss of their lips and then of their foreheads.  He licks his lips and then bites them and then breaks away to look in Taemin’s eyes again and be absolutely certain.

“Maybe we should take it slow, just see where this goes?”

“Wait…what?”  Taemin looks so startled and conflicted.  Jinki realizes his mistake and is quick to kiss the doubt away.

“This moment, just this moment.”  Taemin nods and rests his forehead against Jinki’s.  “We need to go downstairs,” Jinki whispers when they break away.

“What?  Why?”  The look in Jinki’s eyes answers the question before he speaks and Taemin’s nodding and halfway to the door before Jinki even takes a step.

The lights of Jinki’s apartment are left off and he’s only just closed the door when Taemin’s lips are on his again.  The path from the doorway to the bedroom grows progressively dark and it doesn’t help that they’ve both closed their eyes.  Jinki grasps at the table beside his bed and flicks on the small lamp that sits there, barely illuminating the room but taking his breath away by how ethereal Taemin now looks.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, taking Taemin’s playful shove and then the kiss to his lips.  Taemin’s the one to stop and look around, pointing and laughing at the framed posters on the wall.

“So, that’s why!”

“It’s a good look.”

“Someone likes musicals,” he murmurs, glancing over with a grin.  “Rock of Ages”, “Singing in the Rain”, “Catch Me if You Can”, “Bonnie and Clyde”.  Jinki only shrugs before tugging him closer, nipping at his ear.  Suddenly Taemin’s gone and sitting on the bed, leaning back on his elbows with his knees bent.  A flirty smile passes over his lips until Jinki begins to lift his shirt.

“Can I…?” The question stops before it can finish and Jinki chuckles in confusion.

“What?”

“Your shirt.  Can I take it off?”

“You’re not wearing it.”  Taemin looks at him in exasperation and he laughs as he steps forward.  He leans down and kisses Taemin on the head as thin fingers are tucked beneath his shirt.  A glance up is met with a smile and Taemin lifts the soft cotton as Jinki bends down, palms at Taemin’s thighs as the material is tugged up over his shoulders.  When it slips over his hair, Taemin laughs, the long strands bursting out at either side.  Barely a moment has passed between Jinki’s chest and waist being revealed before he is leaning in and kissing Taemin in the most distracting way.  The shirt slips over Jinki’s wrists and Taemin rocks at the shift in pressure as first one hand is lifted and then another.  Jinki turns to toss it across the room.

“Fuck,” Taemin whispers, scrambling to push Jinki down farther so that he can see better.

“Is this a suggestion that I blow you?” Jinki chuckles, head now pressed to Taemin’s thigh.

“Later,” Taemin murmurs, causing Jinki to vibrate with laughter.  “Oh, my god!”

Jinki’s back is covered in an elaborate design that, even upside down, takes Taemin’s breath away.  An empty road leading to low mountains sits beneath a stunning display of stars that the artist who had designed it had managed to give depth to.  Even as he brushes his fingers over it he feels that if he presses too hard he might fall in.

“You like it?”  Taemin had forgotten that Jinki’s head rests in his lap, that he was looking at the back of a man and not a painting.

“It’s so amazing.”  Jinki begins to stand and Taemin presses him back down.

“Wait, I just saw something.”

“The quotes?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, twisting his head to read the script.

“You know you could just let me up.  Then you wouldn’t have to struggle so hard.”

“But then I wouldn’t have your head in my lap.”

“So devious.”  The script is small and lies beneath the sky just above the mountains.

“Be humble, for you are made of earth,” he reads.  “Be bold, for you are made of stars.”

“A proverb.”

“It’s beautiful.”  The fingers holding Jinki slip down to his shoulders and push him back up until they are face to face.  Taemin watches his eyes a moment before brushing back his hair, tucking it over each ear.  He looks up again, moving his fingers up to Jinki’s jaw and kissing his lips.

“There’s more,” Jinki whispers against Taemin’s mouth, chuckling when he’s pushed back down, this time on his back, and his chest is devoured beneath Taemin’s hungry gaze.

“Where?!”  Jinki raises his left arm and Taemin tilts his head to see.  “Holy fuck!” he cries, bursting into laughter at the sight of a dragon design.  The scales shift with every breath and the dragon’s mouth ends just beneath his armpit, the hair there acting as fire.

“You like it?”

“That’s the best tattoo I’ve ever seen.”

“Have you seen a lot of tattoos?”

“My best friend has a sleeve,” Taemin answers quickly.  “What else?”

A quote about love lay hidden beneath Jinki’s right bicep: “There are no boundaries or limits when it comes to love”.  Another quote beneath it: “One word”.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that a life can be changed with just one word.”

“I like that.  Like just saying ‘yes’ to something can change everything.”

“Yes, exactly like that.”  Taemin smiles as he scans for more words, surprised when he catches a name just above Jinki’s rib that had somehow escaped his notice.

“Who’s Francesca?” he asks with a laugh.  “Should I be jealous?”  He looks up to see the smile on Jinki’s face has stiffened, a flash of pain in his eyes.

“A story for another time,” he murmurs, leaning down to kiss Taemin’s lips.  Regret has him letting it go, desire has him forgetting he was ever curious.  Their fingers get caught in each other’s hair, Jinki’s beneath Taemin’s shirt and Taemin fumbling with Jinki’s belt.  It falls to the floor just as he lifts his hands over his head, breathing in the kiss warmed by Jinki’s palms at his cheeks, tucking his thumbs into the belt loops of Jinki’s jeans.  His lips are soft on his own, little flicks of a tongue in his mouth that deepen in a desperation that has Jinki falling beside him, blunt fingertips in Taemin’s hair.

“I want to try something,” is murmured against his mouth and he nods silently as Jinki slips away.  Those same fingers from before tug off his socks one at a time and then slowly move up and take the rest of his clothes with them.  Every joint along the way receives a kiss and the warmth of a flat palm, his lips the final recipient of Jinki’s adoration and he aches with desire when Jinki pulls away.

“I thought you wanted to take things slow,” he sighs, propped up on elbows.

“I said I wanted to see where things would lead us.”

“Me naked and you still in your pants?”  Jinki chuckles as he fades into the darkened bedroom.  Taemin hears a drawer open and close and then the clatter of a bottle sat on the table above his head.

Jinki warms his lips with a kiss before disappearing into the hallway, reappearing with a towel.

“This is going to make a mess.”

“That was always the plan,” Taemin points out.

“Normally I’d have you move to your front, give you a massage first.  I just don’t want to wait that long,” he murmurs as his palms begin working at Taemin’s hips, a pair of blunt thumbs rubbing circles over each, slowly moving down until they’re at the divot between his thighs and his dick.

“For what?” Taemin asks curiously.  Jinki answers by flipping the cap on the bottle and pouring a dollop on Taemin’s growing erection, making him hiss and his head fall back.

“Fuck.”  Familiar fingers stroke up and down, twirling around, unbearably slow.  A haggard breath is followed by a soft chuckle when he notices a change in the room.  “Coconut?”

“Piña colada,” Jinki murmurs.  There’s a kiss to Taemin’s thigh, and then another.  The fingers are replaced with a palm and he sighs as Jinki’s lips move closer, lower, suddenly around his sack and he groans loudly in the dark.

Wordlessly, Jinki’s tongue laves against the sensitive skin and then his lips are around Taemin’s dick.  Taemin drops to his back and presses fists to his eyes, moaning at how deep Jinki goes.

“Oh, my god.”  He can barely breathe with the way Jinki works his lips, tongue, and fingers, no inch of Taemin’s dick left ignored.  His back arches and his hips shift, fingers moving to run through Jinki’s hair, groaning in satisfaction.

“Jinki…”  The lips slip away and Jinki’s fingers begin to quicken, a swipe of his thumb every few seconds setting him further on edge.  More kisses against thigh and again Jinki’s lips suck at his sack as he gets closer and closer.  An empty hand sits at his hip and he curls his fingers through the ones resting there, murmuring Jinki’s name again as he finally cums.

There’s a rustling in the room he barely hears and then Jinki’s beside him, the feel of denim at his hip and Jinki’s arm at his waist.  Soft lips travel up from his shoulder to his jaw and he turns so that he can feel those same kisses on his mouth.  Everything is still hazy and warm when he opens his eyes, smiling when he sees Jinki’s face so close.  His hair has fallen to one side and he tucks it back over an ear, brushing his fingertips over the studs that dot down to his earlobe.

“You’re so hot,” he murmurs, slipping his arm around Jinki’s neck and touching Jinki’s lips, pulling them down to his own.  It’s lazy now, less fervent than how it began, but he still wants more, still wants Jinki.  A hand slips down to the front of Jinki’s jeans and he begins to palm him through the denim, fingers moving up to do away with the button and zipper.  They’re kissing while he does so, instinct and lust guiding their movements.  He nips at Jinki’s lip and in the surprise, he grins.

“Where’s the lube?”

The taste of piña colada and the weight of Jinki’s dick is all new and familiar and the blend of truths has Taemin moaning.  Jinki’s fingers push his hair away from his face and he smiles when he pulls his lips away and begins to use his hand.    Jinki leans over and pushes him onto his back, supplementing the action with a kiss.  Taemin moves to the edge of the bed, legs spread and hands behind his head while Jinki’s warm, deft fingers move soft and sure.  Months have passed since anyone other than himself has touched him in this manner and he sighs with a smile that this time it should be Jinki.  He listens to the crinkle of a condom wrapper and breathes.

Within minutes, Jinki’s on top of him, their chests pressed together.  One hand clutches the back of Jinki’s neck and the other is at his hip and just when Jinki moves to press in he’s startled to find himself grabbing him by the wrist.

“Wait!  Wait, wait, wait.”  Jinki freezes, eyes wide.

“What?  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  Just…”  Taemin bites his lips and frowns in worry.  “I’ve never done this.”

Jinki chuckles and then stops, tilts his head and watches Taemin in confusion.

“What?”

“I mean…”

“I thought you and Jongin…”

“Oh!  No, not that.  Yes.  No.  Wait.  Um…”  A puff of air blows through Taemin’s lips and makes Jinki’s hair flutter.  He laughs nervously as he brushes the tufts back into place before looking up.  “Only Jongin.”  Jinki leans back and Taemin sighs as his hold on Jinki’s neck slips away.

“Oh.”  He kneels down and Taemin sits up, legs dangling over the edge of the bed and he smiles nervously as Jinki folds his arms over Taemin’s knees and props his head over his fists.

“OK.”

“Just thought you should know.”

“OK.  Why?”

“In case…in case I’m not good.”  The way Jinki laughs makes Taemin mad and he frowns.  “That’s not funny.”

“Taemin it’s…wow.  I never thought I’d be saying this but it’s not about you being good for me.  For all you know I’m going to suck.”  Taemin smiles and taps him on the nose.

“You’re a professional at sucking.”  He grins as Jinki rolls his eyes.

“That I’ll fail.  For all you know I’m going to fail at satisfying you.  But that’s not what this is about.  At least for me.  I just want to be close to you.”

“Well you can’t get any much closer than your dick in my ass and your tongue in my mouth.”  Jinki smiles and pats his thigh.

“That’s the spirit.”  Taemin takes a deep breath and nods, running his hands up and down Jinki’s arms.  “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready.”

“I am,” Taemin answers quickly.  “I am.”

“Are you sure?”  He nods eagerly, grinning in anticipation.

“Yes.  Definitely.”

“All right.  Let’s do this.”  He throws up a hand and Taemin just laughs at him.

“Don’t try to high-five me before you fuck me.”

“After?”

“Just,” Taemin grabs his arms and pulls him up, leaning back and tugging him along.  They’re in the same position they were before, Jinki crouched over him and Taemin’s hands again at Jinki’s neck and hip.  He slips his hand down to stroke Jinki a few times, blinking lazily as they just look at each other in the quiet.  He breathes out and lets his hand fall away, slipping again over Jinki’s hip.  A squeal bursts through his lips when Jinki blows a raspberry just below Taemin’s ear and his shoulder bumps against Jinki’s cheek.  There’s laughter and another kiss at his lips and he smiles into it when Jinki slips in and they finally begin to move.

~

When Jinki wakes up it’s to the warmth of another at his side.  A hand rests on his chest but Taemin’s head is tucked beneath his arm, face hidden.  When he shifts there’s a groan of disapproval, a muffled rebuke that he can’t understand.

“What are you doing?” he asks in confusion.

“Mffng.”  He chuckles and moves his arm up the bed, twisting to look down at the mop of Taemin’s hair poking out between his bicep and rib.

“What?”  Taemin’s head pops up, chin resting on Jinki’s chest and he sighs sleepily, eyes still closed.

“Snuggling.”

“In my armpit?”  He shrugs.

“It’s soft and warm and smells nice.”  His head disappears before Jinki has a chance to respond.  Soon his breaths even out, and Jinki lets his arm rest on Taemin’s back, smiling as he falls back to sleep.

~

Taemin fiddles with the knobs while ice cold water bursts from the spout and splashes back up to sprinkle his forearm with frozen droplets.  Their units may be on different floors but it’s the same complex and yet Jinki’s shower is refusing to follow the laws of averages.  Instead, it insists on relinquishing nothing but the iciest of water to Taemin.

It takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize that the knobs he was twisting were the shower and cold water knobs, not the hot water, and once the error is corrected he’s met with a steamy spray.  Jinki’s sheer plastic shower curtain crinkles beneath the back of his hand and the little penguin hooks click over the metal bar as he steps inside.

Wet, naked, and a little confused he searches the shower.  This is the first time he’s been in Jinki’s shower and whereas he stores everything at the front on a little caddy, Jinki has his supplies at the back on a little shelf.  And he also has an extension hose attached to his shower head that Taemin lasts all of fifteen seconds resisting the temptation to pull down before he has it in his hand as a microphone.

_“I am the best!  Mmm-mmm-mmm I am the best!  Mmm-mmm-mmm!  I am the best!  Mmm-mmm-mmm!  I am the best!  The the best!  Whoever looks at me can see I'm kind of a killer_

_Alright!_

_This body is second to no one!_

_Alright!”_

“Alright.”

“Augh!!!”  The shower head nearly falls to the floor, slippery hands barely keeping hold and his eyes squeeze shut when the stream whips around and hits him in the face.  Jinki’s chuckle does nothing to calm him.

“You OK?”

“Mm-hmm.  Yep!”  Taemin struggles to put the shower head back in its little holder and not pay too much attention to the sound of a flushing toilet.

“What were you singing?”

“Just something I heard around.  I think Gwiboon or Junghee used to play it.  Maybe Minjung.”

“Not Eunsook?”

“No, definitely not Eunsook.”  Another chuckle and then the sound of the shower grows loud as neither of them speak.  Taemin blows a raspberry in exasperation and asks, “Why aren’t you in here with me?  It’s cold out there and all the hot guys are in here.”  The curtain slides open and a naked Jinki steps through with a sleepy smile.

“I was waiting for an invitation.”

“You didn’t get one,” Taemin teases.

“It felt like an invitation.”

The mild look of panic on Jinki’s face has Taemin grimacing as he quickly adds, “I was just explaining why you weren’t in here.”

“So mean!” Jinki exclaims, arms crossing.  Taemin laughs and cups his cheek with one hand.

“I’m glad you’re here.”  Jinki nods and breathes out.  Taemin’s eyes light up when he realizes, “We’re in the shower, Jinki.”  The folded arms uncross and a familiar hand braces at each of his hips

“We are in the shower.”

“Together,” Taemin adds eagerly.

“I know.”  They watch each other through the thickening steam.  Jinki is the first to move, pulling Taemin closer and smiling against his lips before finally kissing him.  The hand at Jinki’s cheek moves to link with its mate behind his neck and in the stream of the shower they hold each other as their lips dance.

~

Jinki grins in his green shirt and jeans, an applique image of a box of Life cereal on his chest and a purple knit bag of lemons hanging off his shoulder: Every trick-or-treater who can tell him what to do with lemons gets an extra treat.    The little sugar-free candies he hands out are accepted by princesses and pirates (and one pirate princess) with squeals and “Thanks Mr. Lee!” while Taemin squirms a little in his camouflage shirt and pants, a plastic rifle slung over his shoulder.  The makeup on his face itches and soon he’s got little smudges of brown and black and green on his index finger from scratching.  Though he’s been pointed at and laughed at by their small visitors, he does his best to smile when the kids stop by.

Now they’re alone, the bucket of candy empty and Taemin is in the bathroom scrubbing away the remnants of the camouflage on his face.  The lights in Jinki’s bathroom are brighter than his, the bulbs mimicking sunlight and his already flushed cheeks are warming beneath them and the damp cloth in his fingers.  Barefaced, he steps out into the hall, padding out to the kitchen where Jinki is pouring them drinks.

“Wow, you’re popular.”

“I’ve been teaching for five years now.  A lot of those kids are past students.”

“They came all the way over here to see you.”  It’s not a question, a passing statement, a conclusion he’d drawn from watching how disinterested the children seemed in receiving their candy when compared to how excited they were to see Jinki’s smile and to give him a hug.

“And for candy.”

“No one gets that excited for sugar-free.”  Jinki shrugs as he places a glass down on the coaster in front of Taemin.

“Parents seem to appreciate it.”

“They would.  I’m still trying to get over the woman down the street that handed out little packets of Cinnahots with scriptures about hell stuck on them.”

“Wow.”

“Yes.  I just mean, you’re really good with kids and they like you.”

“I love teaching.  I love it.  Every morning I get a classroom of kids who just want to learn.  They don’t know stuff and they know they don’t and they want to.  It’s the best.”  Taemin nods and thinks, takes a sip from his glass and then taps it when he places it back down.

“I love playing.  Eunsook taught me, taught all of us.  When she moved away, with Minho, her students became mine.  So, I’ve been teaching since I was about sixteen.  The parents were a little wary of letting a teenage boy teach their kids but they trusted Eunsook.  Good money, good hours.  Glad I’m at a school now, though.  The teaching I do for money, the playing is for me.  I love the piano.”

“It shows.”  Jinki grins and takes his hand, squeezes it and tickles Taemin’s palm until he yelps and pulls away.

“We’re lucky, I guess.  To be in love.”  He leaves it blank and lets Jinki fill in the three words unspoken, lets him choose which trio he wants.

“We are,” is Jinki’s response, a smile that is small but significant because of the way his eyes shine when he speaks.  Taemin’s hand is again picked up and this time he’s the one to squeeze, thumb traveling across Jinki’s knuckles as he smiles.

~

“Play me one of your songs.”  Taemin looks up from his plate, fork in hand.  More than a month has passed since their first night together & tonight they’re at his.  Jinki had said earlier that he wanted to hear another of Taemin’s compositions.  He just hadn’t thought he’d ask in the middle of dinner.

“Right now?”

“Yeah.  It was the last day of school before a four-day weekend today and I need something to relax to.”

“I have a few ideas…”  Jinki smiles a tired smile.

“Later, definitely.  I want to hear you play.”

“Fine.”  The fork drops to the plate and he walks across the room to set it on the counter.  He comes back, brushing his fingers through Jinki’s hair and giving him a quick kiss before taking a seat on the bench, bending his fingers and thinking about what to play.  He decides on an older piece, one he had written years ago, when he was a teenager and still in love with Jongin.  The keys flow beneath his fingers, the melody surrounding the two alone in the apartment.  Another melody is played, and then another.  The last note of the last piece is still fading when warm hands fall to his shoulders and he smiles when Jinki’s kiss tickles his neck.

“Four days,” he murmurs, “Alone with you.”  Jinki’s lips move lower, fingers tugging at Taemin’s collar and a kiss lands on his shoulder.  He gasps when the lips move back up, just behind his ear and then below his jaw, Jinki’s hands moving across his waist and below.

Jinki pulls Taemin up and around, the keys clattering beneath him as he presses him back.  His fingers are beneath Taemin’s shirt and his lips at his neck and Taemin grips his shoulders to keep from falling.  One leg hooks at the back of Jinki’s thigh and the other braces against the piano as his shirt is pulled off and tossed to the floor.  The chord beneath him changes as Jinki’s lips move down, hands at Taemin’s hips and everything between his collarbones and navel taken eagerly along the way.  The fingers of one hand curl in Jinki’s hair, eyes closed and the other strikes another chord as he grips the piano for balance.  Suddenly Jinki’s lips are back against his own, soft hands at the small of his back and their pelvises flush.  He moans against Jinki’s lips when the hands move to his ass and his own move up to grasp Jinki’s jaw.  They stumble against the walls as they make their way to the bedroom.

He pulls Jinki’s shirt over his shoulders, laughing at the headband that gets lost along the way.  Kisses are sprinkled down his chest as he falls to his knees, the belt at Jinki’s waist eagerly tossed aside and the sweatpants he had worn to Taemin’s door quickly pulled down.

Jinki’s dick is in his mouth before Jinki has a chance to step out of his pants, feet still encased in socks.  He’s groaning and muttering “Fuck, Taemin” with his fingers in Taemin’s hair.  Taemin watches with delight, going as deep as he can and massaging Jinki’s sack in his palm.  Only the faint memory of Jinki’s words in the living room has him stopping, tugging the sweatpants to the ground and having Jinki step through.  A kiss and a palm to his cheek guide him back to the bed and when he hits the edge Jinki disappears.

With a frown, Taemin kicks off his own socks and sweats, naked on the bed, licking his palm and casually stroking his growing erection.  He scoffs when Jinki returns, lube in one hand and a handful of condoms in the other.

“You couldn’t have brought those in here with you?”

“I forgot that they weren’t in my pockets.”  Taemin just grumbles.

“What’s the flavor of the month?”

“In honor of pumpkin season, watermelon.”

“Watermelon?  Oh, fuck.”  The last is muttered when Jinki’s finger crooks and the soft satisfaction of stimulation has his hips lifting.

“If you say so,” Jinki says with a cheeky grin.  He steps back to roll on a condom, a dollop of lube on his finger that he coats the latex with.

“Let me,” Taemin murmurs, rising onto his knees and taking Jinki’s dick in his mouth.  Three sucks and he pops off, looking up with a grin.

“Oh, my gosh it tastes like a Jolly Rancher!”

“You like it?”

“I love it.  Both of them.”  He wiggles his hips and licks his lips and then he’s taking Jinki into his mouth, staring up as he moves his head back and forth.  Jinki’s fingers in his hair has Taemin humming in delight and he laughs when he’s gently pushed away.  He rolls onto his elbows and wiggles his ass in the air, hissing and biting his lip when Jinki begins eating him out, little licks and nips and sucks and he grabs at the sheet when the efforts are doubled on his sack.

He reaches back for Jinki’s hand at his thigh and taps it twice, murmuring “Now, now”.  Kisses are sprinkled up to the base of his spine and then Jinki’s hand are at his hips and he’s sighing as Jinki begins stroking deep inside.

 

Jinki checks the bath water a third time, pouring in another stream of bubble soap to further fill up the tub.  At about the third mark he turns it off, hoping that he hasn’t already put in too much water.

“Taem!” he calls through the closed door, wiping the bubbles off his fingers and laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

“Yeah?” comes a muffled reply.

“Come here!”  He’s barefoot in boxers, hair knotted on top and pushed back.  The lights of the vanity burn hot and he wishes Taemin would hurry up so he can light the candles along the counter and turn them off.

“What?”  Taemin stops in the doorway, glancing first at the bubbles, then at the candles, then up at Jinki.  “What…?”

“We never did have that bubble bath.”

“What bubble…from the pool?  You remembered?”

“I’ve been waiting months for the chance to take a bath with you.”

“You could have just asked,” Taemin replies with a grin, pulling his shirt over his head.  He’s naked before Jinki’s lit a single candle.  “Hurry up.  It’s wet and naked time.”

“Just give me a minute,” Jinki chuckles as he lights the last candle.  He reaches over Taemin’s shoulder and flips off the lights.

“Oooh…”

“Atmosphere.”

“Bubbles in the dark.”

“Everything is better in the dark,” Jinki whispers, kissing Taemin’s shoulder before kicking off his shorts and stepping into the bath.  Taemin steps in after him, taking the hand Jinki offers and settling into his lap, pulling both of Jinki’s arms around his chest.

“Thank god.  I wasn’t sure we’d actually fit.”

“I took measurements.”

“Of course you did,” Taemin replies, leaning up to kiss at Jinki’s jaw.  Jinki kisses his neck and leans their heads together.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he murmurs into the other’s ear, nibbling at the lobe unusually bare of jewelry.

“But it’s so warm,” Taemin whines softly, tilting his head further so that Jinki can sprinkle more kisses along his neck and shoulder.  He does so, slowly, tugging Taemin even closer.

“The water will get cold.”

“You can warm it back up.”  He chuckles in Taemin’s ear.

“I can’t do anything with you in my lap.”

“Oh, I disagree.  You can-”

“I can’t do anything about the bath water with you in my lap.”

“Mmm.  Then I’ll just have to stay awake.”

“You’ll just have to.”

“You’ll make sure I get a good night’s sleep, though, won’t you?”  He looks up at Jinki expectantly with a knowing smile.

“All through the night.”  Another kiss to his jaw has him smiling back.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

 

Taemin taps at the folding counter while Jinki moves wet clothes from the washers to the dryers.  It’s only been a month but he keeps finding himself on the edge of saying words that he feels foolish for not being sure if he should be using.  The last day of a long weekend seems the time to ask.

“What are we?” he asks abruptly, Jinki’s back to him, shoulder deep in a washing machine.

“We’re domestic demi-gods,” he answers quickly, tugging up an armful of damp clothing and carrying it across the room.  Taemin’s too distracted by the response to remember the question he actually wants answered.

“Why aren’t we gods?”

“Because,” Jinki says, tossing a dryer sheet in each of the four machines now full of their damp laundry, “The power of a god rested in whether he had a goddess or not.”  He looks over at Taemin with a raised brow.  “This does not apply to us.”

“Is that really true?”  Jinki’s now scrounging through a small jar for quarters, slipping them in the little slots on the machines.

“All the powerful gods have wives.”

“I haven’t heard of any that had.”  Four loud clicks and then the room fills with the thump, thump, thump of four drying machines running in tandem.  Jinki turns to him, incredulous.

“Hades.”

“He had a wife?”

“Persephone!  How do you not know this?”  Taemin shrugs.  Suddenly he remembers his original question.

“I just mean…I like labels.  Like this.”  He picks up the bottle of detergent with the picture of the ocean.  “It tells you exactly what it is and what the limits are.”

“You want to know if we’re a bottle of laundry soap?”

“If we lived in a world of laundry yes, I would want to know if we were laundry soap.  Or dryer sheets.  Or quarters, for relationships that needed payment.”  Jinki snickers and jumps up on the counter.

“We’re friends.”

“Oh.  OK.”  He jumps up on the counter beside him and taps his fingers on the edge, legs swinging in the air.

“And I’m fucking in love with you.”  His legs still and he grins down at his feet.

“I’m fucking in love with you too.”  Their hands reach out and their fingers lace messily on the Formica.

“By the way, where exactly did you set fire to a washer?”

“Which time?  I mean...my parent’s house.”

 


	3. Winter

Eunsook rubs her belly as she shuts her apartment door.  Fatigue and a bit of loneliness has her walking the two doors down to knock on her brother’s, opening it when Taemin calls out “Come in!”, surprised at what she sees when she steps inside.

“Are you baking?”  

Taemin nods as he wipes one hand on a gray apron she doesn’t recognize.  He glances over at the open book and then squints at the dial at the top of the stove before turning it to the left.  Eunsook holds her belly while she climbs onto the stool and she taps her fingers on the counter as she watches her brother carefully scoop flour into a measuring cup with a spoon.  The book is turned in such a way that she can’t read the recipe from where she sits.  The cake pans, though, are a pretty clear clue.  “A cake?”

“Yes,” he answers absently, one finger on the book and an empty palm rubbing his chest.

“For me?”  She laughs at his playful glare.  He does a double-take and then turns completely around to open the fridge.  A bottle of grape juice is placed on the counter before her with a bow.

“No, but that is.  Since you can’t have wine.”  Surprised, she twists off the lid and raises the bottle in thanks.

“If not for your favorite sister, who are you making a cake for?”

“Gwiboon fed me last.  And it’s for Jinki.”

“Gwiboon lives on the other side of the country.”

“She sent me a gift card.”  Eunsook rolls her eyes and takes a sip.

“Why are you making a cake for Jinki?”

“It’s his birthday.”

“Today?”

“No, next week.”  Taemin grabs a measuring spoon off the counter and begins pouring into it from a little bottle.  Eunsook chuckles into her drink at the look of concentration on his face.  “But,” he continues, dropping the spoon into the sink, “I wanted to surprise him before then.  And have enough time to buy him one if this doesn’t work out.”

“They come in mixes, you know.  Cake mixes.”

“Yeah, yeah.  That’s what Gwiboon said.  At least Minjung supports me in my romantic overtures.”  Eunsook watches with delight at the blush that creeps over her brother’s cheeks, the concentration from before doubled as he keeps his head down and turned slightly away.

“I heard that.”

“Heard what?”

“Romantic overtures,” she says, exaggerating every syllable.  He stands up straight, hands on his hips.

“Oh please.  You’re the one who told me to ask him out and you know we’re fucking.  Excuse me for trying to please my boyfriend outside of the bedroom.”

“Boyfriend?  Mmm.”  She shifts, rubbing at her belly and taking another sip.

“Anyway,” he says, turning back to his mixing bowl, “I wanted it to be special so I’m making it myself.  Or at least trying.”

“Cool.”  Taemin glances over with a hopeful smile.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”  A grin and a double nod are his reply and she watches as his back begins to straighten.  “So, what flavor are you making?”

“Chocolate.”

“Chocolate?”

“Yes.  With pineapple frosting.”

“With…”

“Flavored, no gross chunks.”

“Have you already made the frosting?”

“No, I’m going to make it while the cakes bake.  Ha!  ‘Cakes bake’.”  She watches him shake his head and smile.  Soon, the pans are filled with batter and the waft of heated air blows towards her when the oven is opened.  Taemin sets the identical pans gingerly on the middle rack and then closes the door, setting a timer when Eunsook reminds him.

“I know what I’m doing.”

“No, you don’t.  You’ve never made a cake.  Ever.  Have you ever even baked?”

“Yes!  Of course, I’ve baked!”  The bottle sits in front of her, fingertips tapping on the plastic as she raises an eyebrow.

“Anything other than pizza?”

“…pizza counts.”

“Only if you set the timer.”  Taemin huffs and begins flipping pages in the recipe book.  A new bowl and spoons and ingredients are set out, a mess soon taking form.  It’s when he pulls out an electric mixer that Eunsook frowns.

“Did you just take all my baking supplies for this?”

“Minho also supports me in my romantic overtures.”

“You could have just used our kitchen.  No reason to carry it all over here.”  Taemin looks over his shoulder incredulously.

“Then I would have had to be in your kitchen.”

“That is not an attitude of gratitude.”

“You had sex in that kitchen.  There is not enough bleach on the planet to make me willingly bake a cake for my boyfriend in that room.”  Eunsook only shrugs and takes another sip of her juice as the mixer begins to whir.

An hour later Taemin is wiping his hands on his apron, nodding, and muttering, “OK.  The cakes are in the fridge, the frosting is in the fridge.”  He’s halfway down the hall before he doubles back and takes the apron off, hanging it up on the edge of the refrigerator.  The cloth he’d used to wash his dishes, a towel hanging off his oven door, and another lying haphazardly on the counter are gathered up and he disappears again.  Eunsook follows him down the hall to find him scrounging beneath his bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning,” Taemin mutters as he grabs a handful of clothes off the floor.  She watches from the doorway as he turns to the left and then to the right, and then completely around.

“It’s on the other side of the bed,” she offers.  He nods as he hurries over and dumps his bundle into the mesh hamper.  “Why are you cleaning?”

“Jinki’s coming over.”  Eunsook fights the chortle in her throat with a bite to her lip and she swallows and takes a breath before responding.

“Hasn’t he been over before?”

“Yes, and …”  Taemin stops, glancing around the room again.  He looks up at Eunsook, eyes wide.  “Where’s the basket?”

“Behind you,” she replies with a tilt of her chin, “Where you just dumped all your clothes.”  He glances back and nods, grabbing the hamper with one hand and dragging it across the room.  Eunsook presses herself against the door jamb as he continues down the hall, brows furrowed and lips pursed.  She follows, amused, moving to sit again at the little stool at the counter and watch as Taemin abandons the hamper to start piling what dishes he had left scattered across the counters into the sink.

“So.  Jinki.”

“He’s coming over.”

“Right,” Eunsook says with a soft snort, “But he’s been here before.”

“Yes.”

“…OK.”

“Oh!”  The water begins rushing into the sink and Eunsook closes her eyes against the sight of her brother dumping at least a quarter cup of liquid soap into the stream.  When she opens them again, a giant mountain of bubbles slowly grows visible.

“Turn the water off, Taem!”  The faucet twists and the noise dies down.  Taemin begins scrubbing the dishes with a brush on a white and purple stick.  “Let’s try this again.  So.  Jinki.”

“He’s coming over.”

“And you’re cleaning.”

“Yes.”  Eunsook closes her eyes again as water splashes over the counters, soaking the towel beneath Taemin’s drying rack.  The fact that his plate and bowl are plastic are the only consolation to the knowledge that his flatware will definitely get spots.  Her spoons and cups though...

“Why?”

“Because-”

“Yes, but why are you cleaning for him?”

“Oh.  Um.”  Taemin glances nervously at her over his shoulder.  “Because the apartment’s messy.”

“Do you think Jinki will care?”  He shrugs and pulls the drain.

“Don’t know.”

“But you care if he does.”

Another non-committal shrug and the blessed sight of a dry towel being pulled from the drawer are followed by, “It’s his birthday.”  Eunsook watches with joy as Taemin dries off his dishes and hers before putting them away, piling hers up, and turning to toss the towel into the hamper.

“Almost left them to dry.  But I knew it would bother you if I did.”  There is no teasing to his tone, he is still moving around the room distracted.  Pillows are fluffed, a blanket folded.  Even the blinds are straightened.  Eunsook watches it all with a smile and decides not to press.  When he is done, and has his coins and soap tossed into the hamper, she follows him down the hall to the elevator.  They ride down in silence and she keeps an eye on him as he loads up an empty machine.

“I can feel you watching me.”

“Three fires, Taem.”

“Not my fault.”

“Three.”

The lid closes with a bang and he slips quarters into the little slots with one hand while he points at the buttons with the other.

“This one?”

“Haven’t you been doing your laundry with Jinki?”  He turns to her with a grin.

“Just messing with you.”

“Taem?”

“What?”

“Put in some soap.”

 

An hour and a half later, Eunsook rocks in a chair Taemin carried from her apartment over to his for her, talking about their plans for a trip to visit their parents in January while Taemin frosts a birthday cake for his boyfriend.

“Jongmi is coming over in the morning and then they and Minjung are going to spend the evening with Jongmi’s sister and mom.”

“Are we spending the night?” Taemin asks from the kitchen.

“Yes, but not at the house.  You can, I’m not.  Minho’s going to drive us over and back.”

“Will I have to pay for my own room?”

“No, you can stay with us and split the bill.”

“I think I can swing that.  I love our parents but-”

“No one wants to stay in that cramped house.”  Eunsook looks around Taemin’s apartment while he focuses his attention on frosting the two cakes.  “You must really like Jinki.”

“What?”

“Vegetables, baking, cleaning,” she says loudly, “You definitely have a crush.”  Taemin turns around then, a spatula with bits of yellow frosting in one hand and the other on the counter.

“Yeah.  I definitely do.”

“I’m glad, Taem.”  He nods and turns back to the cakes.  Eunsook rocks in the quiet.

~

The look of surprise on Jinki’s face when Taemin throws a handful of glitter at him as he walks through the door is worth every moment of anxiety built up waiting for him to come over.

“This stuff never comes out,” he complains, untying his hair and running his fingers through the strands.

“I’ll wash your hair.”

“It gets everywhere, Taem.”

“I’ll make sure you’re clean enough to eat off of.”

“Oh, well, in that case...”

The cake is pulled out of the fridge, a two-layer that balances precariously on a simple dinner plate beneath a sheet of plastic wrap propped up with toothpicks.

“What do you think?”

“You made this?”  Taemin rubs his hands together, glancing at the cake.

“Why?  Does it look OK?”

“No, it’s fine.  It looks great.  I just meant that I was surprised.  I didn’t expect you to go to the trouble.”

“I wanted to do something special.”  Jinki laughs as he kisses Taemin’s cheek, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Most people write ‘Happy Birthday’ on cakes.  Not ‘You’re Aging Well’”.

“I’m not most people.”

“So true.”  Jinki shakes his head, letting go.  “Are there candles?  Please tell me you didn’t get trick ones.”

“I didn’t get trick ones.”

“Are you saying that because it’s true or because I told you to.”

“Both,” Taemin says as he pulls out a ‘4’ and a ‘1’ and holds them out with a grin.

“Uh…how old do you think I am?”

“No clue.  But I know that your birthday is the 14th.”  He puts the candles into the cake with pride.

“You really don’t know how old I am?”

“I do.  But I couldn’t remember when I was at the store so I improvised.”

“How old am I?”

“Waaaay older than me,” he says as he slips his arms around Jinki’s waist, fingers linked at the small of his back.

“That’s so specific.”

“27.  In three days.”  A little kiss warms their lips.

“Well fuck me.”

“Later,” Taemin says with a pat to Jinki’s hip.  “Let’s light these suckers up and then you can blow us all.”  Jinki chuckles as he watches Taemin pull out a lighter.

“A flame of love,” Taemin says dramatically, holding the lighter like a pistol and Jinki laughs as the candles are set aflame.  The little flickers disappear beneath his breath and the wish he makes every year is an afterthought to the one he makes tonight.  There’s clapping behind him and when he turns around Taemin’s smiling and his eyes sparkle.

 

“Oh my god,” Jinki moans as he takes a bite.  His eyes close and he hums softly.

“Good?”

“So good.”  Taemin bites his lip in excitement, shoulders briefly shrugging as he takes his own bite.

“Wow.  It’s actually good.”

“You didn’t think it would be?”

“I had a few doubts.  My first cake.”

“It’s really good.”  He reaches over and takes Taemin’s hand.  “Thanks.”  Taemin squeezes his hand as he begins to stand up.

“All right, birthday boy.  There are traditions that need to be followed.”

“I’ve already blown out my candles,” Jinki answers with a raised brow.   He stands and begins moving slowly towards Taemin who moves slowly away.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Made my wish.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“So, unless you’re going to spank me,” Jinki’s eyes crinkle and his teeth gleam as he grins, “I don’t know what traditions you think need attending.”

Taemin laughs as he suddenly steps forward, their lips brushing together and then again and again.  Jinki’s jaw warms beneath Taemin’s thin fingers, his own linking at the small of Taemin’s back.

They’re laughing into each other’s mouths as they make their way to the bedroom, Jinki’s fingers still linked at Taemin’s waist and Taemin’s now moved up into Jinki’s hair, the hair band slipped over his wrist by habit.  The door bangs open when at the last moment Jinki shoves Taemin back and runs to the bed, jumping up and bouncing around until he’s lying on his side, legs curled and fingers patting at the mattress.

“So, when do I get that spanking?”

~

“I want to get a tattoo,” Taemin murmurs, head resting on Jinki’s chest.  Jinki shifts on the bed so that their toes are tickling.

“Wow.  It’s my birthday and you’re asking for gifts?”

“No,” Taemin chuckles, elbowing Jinki while he plays with his fingers.  “Just making conversation.”

“What do you want?”

“A name.”  Jinki laughs.

“Don’t get a name.  You’ll regret it.”

“You have a girl’s name tattooed on your chest.”  Jinki pets at his hair with a smile.

“What makes a name a girl’s name?”  Taemin looks up.

“A name.  You have a name on your chest.”  Jinki’s fingers still and Taemin watches as his eyes grow wary.

“Yes.”

“Who is it?”  A pause that lasts for an eternity hangs in the silent room.  Long enough that Taemin’s opened his mouth to ask again, to apologize for asking, to ask what’s wrong when Jinki cuts him off with a kiss.

“A story.  For another day.  Want some cocoa?”  Taemin’s dissatisfied with the response but he’s seen the look in Jinki’s eyes and he’s willing to wait, not willing to push any further if it means that Jinki will be upset.

“With marshmallows,” he replies.

“Marshmallows?  Are you sure?”  Taemin nods emphatically.

“Of course!”

“I’m surprised.  You don’t strike me as a marshmallow guy, Taemin,” Jinki continues, “Sugar doesn’t seem to be your thing.”

“What are you talking about?  You’ve seen me eat-” Jinki’s snort resonates beneath Taemin’s chin and he sits up just enough to smack him playfully on the hip.  “I hate you.”

“I love you too.”  Jinki nods and slips out of the bed, stepping into a pair of shorts before heading to the kitchen.  Taemin waits until he hears a cupboard open to follow.  Little clicks and clinks echo from Jinki’s movements and he listens to it all while he thinks.  Eventually he follows, plopping down on the sofa and tucks his knees beneath his chin, playing with his toes with his fingers.

“What should I get, then?”

“Whatever you want, Taem.  I was kidding.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Something to represent you,” Jinki continues, ignoring Taemin’s response.  “Like your music.  A piece of your writing, maybe.”

“Maybe.  I guess I’ll think about it.”

“If you want to do a name you could wait until Eunsook has her baby.  Get a tattoo of their name.”  The idea has Taemin grinning.

“That would definitely make me the cool uncle.”

“While they were a kid.  And then you could embarrass them when they’re a teenager.”

“I am in favor of both of those things.”

“As long as they give them a good name.”

“They will.”

“Here.”  Jinki hands him a mug and sits down beside him, an arm over the back of the couch and his own mug resting on his knee.  Taemin shifts so that he’s leaning into Jinki’s side, mug held in both hands as he begins to to take a sip.

“Don’t!  The milk’s too-” Taemin’s eyes scrunch up and the mistake is made of swallowing and now his tongue, throat, and chest burn.  “-hot.”

“Why didn’t you warn me?!”

“I tried to!” Jinki exclaims as he quickly puts his cup down, turning to rub Taemin’s back as he continues to make faces.  “Why would you think you could drink scalding milk?!”  The look Taemin flashes him, shy and embarrassed has him laughing.  “What?”

“I didn’t think it would be so hot.”

“It was just on the stove!  Why wouldn’t it be hot?”

“It’s milk.”

“And?”  Taemin shrugs impishly and Jinki pats his back and kisses his head.  “I’ll make you another cup.  Just don’t drink it so fast this time!”  He’s halfway across the room when Taemin whimpers, “Don’t forget the marshmallows!”

~

Jinki’s ankles are crossed in front of him and Taemin’s head in his lap, staring at the ceiling, fingers laced and thumbs tapping against his chest.

“What do you want to do for winter break?”  Jinki’s hand falls to the crown of his head and begins brushing his hair back.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…”  Taemin pauses, glancing up.  “We could go on a trip, or something.”  Jinki’s looking down at him with an amused smile.

“Did you have somewhere in mind?”

“Somewhere with a fireplace.”  To his dismay, Jinki laughs.

“You expect me to trust you near an open flame?”

“I lit your birthday candles just fine!”

“What about the tea lights Eunsook specifically told you to stay away from?”  Taemin pouts and crosses his arms, fists tucked beneath his elbows as he mutters, “It was my shirt to burn.  Anyway,” he continues, “I want to roast marshmallows.”

“That’s typically a camping thing, usually done in summer.”

“There are bugs in summer.”

“Do you want to go camping?  You know what they say.  It’s fucking in tents.”

“It’s…” Taemin turns so that he can see the wicked grin on Jinki’s face.  “I hate you.”

“I hate you too.”

“No,” he says, settling back down, “just like…a cabin or something.”

“A weekend getaway?”

“Sure.  For New Year’s.  Or whatever.”

“I think the middle of December is a bad time to plan to rent a cabin New Year’s week.”

“Do you think they’d have a discount for the weekend in-between?”

“No.”

“Is it too cold to go camping?”

“Yes.”  He grumbles and flops around, pouting and kicking his feet.

“I just don’t want to be here.  If that makes sense.  I want to go somewhere.  I want you to come with me.”  Jinki’s eyes widen and he cuts him off, crying, “Traveling!” as he sits up and punches him teasingly on the shoulder.

“I want to do both with you,” Jinki replies with wiggling brows.

“Well we can do both if we get in a car and drive.”

“A car?”

“Your car.  You can drive.”

“You’re so gracious.”

“I am awesome.”

“Hmm.”  Taemin eagerly takes the kiss Jinki offers, snuggling up beneath his arm with a hand at his thigh.  “We could spend a day out at the lake and roast marshmallows out there.  No fire but I have a hack that works.  Then we could spend a night or two in a hotel and just walk around town.”

“Why would we leave the hotel?”

“Because there’s an aquarium I want to visit and I think it would be hot to make out by the sharks.”

“That would be hot.”

“You want me to set it up?”

“Of course, it sounds wonderful.”

“Consider it done.”  Another kiss is offered and eagerly accepted, another to his nose that he bats away in laughter.  It’s quiet again, Taemin thinking about all the things he wants to do on all the days that Jinki has free to do them in.

“We’ll be together for New Year’s, right?”

“Of course.  Christmas too, if you want.  I go over to Taeyeon and Kibum’s for lunch.”

“Oh!” Taemin exclaims, sitting up.  “Should I bring a gift?”

“If you want,” Jinki replies with a chuckle.  “You can just sign your name to mine though.”

“What should I bring?”

“You don’t trust my gift ideas?”

“I don’t want to share the glory.”  Jinki laughs and pats Taemin’s knee.

“Taeyeon likes jewelry, Kibum likes clothes, and Drew loves anything he can knock over.”

“That doesn’t really help.”

“Well you’ve met Taeyeon and Kibum.  Just get them what you think they’d like.”

“Oh my god, I just realized that I’ve never met Drew.  Is Christmas really the best time?”

“Extra presents are always welcomed by kids.”

“OK.”

“You won’t be interrupting my visit, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Jinki adds as he stands up.  “You’ll actually be helping by distracting his parents so they won’t ask me questions about you.”  Taemin watches him walk into the kitchen and laughs.

“So, I should be the one in the line of fire?”  Jinki turns around and blows an exaggerated kiss that Taemin pretends knocks him on his back.

“My hero.”

“Hmm.  Well you did save me from a miscreant.  I suppose I owe you.”

“Are you comparing the parents of my godson to a spider?”

“You’re the one who said my sister was cheap.”  Jinki pauses with his hand at the cupboard door, back shaking, and through his laughter he barely manages to say, “We really need to learn to better express ourselves.”

~

It’s when Taeyeon tugs at her sleeve while telling a story about Drew that Taemin remembers what’s printed on her wrist and what that must mean.  A mug of cider sits on this thigh and he stares at her wrist, now resting upturned on her knee as she continues with her tale.  He grips the handle and waits for a break, tries to think of a segue to get them from her topic to his.  There’s no downturn, no slow down, no illusion of a chance before the voices of the other grow louder, Drew running to his mom while followed by his dad and godfather stepping out of the child’s bedroom.

“Thank you Taemin-uncle!” he cries and Taemin barely has a chance to get his cup out of the way before the child is falling head first into Taemin’s lap and hugging his knees.  Kibum takes the mug out of his hand and he pats the boy’s head and back with a smile.

“You’re welcome.”  

He catches Jinki’s eye and the way he’s watching him with pride.  A flush warms his cheeks and it’s a bit of a disappointment when he’s again abandoned by the boy in favor of the Lego set he’d gifted him.

Looking back, he watches as Jinki leans down to say something to Taeyeon, something innocuous about crackers or chips, Taemin’s not sure.  What he sees is how the mark on Taeyeon’s wrist sits, still upright on her knee, little dots that create a name that rests in script on Jinki’s chest.

~

“Your story.”  

Jinki keeps fidgeting with the bowls in the cupboard and it’s making Taemin frustrated.  They’ve been back from Kibum and Taeyeon’s for an hour.  Jinki had claimed fatigue and dragged Taemin to bed, curling up behind him and promptly falling asleep.  He’d lain with Jinki at his back for the full sixty minutes falling in and out of a sleep mixed with a choppy dream about who Francesca was.  Now they’re awake and Jinki’s making stew and he still hasn’t looked at Taemin while he rummages through the cabinets.

“Hmm?”

“Your story.  The one written on your chest.  Francesca.”  He watches Jinki’s neck stiffen.

“I told you-”

“Taeyeon has the same story written on her wrist.”  Jinki’s looking at him now, frowning.  Taemin’s frowning back.  There was no way he could have thought that he wouldn’t have seen the marks on Taeyeon’s wrist.   Maybe since it was in Braille he thought Taemin wouldn’t know but did he really think Taeyeon had never told him what it said?  That he hadn’t made the connection before now was just a fluke.

“Yes.”  Now he’s turning back and Taemin’s fists clench at his sides.

“Who is she?”

“A memory.”

“You said that before.”

“It’s still true.”

“Taeyeon has the same memory.”  Jinki pauses.

“Taeyeon’s memory is her own.”

“But it’s the same person, the same story.”

“Taemin don’t push.”

“It’s just-” Jinki’s palm slams against the counter and Taemin flinches, shocked at the outburst.

“You don’t need to know everything, Taem.”

“I-”

“Just stop.  Please.”  Taemin watches Jinki’s jaw clench and he feels his own teeth tighten.  Finally, he sighs in defeat, nodding silently.

“OK.”  Jinki nods too, his back still turned.  The silence presses on and Jinki still hasn’t moved.  “Tell me what to do.”  Jinki turns, then, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No.”  Confusion turns to concern and his voice is softer when he asks, “Do you want to go?”

“No.”

“Then stay.”  Taemin nods, rubbing his hands together.

“OK.”

“OK.”

They eat in silence and brush their teeth the same.  Taemin lays his head in Jinki’s lap while they watch a film and wakes up in Jinki’s arms halfway down the hall.  When they climb in bed he wraps an arm around Jinki’s chest and closes his eyes when he feels a kiss to his forehead, sighing at the warmth and weight of Jinki’s arm across his shoulder.  Long after the last light is turned off, he lies awake with his head on Jinki’s chest, Francesca’s name beneath his neck.  He stares at the wall in the dark and listens to Jinki pretend to be asleep.

 

Jinki waits until Taemin’s breaths even out to wander into the bathroom, to the mirror and it’s burning bulbs.  He rubs Francesca’s name beneath his fingers and thinks.  Taemin’s question about Francesca has him rattled and a disquiet now lays in his gaze.  Taeyeon carries Francesca's heart and he her memories and how does one explain that to someone who's not been through it?  That they are each other's link to a girl long dead whose life now beats in the chest of another, that it was her death that has given life to Jinki’s godson?  That Drew lives because Francesca died?  Would Taemin even understand and would he even care if he did?  It's not a secret worth keeping but it is his and he's not ready yet to stop mourning.  That's what he's always feared: That again he would be told to "let it go".  That he would be seen him living with Taeyeon’s smile and think that he had forgotten Francesca's.  That loving Taeyeon means that he has stopped loving his cousin.  And it's more complex than that, so much more.  The love he felt for his cousin didn't transfer with her heart.  The grief he felt the day she died has not diminished in any way of any significance.  The days he keeps full are filled with pockets of time where he remembers that his memories are all that will remain: No more will be formed.  That the child who calls him "uncle" was not born to his cousin, that the children she had dreamed of having will never be.  That in every way that is important she is lost to him forever.  That the little girl who smiled at him as though he were a rainbow or a shooting star is now gone and in her place a family of strangers has become his.

He’s in love but he’s not ready to trust that piece of himself to another, not yet.  Almost.

His fingers brush over the name again and then the lights disappear, his footsteps heading back to the darkness and the warmth of Taemin’s sleeping form.

The next day, snow crunches beneath their boots and glitters in the fading sunlight.  Each of them are wrapped up in heavy coats and thick scarves, a beanie on Taemin’s head while Jinki’s goes bare.  They’ve parked Jinki’s car just up the road and Taemin carries a bag of marshmallows in one hand and Jinki carries a lighter, two metal skewers, and a little can that Taemin’s not allowed to touch.  He’s wanted to hold Jinki’s empty hand for the last six blocks yet even as they cross the street and enter the park he still hasn’t reached out, glancing again at the pocket puffed out with Jinki’s fist tucked inside.  They’re nearing the lake and all the patches of frozen water that glisten stoically amongst the bits of water that still run free.

They’ve made their way to the park just to take a break and look out over the water.  They trudge through the snow while the park is still empty, before the flip of a calendar means that the busyness of their lives will resume.  Just thinking of it makes Taemin frown and gives him the push to slip his arm through Jinki’s, leaning their shoulders together.  He smiles when Jinki turns and kisses his cheek.

“So how does this work?”

“Here, I’ll show you.”  Jinki steps back and hands Taemin the skewers.  He pries the metal lid off the can and puts it down in the snow, careful that it doesn’t sink.  The lighter is pulled out, clicked on, and suddenly a silent flame flickers in the can.  “Skewers.”  

Taemin hands them over quickly, careful to not point the sharp ends in Jinki’s direction.  He pops open the plastic bag and hands Jinki a marshmallow, watching as it’s skewered and then slowly browned over the flame.

“This is so cool.”

“I’m glad you approve.”

“I do.”  He takes the other skewer and stabs his own marshmallow, watching with delight as the doughy white slowly turns a crackled black.

“You’re burning your marshmallow.”

“Yes,” Taemin replies with a grin, “Burnt is best.”  Jinki only hums as he chews on his gooey treat and skewers another.  They’ve each finished off half a dozen marshmallows when Jinki tucks their supplies away in a little bag he’d carried in his pocket.  It swings from his wrist as they walk, Taemin’s gloved hand in his own.  The lake is frozen solid, the same lake they’d spent three Saturday afternoons in August together, Jinki with a rod and reel and Taemin in long sleeves with a can of bug spray at his hip.  After the first day, he was sure Taemin wouldn’t want to go again after it was clear just how much the fluttering insects upset him.  But Taemin had been the one to request a second trip and as much as he flinched and shrieked he never actually complained.

“It’s really pretty out here,” Taemin says in awe.  Jinki nods.

“Yes, it is.  No bugs this time, no miscreants.”  Taemin laughs and squeezes his hand.

“Don’t judge.  Just because I haven’t discovered your phobias yet doesn’t mean you get to make fun of mine.”

“No, the terror on your face when a fly buzzes within fifteen feet means I get to make fun of you.  Also, using me as a human shield.”

“Hey!  You signed up.”

“I don’t recall seeing ‘Over-reactive in the face of imminent buzzing’ being on any contract I signed.”

“Not my fault you were too infatuated to read the fine print.”  Jinki hums as he leans in for a quick kiss.

“As trade-offs go, I got to say I still came out ahead.”  Taemin’s squinting at him and he chuckles in confusion as he asks, “What?”

“That sounds dirty, somehow.  I’m trying to figure out if it is or isn’t.”

“If you really stretch and think about how we’re all here because of an ejaculation then it-Augh!  I can’t believe you just pelted me in the face!”  Taemin’s laughter echoes against the ice and snow as he runs to duck behind a tree.

“You were talking about other people having sex during our sexcation!  Besides, you’ve known me for almost six months; how could this betrayal possibly be a surprise?!  Augh!” Jinki watches as Taemin falls to his knees with his hands at his neck, digging out the bits of snow from the snowball Jinki managed to pelt him with.  “It’s going down my shirt!”

“Good!” Jinki retorts, laughing as he picks up the bag he’d dropped.  “I hope you get hypothermia!”  Taemin snorts as he walks back out, still digging out bits of snow.

“As long as you’re my nurse,” he says as he takes Jinki’s outstretched hand.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you more.” Taemin says with a smile.  They’re halfway up the hill when Jinki snorts.

“Sexcation?”

“Don’t question it.  Just enjoy.”  Jinki leans over and blows a raspberry behind the ear that isn’t drenched with melting snow making Taemin squeal.

“I plan to.”

“Let’s make snow angels!”

“You just complained about snow on your neck!”

“We’ll make the angels and then we’ll go back to the hotel and have a hot shower and you can tend to my hypothermia.”

“You won me with ‘hot’.”

Another half hour and two snow angels are spread into one, a mess from when Taemin jumped on top of Jinki and began kissing him in the snow.  The chill finally has them climbing up, walking back out of the park holding hands.

Pointing at a pile of fresh snow they pass just inside the gates, Taemin says, “If it’s yellow leave it for the next fellow.”  He nods, looking over at Jinki.  “Eunsook taught me that.”

“That’s…oddly explicit.”  Taemin shrugs and he starts pulling Jinki back down the sidewalk.

“She was 7, she was doing her best.”

“Whatever works.”

“We should make snow cones, though.  Clean ones.”

“Obviously.”

“No I mean it.”  Jinki can’t help but laugh at the eagerness on Taemin’s face.

“With real snow?”

“Yes!”

“Doesn’t it melt fast?  Snow cones are usually made with ice, not actual snow.”

“They’re still really good.  You just add syrup, like for Italian sodas.”  Jinki blows out a puff of air and glances around.

“Do you have any?”

“Any what?”

“Syrup.”

“We can buy some.”

“Where?”

“At the…”  It’s Taemin’s turn to look around.  He pouts when he realizes that they’re on the wrong end of town.

“Look,” Jinki says, reaching over and rubbing Taemin’s drooping shoulders, “We’ll buy some when we get back home, where we know there’s definitely a market.”

“I wanted to eat fresh snow.”

“Then eat it.  Just don’t pelt me in the face with it.”

“So many rules.”

“I am a teacher.”

“I want banana.”

“OK.”

“And pineapple.”

“Sounds good.”

Taemin’s nodding as he reaches down and scoops up two handfuls of snow, offering one to Jinki who accepts his with a half-hearted smile.  They’re still munching when they turn the corner.

The hotel room is almost hot when they burst in from the chill and Taemin’s half-naked and turning on the shower when Jinki finally gets his boots off.  Laughing, he drops off the rest of his clothes and eagerly joining his boyfriend in the shower.  He smiles against Taemin’s lips as he presses him up against the back of the shower.  Taemin’s hands are at his ass but at this angle at least they’ve stilled.  He’s teasing him now, for pelting him with snow and for being a bother while they are bathing.  It’ll lead somewhere else but for now he’s enjoying the feel of Taemin’s hands, chest, and the ankle he’s sneaking behind Jinki’s calf, the taste of him on his lips, and the warmth of the shower in the air.

 

“Do we have to go?” Taemin asks groggily from the bed, hair mussed up and eyes closed.

“No.  But I really want to.”

“Then we’ll go,” is murmured and he pokes Taemin’s cheek in gratitude.  To his surprise, Taemin grabs his finger and kisses it, snuggles it against his cheek.  “Another shower first, please.  And other things to warm me up.”

 

Once inside the aquarium, Jinki guides Taemin down the dark hallway with a hand to the small of his back as Taemin remarks that it’s a sad commentary on society that so few people are interested in learning more about aquatic life.

“It’s Christmas break,” Jinki points out.  “Most people aren’t interested in looking at fish when there’s snow on the ground.”

“Christmas was days ago.  They should always be interested.  Fish are friends.”

“Well,” Jinki says, turning Taemin around and pulling him close, “it works in our favor, doesn’t it?  Imagine if there were groups of little children around.  We wouldn’t be able to do this.”  A little kiss to Taemin’s lips is followed by another and soon they’re tucked away in the darkest corner with Taemin’s fingers in Jinki’s hair and Jinki’s hands tucked beneath Taemin’s coat, arms around his waist.  Jinki opens his mouth and Taemin turns his head and he moans a little too loudly in the quiet room.

“Shhh, you’ll get us kicked out.”

“Sorry, sorry, I just-” Suddenly his eyes widen and he shoves Jinki hard on the shoulder.  “Holy fuck!”

“What?”

“I think the hammerhead is watching us.”  Jinki looks over his shoulder and flinches when he sees a hammerhead shark not six feet away slowly swimming by.

“Uh…how about we go look at the turtles?” he asks as he steps back and begins running his fingers through his hair.  Taemin’s nodding and zipping up his jacket, pulling it close.

“Yes, please.”

Another hour roaming the aquarium is followed by fifteen minutes staring at an octopus and swapping stories about intelligent octopi each had read about on the Internet.  As impressive as Taemin’s story about the octopus opening a jar is, he has to admit that Jinki’s tale about the one killing sharks was the hands down winner.

Their last day is spent tossing what little they’d brought on their weekend trip back in their bags and spending half an hour looking for Taemin’s phone that had somehow been turned off.  After that, a late breakfast, another walk at the lake, and then they’re heading back home.

“I’m sad our sexcation is over,” Taemin moans, rubbing his hand over Jinki’s thigh as they sit at a red light.

“Every day is a sexcation as long as we’re together,” Jinki retorts with a smile.  The light turns green and they cross the intersection, the fading sun before them.

“So romantic.”

“I aspire.”  Taemin nods and tucks his hand back in his lap as they pull into the market parking lot.

“So, we’re decided: banana and pineapple?”

“Yes, and I’m also buying a bag of ice.”  They step out and the car doors slam in unison.  Taemin’s pouting when he joins Jinki in front of the car.

“I want snow.”  Jinki scoffs as they start heading toward the door.

“It’s just back up.  In case there isn’t enough out in the courtyard that doesn’t need to be left for the next fellow.”

“Fine.  But I want to run it through the blender.  You have a blender, right?”

“Yes, I have a blender.  Now let’s get treats and get back to where it’s warm.”

“Where we can eat our ice, and snuggle in blankets!”

“Exactly.”

Taemin eagerly explains their ice purchase to the cashier who only smiles tiredly and wishes them a happy new year.  He tucks it in the back seat, buckling it in, and holds the two bottles of syrup in his lap.  Jinki keeps his eyes on the road and the music low and they ride in anticipatory silence back to their apartments.

When they arrive, Taemin carries up the syrups hugged to his chest with one arm and the ice under another.  Jinki has their two bags and it’s his apartment they go to.  Their boots are kicked off and Taemin heads to the kitchen with their goods.  Without thinking, Jinki takes both bags to his room and tosses them by his hamper, coming back to find Taemin with a large bowl and a grin.

“Ready?”

Two hours later they’re in their socks and sweatpants wrapped in a thick blanket licking syrup off their fingers and lips and fighting the occasional brain freeze.

“That was so good,” Taemin moans as he sucks on his pinkie.

“It really was.  A good investment.”  Taemin laughs and leans over, licking at the sugar still on Jinki’s lips and leaving kisses in his wake.  He stands up and heads to the kitchen, to the sink where he rinses off his hands.

“Do we have to stay up?” he calls out over the running water.

“If we want to watch the ball drop in Times Square, yes.”  The water shuts off and Taemin turns around to lean against the counter.

“I don’t.”

“What do you want to do?”  Taemin wiggles his hips and begins an exaggerated walk of seduction, thrust hips and gyrating shoulders.

“You know what I want to do.”  Jinki raises an eyebrow.

“Do I?”  Taemin turns around and begins walking backwards, shaking his ass.

“You do.”  Suddenly Taemin’s in his lap with his arms around his shoulders, laughing.  “I want to fuck in the new year.”  Jinki grabs at his waist and hugs him close, pulling him down.  Their lips meet in laughter that slowly turns to moans, a shift from humor to lust that is only broken for a second when Jinki begins to stand.  Taemin laughs as he’s picked up, legs locking around Jinki’s waist and his arms at his neck.  He’s looking down and Jinki’s looking up and he whispers “Hey” from his perch.

“Hey.”

“Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year.”  He gives a Jinki a little kiss and then squeals when they spin around the room, giggling as they head down the hall.

~

There’s half an hour left until the ball drops and Eunsook’s asleep on Minho’s arm.  He keeps the television turned low, flipping back and forth between an old movie and the countdown program they’ve chosen to watch.  When it gets to ten minutes until midnight he decides to wake her up.  He doesn’t want to, he wants to let her sleep.  But he knows that she’ll be more upset if he doesn’t wake her for their midnight kiss than she will be when he wakes her up.

“Eunsook,” he murmurs as he rubs her arm and shakes her gently, a little kiss to her forehead as he brushes back her hair.   “Wake up, babe.”

“Is it time?” is her groggy reply.

“Ten minutes.”

“OK,” she mutters into his arm.  When she doesn’t move, he gives a little laugh and squeezes her shoulder.

“You want me to get you again in five?”

“No,” she replies, her eyes still closed.  “Just talk to me.  I want to be awake when the moment comes.

“What do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything.”

“Anything?  All right.  Well, there’s this girl I have a crush on.”  Eunsook snorts against his arm.

“Really?”

“Yes.  Super hot.”

“Do tell.”

“Well, she has long, black hair,” he says as he runs his fingers through the strands puddled over the pillow on his lap, “And midnight eyes.”

“Midnight?”

“Almost black.  So pretty.”

“What else?”

“An amazing singing voice.  I can listen to her sing the ingredients on a cereal box and be enraptured by how beautiful she sounds.”

“It was one time.”

“All the time.  You just don’t know that you’re doing it.”  Eunsook’s eyes open and she reaches out a hand.  He moves the arm she’s resting on out from beneath her and takes hold.

“You have a pretty voice too.”

“She also has the cutest hands.  Tiny hands.  Little stubby fingers.”  He kisses them one by one and then her wrist.  “Thighs that can crack walnuts.”  He pokes at the little mole at her jaw.  “Angel kisses everywhere.”

“Too bad you don’t have any,” she murmurs.

“That’s because I’m an actual angel.”  She laughs sleepily when he leans down to kiss her.  “Should I turn up the television?”

“No.  I don’t want the noise.  I just want it to be the three of us tonight.”  She takes the hand holding his and brings it down, twisting their hands around so that his palm rests beneath hers against her belly.  “They’re getting big,” she says softly.

“Planning their great escape.”

“I’m so excited.”

“Me too.”

“And terrified.”

“Me too,” he confesses.  “We’ll be great, though.  We’re a good team.”  Eunsook nods and sighs tiredly.

“What time is it?” she asks, looking up.  Minho glances at the screen and the little countdown at the bottom corner.

“Three minutes left.”

“Shouldn’t we have drinks or something?  To make a toast?”

“I left everything in the kitchen.  Do you want me to go get it?”

“I don’t want to move.”

“Then no drinks tonight.  We’ll toast in the morning.”  Eunsook brings her other hand up to her belly.  The baby kicks and Minho laughs and then they count down together, holding hands.

“5, 4, 3, 2.”  Minho leans down and kisses his wife, taking the seconds before and after the start of a new year with her lips against his own.  He sits up, just enough, just to see her eyes and smile and see her smile back.

“Happy new year, Eunsook.”

“Happy new year, Minho.”

~

Taemin squirms around on the futon trying to figure out where the vibrations are coming from.  A futon had been what he had chosen to furnish his living room with precisely because it was cheap and easy and didn’t have little folds for his phone to get lost in.  Yet somehow...

Finally, he stands up and pats himself down, still hearing the low buzz but no longer feeling it.  Another full minute passes before he discovers it tucked inside the covering of a throw pillow Gwiboon had gifted him at Christmas.  The phone rests in his palm, glowing and vibrating with a missed call as he stares at the familiar number, ultimately sighing in defeat before swiping the screen.

Five minutes later, and two repeats of the message, Taemin sits alone in his apartment and thinks.  The blinds are drawn and little slivers of light burst through at the seams.  His fingers are ambling over the keys of his piano though he is oblivious to what his fingers are playing.

The call from earlier plays again in his mind and he’s not sure exactly how he feels about it.  Because he should feel something, anything.  Joy definitely.  But apathy is all that he can muster and he’s not sure if that’s a bad thing.  He’s been at the piano for over two hours before the sound of his door unlocking is followed by Jinki’s smile.

“Hey.”  Taemin nods, absently, biting his lip while he watches Jinki’s shoes drop and closes his eyes when he’s given a kiss in greeting.  When he opens them, Jinki’s watching him in concern and he smiles when he’s asked, “You OK?”

“Yeah.  It’s nothing.  I just forgot that Jongin’s birthday is coming up and I got an invite to a surprise party for him.  Just not sure if I want to go.”

“Why wouldn’t you go?”

“There’s no reason.  I just…you want to come with me?”

“To your ex-boyfriend’s birthday party?”

“My friend.”

“When is it?”

“The 13th.”

“Friday the 13th?  There’s a themed party waiting to happen.”

“Yeah,” Taemin says, biting his lip again.

“Go.  Be with your friends.  You haven’t seen Amber in a while, right?  You shouldn’t have to spend the evening introducing me to everyone.  Just go enjoy yourself.”  He pats his knee as he stands.  “Just don’t get too wasted.  Three-day weekend and I don’t want to have to nurse you back to health for half of it.  I will,” he adds, turning back, “But I’d rather have another sexcation.”  Taemin nods, standing up and crossing the room to where he’d left his phone on the futon.  He picks it up and blows out a breath, opens a new message and tells Amber that he looks forward to seeing her Friday.

~

Taeyeon’s frowning when Jinki walks in.  He says ‘Hi’ and leans down to kiss her head when she abruptly asks where Taemin is.

“Birthday party.  For his ex.”  Her mouth opens and closes.  Another go and then she shakes her head.

“Does Taemin know about me?”

“Of course he does.  He’s met you.”

“No.  Me.  Me and Francesca.”  She hates it when he’s quiet but he’s taken off-guard by the question and he’s still processing when she asks, “Am I a secret?”  He laughs.

“No.  Just special.”

“So is he.”  Jinki nods in the quiet, finally sitting down beside her and taking her hand.

“Yes.”

“Does he know?”

“That he’s special?”

“About us.”  He shakes his head and begins playing with her fingers.

“No.”

“You should tell him.”

“I don’t know if I want to.  Not yet.”

“You could lose him.”  Jinki swallows as his chest tightens

“I could lose him anyway.”  She sighs and grabs at his hand, squeezing his palm.

“You love him.  And you should tell him.  Friends don’t keep secrets like this.”  Jinki scoffs and tries to pull away but Taeyeon only holds him tighter with both hands.  He relents and leans against the sofa.

“They do it all the time.”

“And someone always gets hurt.”

“At least it’ll only be me.”

“No, it won’t.  Because if he thinks you’re his friend, if he loves you too, he’ll know you’re hurting and he’ll want to heal you.  But he’ll be the source of your pain.  Imagine how that will feel.”

“I don’t have to imagine,” he mutters sadly.  “He’s already asked.  Twice.”

“What did you say?”

“That she was a story.  A memory.”

“What did he say?”  He reaches over and taps at the wrist with his cousin’s name on it.

“That we have the same memory.”

“We do.”

“We don’t,” he answers quickly.   “And I’m not…ready to explain that.”

“OK.  But…we both know how fragile these threads are, what could happen at any moment, what you’re risking by keeping silent and what you’re doing by telling him that he’s being kept out.  You cling so tightly to your guilt that the slivers of joy that try to break through are choked out.”  She pauses and sighs.  “You’re basically a dandelion, Jinki.”

“Dandelions are pretty, Tae.  The first flower I was given was a dandelion.”

“Francesca sounds so lovely.”  He bites his lip and nods, leans in and whispers, “A lot like you” before he kisses her hair.

“What do think she would want you to do?  Would she be happy?”  Jinki clenches his jaw as he shifts.

“Tae.”  The grip on his hand loosens and he pulls it away.  His tone is unfamiliar to them both, so few times has he used it with her.  It’s a warning, a reminder that there are still lines that even she isn’t allowed to cross and he’s allowed her freedom to cross ones few others are permitted past.  She licks her lips and nods.

“I just want you to be happy.”

“I am, Tae.”

“I know.  And that’s why you should tell him.”

~

“Fuck.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  Taemin looks at Eunsook in surprise.

“I didn’t know.  I’m just as shocked as you are.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Taem…does it bother you?”  Taemin taps the back of his head against the seat of Eunsook’s car and stares up at the sky.  Eunsook had come to pick him up after Amber had followed him when he’d passed the bathrooms and headed out the door.  Not the best response to hearing his ex proudly declare his engagement but it was the one his legs had had.  She’d stood with him until his sister showed up, hugging him tightly before heading back in.

“No.  I miss him but I don’t want him back.  I’m happy with Jinki.  I’m so fucking happy.  There’s just a sliver of rage when I think too hard about how it ended and right now it feels like someone’s shoving the sliver in.”

“I thought it was a good break up?” Eunsook asks, confused.

“We didn’t break up.  He left me.”

“Oh.  Taem…I’m-” She glances at him, stymied by a loss of words.

“It wasn’t earth-shattering or heart-breaking.  It was a shock but it wasn’t a blow.  More like when someone suggests going somewhere to eat and you’re surprised to realize that it’s exactly where you want to go.”

“Your analogies.”

“They’re getting married next month.”

“Wow.  I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to that.”

“However you feel like responding,” Taemin answers with a shrug.

“No, I genuinely don’t know how to respond.”

“She’s nice.  And pretty.  They both look very happy.”

“Then…why are you upset?”  He blows out a breath and stares at the moon.

“Because he moved on so quickly.”

“You weren’t exactly slow, Taem.”

“No.  But we broke up in February and he was living with someone in May.”

“May?!”

“And it’s selfish.  It’s completely selfish.  But I wish he had been as sad as I was.  I don’t want him to be sad.  I just…it hurt that it didn’t hurt him more.”

“Did you say May?”

“You’re missing the point.  Something died.  And when something dies, when something good dies it should be mourned.”  He looks down at his hands in his lap.  “I told you it’s selfish.”  Eunsook glances at him.

“Maybe.  At least you didn’t turn mean.  You said ‘Congratulations’ and wished them both well, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” he says with a shrug.  “It’s Jongin.”

At a red light, Eunsook reaches out and takes Taemin’s hand, playing with the fingers that remind her of their mother.

“Why did you move here?” she asks quietly.

“The rent was cheap and my lease was up.”

“Why here?  Why my building?”  A shrug is his reply, a frustrated sigh.  “Junghee said you ran to me.”  There’s no response so she continues, her smile sad.  “I think you ran to Minho.”

“He is my favorite.”

“I know.”

“And you...”  Taemin licks his lips and taps his fingers on his knee.  “You feed me the most.”  He glances at her, down again, and then gives her a little smile.  The light turns green and she pats the back of his hand as they start to move again.

“I’m always here for you.  Whether I’m round like a seal or back to my standard human form.  In thirty years when I regain some semblance of my mental prowess.”

“Thirty years?”

“The symbiont will be grown by then.  Perhaps joined by more if I’m foolish enough to make the attempt again.”

“Mom had five.”

“I honestly have no idea how,” Eunsook says with a shake of her head.  “Bless that woman.”

“Yes.”

“I know I won’t ever be ‘me’ again.  Not who I was before.  That’s always true but now there’s a new person relying on me, almost exclusively, to keep them alive and safe and I don’t even know who I am or who I’ll be.  It’s terrifying.  It’ll jolt out of nowhere and I suddenly understand why they paint pregnant women as imbalanced, driven by ‘crazy hormones’.  It’s easier to wrap every uneasy truth up into a token phrase and use it instead of analyzing the thought itself.  The worst are the moments when I’m alone, the best when I’m in bed with Minho.”

“Ew.”

“He’s there, then, to hold.  I can grab his hand and feel his fingers, touch his arm, listen to him breathe.  I know he’s there and I know he’s my friend and that I love him.  Sometimes I hope he’ll wake up and kiss me and use his words to convince me.  Mostly I hope he’ll sleep because he needs it and I don’t want him to be afraid too.”

Taemin reaches out and takes her hand.

“You’re going to be a great mom.”

“You’re going to be an OK uncle.  And you know, you’re holding a new hand now.  That’s a good thing.”

“That symbiont needs to emerge.  You’re a little terrifying like this.”

“Shut up,” Eunsook chuckles as she pulls into the apartment parking lot.

“Make me.”

“I hate you.”

“I…I love you too.”

 

Jinki’s awake when Taemin slips into his apartment.  The light from his bedroom burns through the hallway and Taemin drops his coat over the back of a chair as he follows its glow.  A smile greets him as he climbs onto the bed, a knee pressed to Jinki’s hip as he throws the other over Jinki’s waist.  Thumbs are lain against his hips and a soft “Hey, how was it?” asked.  He shakes his head and leans down, kisses Jinki with a smile.

“Nothing special.  I’m glad to be back.”

“I’m glad to have you back.”  Taemin gathers up Jinki’s hands in his own and shakes them gently.

“Come upstairs.  I want to try something.”

“What?”

“Something.”  He wiggles his hips and presses the hands to his chest, humming and rolling his hips when Jinki’s thumbs tickle his nipples.

“OK,” Jinki says as he flips them over so that Taemin is on his back before he can blink.  “Let’s go.”

 

The futon creaks beneath their knees and Taemin braces against the handle with one hand while he strokes himself with the other.

“Oh god.” he whispers, arching his back until his head rests on Jinki’s shoulder.  Their lips meet and Jinki’s fingers move from his hips to his chest, almost pulling him down.  Taemin bounces on the new angle, moaning into Jinki’s mouth.  “Fuck.”

Jinki licks into Taemin’s mouth and whispers, “I’m going to cum,” into his ear.  Taemin nods and pushes back harder, strokes quickening as the hold Jinki has on him tightens.  He listens to the sounds Jinki makes and feels his own burn take over.  Within minutes he has an arm resting lazily across Jinki’s damp collarbone, fingers playing with loose strands of hair.  Jinki’s lips move down from his temple to his mouth and he turns so that they’re facing each other, his back still against Jinki's chest but their lips pressed together.

Languid and warm, they catch their breaths by stealing each other’s, a respite after the second test of a second-hand futon’s endurance.  Taemin laughs when the frame creaks, a protest to all it had endured beneath them and drops his feet to the floor, pulling Jinki up after him.

“Should we…?”  Jinki gestures around the dark room scattered from the doorway to the piano with their clothes.

“Absolutely not,” Taemin grins, nipping at Jinki’s ear as he pulls him down the hall.  “We’re never getting dressed again.”

~

“Blue flamingo!”  Taemin cries as he wakes with a start, pushing up on his stomach so that his back is arched and he’s blinking at a blurry headboard.  Another pounding, what startled him awake in the first place, echoes down the hall and he groans when he recognizes the erratic pattern.  “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Double fuck,” he mutters, looking down at Jinki lying beside him.  An arm is tossed over his face and the tattoos are shadows.  “It’s Eunsook.”  He’s tugging the bedding over his head before groaning and tossing it all aside.  The floor is cold but he can’t remember where his slippers are, can barely see anything in the dark.  “Fucking phones fucking exist goddammit.”  Jinki’s chuckle has him glaring as he fumbles around for his phone.

“Just turn the light on.  We’re already awake.”

“No, go back to sleep.”

“You don’t want me to come out and say hi?”  Taemin’s panicked pause lasts too long and he cringes when he hears Jinki ask, “Wait.  Are you actually embarrassed?”

“No.  I just don’t want her to see you.”

“What?”

“Eunsook is-”

“Eunsook and I have met,” Jinki points out.  “I still say she has the hots for me,” he adds cheekily.

“Fuck off.  You know she was setting us up.”

“Then why would you be embarrassed for her to find out that it worked?”

“She knows it worked.”

“Then what’s the problem?”  Another violent thud at the door has Taemin whipping his head around and scrambling to find a pair of pants.  He manages to find a flannel pair hanging over a drawer and he knows his shirt is somewhere out on the living room floor.

“It’s nothing.  Just please, go back to sleep.”

“After you all but said you don’t want your sister to know I’m here?”

“She’ll know.  We weren’t…”  he tilts his head and nods in the dark when he hears Jinki’s soft “Oh”

“Shouldn’t we be out there cleaning up then?”

“No.  It’ll make it even worse.  My plan is to bum rush her back home before she has a chance to-” His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the front lock clicking and the door opening up, followed immediately by a flash of light from down the hall and Eunsook yelling “Get up!  You’ve got…holy fuck!”

“Dammit.”  Jinki chuckles as he crawls out of the bed on his side, coming up behind Taemin and kissing his neck.

“It’ll be fine.  It’s Eunsook.”

“That’s the point.”

“Just be mortified.  You’ll survive.”

“Ugh.”

“One thing though.”

“What?”

“I need pants.”

“Triple fuck.”

 

Eunsook’s standing in the middle of a storm of their discarded clothes, condom wrappers, and half-empty bottle of lube with a grin when they finally come out.  Her smile grows wider when she sees that Jinki’s wearing Taemin’s clothes.

“Good thing I made you get that cover for your futon, isn’t it?” she asks with a subtle nod.  Taemin groans and turns to head back to the bedroom, tugged into Jinki’s side before he makes it.

“Hey Eunsook.  Welcome to our fuck fort.”  Taemin groans louder as Eunsook bursts out laughing.  “Can I get you anything since you’re here?”

“Oh!” Eunsook exclaims, hand at her chest.  “Offering refreshments for a visitor?”

“You’re not a visitor,” Taemin grumbles.  “You’re an invader.”

“Nothing for me, thanks.”

“Why are you here?  It’s-” Taemin looks over at the microwave and lets out a howl of frustration “it’s 4 in the goddamn morning, Eunsook.”

“Minjung got engaged last night.  I thought it would be nice to message her and Jongmi together this morning.”  Jinki chuckles as Taemin grips his arm, eyes wide as he begins to vibrate with excitement.

“Really?!”

“I did message you.  A dozen times.  Sorry Jinki,” she says, turning toward him.  “I honestly didn’t know you were here.  Should have.  Guess I just got too excited.”  He shakes his head and puts his hand up.

“No problem.  This is exciting news.  You should go.”  Taemin looks over at him before turning back to Eunsook who glances down at his chest and back up with a raised brow.  He flushes as he begins running back to the bedroom.

“Just let me put a shirt on.”

 

Jinki’s fallen asleep by the time Taemin gets back.  He slips in beside him and wraps his arm around the other’s waist, smiling in the dark as he too falls back asleep.

 

“How’s your sister?” Jinki asks as he makes them breakfast.

“Which one?” Taemin clarifies lazily from where he swivels on the barstool.

“Any of them.”

“Minjung’s ecstatic.  Jongmi too.  They’re so in love.”  He laughs, tapping at the counter.  “Everyone’s getting engaged this weekend.”

“Who else is getting engaged?”

“Jongin.”  Jinki turns off the stove and turns to look at him.

“What?”

“Next month.  It wasn’t just a birthday party, it was an engagement party.”

“An an engagement part?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait.  Is that why last night happened?”

“What?” Taemin’s eyes widen in horror.  “No!”

“Then what?”

“I-” He stops, watching Jinki in confusion, growing angry as he realizes what Jinki’s thinking.

“Fuck.”  Jinki’s running his fingers through his hair and nodding.

“Jinki?”

“Taemin just…back off for a moment.”  He begins moving toward the doorway, halfway there when he turns and says, “I’m not a fucking consolation prize because you’re upset about your ex-boyfriend and I don’t appreciate being used as one.”  Taemin stands then, frustration and fear making his heart pound.

“For fuck’s sake, Jinki, I was with him for seven years.  You don’t just walk away from that, it doesn’t just end when it’s over.  My memories for over a decade include him.  So yeah, it threw me off.”  His brow furrows as he frowns.  “We’re friends, we’re not fucking, we’re not in love.  And I don’t understand.  And I don’t care, Jinki.  It’s confusing but I don’t care.  Because yours are the only hands I want to hold, you’re the one I want to argue with about driving and bills and what to eat, about painting living room walls.  I love kissing you and I love taking baths with you and I hate that you keep the apartment so dark and I hate the way your shampoo smells but I love the way it smells on you.”  Jinki’s blank face angers him further and a dam that he had built up against the part of Jinki that makes him hurt suddenly breaks.  “So fuck you for thinking anything else.  Besides,” Taemin continues, pointing at Jinki, “you have this whole whole world you’ve built that you won’t let me be a part of.  I see it every day in your face and on your skin.”

“Taemin...”

“I didn’t tell you Jongin’s getting married because it doesn’t matter.  But I’ve told you everything that was important,” Taemin seethes through gritted teeth.  “I’ve told you things I’ve told no one else, not even my best friends.  Not even Amber knows how we broke up.  You were the only one.”  Jinki’s arms cross and he frowns.

“This is totally different.”

“Is it?  Because you said you wanted to be close to me, that you wanted to know me.  But you lied!”  Jinki bristles.

“I never lied, Taemin.”

“Omission is deceit, Jinki.  You said you wanted to be close to me but you never said that you didn’t want me to be close to you!  That you didn’t want me to know you.”  Enraged, he grabs a pile of sheet music and throws it across the room, the pages falling to the ground like snowflakes.  The imagery makes him angrier.

“Taemin.”

“No!  You don’t get to do this, Jinki.  You don’t get to get mad at me for not telling you something so insignificant when you keep pushing me out.”

“What?”

“I’m going home.”

“Taemin.”

“You don’t trust me, Jinki.  And that’s-”

“Taemin, this is your home.”  Taemin glances down at the sheet music scattered across the carpet and puffs out a breath of air.  He looks back up at Jinki and blinks.

“Then you go home.”

“I was.”

They stand in stony silence until Jinki’s arms fall and his anger melts to sadness.  “But I’m not.  I do trust you, Taemin.  Look at it from my side, though.  The same night you find out your ex is getting married you don’t tell me you’re upset.  You tell me you want to have sex on your futon.”

“That’s not…no, that’s not why.  Not exactly.  I was upset at first, yes.  But then I realized I got to go home to you.  I’m so happy to have you, Jinki.  I am so in love with you.  And all I want to do when I get scared or sad is be with you.  And yeah, I should have told you.  I’m just…ashamed.  That it bothered me.”  Taemin chuckles as he rubs his wrist.  “I’m the one not trusting, huh?”

“Yeah, but,” Jinki murmurs as he steps forward, brushing Taemin’s hair back and then taking him into his arms.  “I gave you a good a reason to.”  

Taemin slips his arms around Jinki’s waist, resting his hands on Jinki’s hips as he whispers, “Don’t go.”

“No.”  A little fluff of Taemin’s hair is a reconciliation.  He patterns his own fingers over the etchings in Jinki’s skin.

“You’re not a consolation prize,” he murmurs.  “You’re just a regular prize.  Like in a cereal box.  A decoder ring.”

“You’re not old enough to remember decoder rings.”

“There are enough of you old folks around me to reminisce of such things.  I’ve heard it told of old.”  Jinki chuckles as he lets his arms slip away.  He takes Taemin’s hand in his own and pulls him to sit down on the floor.

“I want you in my life, Taem.  I want to tell you all my stories.  I just…I can’t.”

“Why?”

Jinki shifts and sighs.  Taemin reaches out a hand to rest on his thigh, grateful when Jinki picks it up and holds it in his own.

“Taeyeon and I... I don’t usually tell anyone,” Jinki starts, eyes on the floor but he’s still bouncing Taemin’s palm in his own.  A sigh blows through his lips as he leans back, tugging Taemin along.  He’s surprised when Jinki shifts so that now his head rests in Taemin’s lap.  He watches for a moment before he begins slowly running his fingers through Jinki’s hair.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Yes, I do,” Jinki says, crossing his arms.  “Taeyeon’s making me.”  Taemin laughs and kisses Jinki’s forehead.

“Ah.  Then you have no choice.”

“No.  And…I want to.”  The arms uncross and a hand reaches out that Taemin grabs and squeezes.  A shaky breath vibrates against his leg and then Jinki begins to speak.

He tells Taemin about his cousin Francesca who fell in love with a girl on the bus.  A beautiful girl, she had told him, with long black hair and the odd habit of dancing at the bus stop.  A full week passed with her texting Jinki a detailed description of what the girl wore and how she sat.  Finally, Francesca got up the nerve to sit next to her and say hello.  Another three days and a question was posed, something Jinki’s forgotten but wishes he remembered.  Then numbers were exchanged, texts that Francesca eagerly showed her cousin when they met on the weekend.  Then a picture of the two of them smiling.  Out of town, Francesca told him with a pout, without cell phone reception, when he asked.  A full week she’d have to wait until the girl from the bus came back.  When the cousins saw each other again, two days later after the girl’s return, Francesca blushed and relayed how they had had their first kiss in the bus doorway just before the doors closed and she was left to wave good-bye from the sidewalk.

Two months of talking and texting, riding the bus together and Francesca speaking of the girl with a dreamy smile and plans for the future.  They were going to come up for a visit, Jinki was finally going to meet the much celebrated Nini in person.  They canceled and rescheduled, Nini again having to travel with her parents to visit an elderly relative.  Francesca pouted and made a new list of things they would do as a trio.  

And then she died.

“Things just happen,” Jinki murmurs, “with or without reason.  We’re tiny specks on a stage we didn’t construct and don’t understand.  We grasp at religion and philosophy because the truth is terrifying and unfair, cruel and irrational.”  Taemin squeezes his hand and listens as Jinki takes a breath.  

Seventeen, a senior in high school who would have graduated in two months.  An April afternoon that was damp but sunny and Francesca was at the bus stop in a polka dot dress and a pair of flats waiting with a clot that chose the moment the bus turned the corner to break.  Within hours Taeyeon would have a new heart and Jinki would be in an empty waiting room with a pounding headache and eyes that burned from crying.  Jonghyun would be there and so would her parents, their presence adding to the confusion and leading him to, more than once, assume that it was all a dream.   Nini would return and Jinki would be holding Francesca’s phone in his hand when a picture of them kissing lit up the screen with her call.  He stared at it too long and eventually the picture disappeared and the phone went dark, buzzing with the notification of a missed call and a new voice-mail.  Too late he realized he didn’t know Francesca’s code.  Later, Jonghyun would hold his hand while he sent a message from his own phone and let Nini know when and where the wake would be.  An angry call was her response and he let her curse at him in fury.  They cried together when he confirmed that their worst fears were real and told her again that she would be welcome at the wake.  And that’s how he met the girl his cousin had fallen in love with.

“Things just happen,” Jinki murmurs again.  Taemin nods silently, runs his fingers through Jinki’s hair, and waits.   “She was very pretty.  And nice.  They probably would have been happy together.  She moved away soon after.  College.

“The shock finally wore off and then I was just angry.  All the time.  Jonghyun tried to stay but…it’s amazing he talks to me at all.  A few months later Taeyeon tracked me down, showing up on my doorstep with her cane in one hand and Kibum’s hand in the other.  And I just…broke.  She broke me.  In a good way.  Just followed me around and made bad jokes and did little things that reminded me of Francesca, little things that she said she never did or thought until the surgery.  They talk about cellular memory and how transplant recipients develop the habits and personalities of their donors.  Maybe.  Anyway, the tattoos were her idea and we got them that April.  Drew was born two years later.  My godson.

“That’s the story that Taeyeon and I share.  That’s what’s on her wrist and on my chest.”

“What was she like, Francesca?”  Jinki’s quiet for too long and Taemin’s fingers slow, nervous now that he’s asked the wrong question.

“No, not today,” Jinki whispers.  Taemin nods and leans down again, kissing the tear that slips over Jinki’s cheek.

“No.  Not today.”  Another few minutes pass in silence.  The hand not in Jinki’s hair rubs his arm as Taemin tentatively asks, “Are we OK now?”

“Everyone fights.”

“Yeah.”  There’s another pause and then to his surprise Jinki starts laughing.

“Do you really hate my shampoo?”  Taemin laughs as well, patting Jinki’s arm.

“Yes.  I really do.”

~

Taemin bows before his parents and wonders what Jinki’s doing.  Visiting with Taeyeon and Kibum and Drew, he knows.  At this moment, though, he wonders what exactly he’s doing.  He smiles at his parents and hugs his mother, another hug from his father, and a quick duck from his sisters to hide behind the eldest.  He knows he should be focused on the present, on being with his family, and celebrating a new year just now born.  He can’t help himself.  He’s in love.

Later, when the rest of the family is peppering Minjung and Jongmi with questions about their engagement, Taemin steps outside and climbs up familiar, albeit rickety steps to the one place he can be assured of privacy when he makes the call.

“Hey,” is the bright greeting from Jinki’s end of the line.  He narrows his eyes and looks to the side of Taemin with amusement.  “Where are you?”

“Tree house,” he answers matter-of-factly, a flannel blanket he’d snuck out of the living room tucked over his head and shoulders.

“You have a tree house?”

“My parents have a tree house.”

“Is your name on it?”  Taemin glances up at the wall in front of him, the one with his name etched in the wood.  The truth is that he’s sitting in the fort he used to fight pirates in when he was a child, the one where he used to hide with Jongin when they were only friends.  The only place he’s ever been safe from his sisters.

“Yes.”

“You have a tree house.”  A tree house full of memories, he thinks.

“How are your parents?” he asks, changing the subject.  Jinki didn’t talk about them much, they were a background to his life though one that brought him joy when they came to the forefront.

“Good.  Their shop is doing better than last year and they still love me.”  Taemin nods.

“That’s good.”

“Taeyeon and Kibum came by with the squirt for a quick visit.”

“Also good.”

“They’re going to a fancy hotel Valentine’s weekend and want to know if we can watch the squirt.”

“Are you asking me?” Taemin asks, confused.

“Not so much asking as telling you that I already have a date for Valentine’s so don’t bother asking.”

“You’re ditching me for a younger man?  How dare you.”

“You’re welcome to join us for the annual day-after chocolate sale.”

“Yes!  Count me the fuck in!”

“Only if you vow to not use ‘fuck’ in front of my impressionable godson.  It’s bad enough he has to hear that sort of language from his mother.”  Taemin shrugs.

“Whatever gets me the chocolate.”

 

The next day, Taemin clings to Jinki and breathes in the smell of his soap and shampoo and smiles, happy to be near him again.

“How do you feel about weddings?” he asks, not letting go.

“Why Taemin Lee, are you asking me to marry you?”  Taemin leans back, squinting and watching Jinki’s smile bloom.

“If I did would you say yes?”

“Absolutely…not.”

“You would deny my request for your hand in marriage?”

“Absolutely.”  Jinki kisses his head as he pries his hand off.

“I’m heart-broken,” Taemin pouts.

“While in theory I like the idea of a whirlwind romance culminating in a declaration of devotion and a signing of an at-the-moment legal document,” Jinki announces as he heads into the kitchen and a half-sliced apple, “in practice I think we should know each other for more than six months before doing so.”

“So anyway,” Taemin says pointedly, “Minjung, as you know, is getting married.”

“I do know that.”

“And I want you to come.”

“Aw.  Such a generous lover.”  Taemin pauses, bursting into a fit of laughter when he catches the joke.

“To the wedding,” he says, still laughing.  “I want you to attend the wedding with me.”

“You want me to be your date?”

“Yes, please.”

“Ah.”  Jinki turns back to his slicing and Taemin waits impatiently for him to continue.

“Oh my god, Jinki,” he says in exasperation.  “Please be my date?  Please please please please?!”  He grabs Jinki’s sleeve, punctuating every plea with a tug.

“Of course, I’ll be your date.  I’d love to come with you.”

“You’re so gross,” Taemin laughs.

“Will there be dancing?”

“Probably.  I’ll let you lead.”

“No,” Jinki smiles as he places Taemin’s hand at his waist.  “I like it when you lead.”  Taemin grins and they begin to sway.

“Is it too much to ask if you want to get married in the future?”

“No.  That sounds like something most couples would talk about.”

“Do you want to get married in the future?”

“I hadn’t ever thought about it.  It wasn’t legal and there wasn’t anyone I thought ‘Yes!  I need to get my finances tied with that person!’”

“Why is it about money with you?”

“A friend got divorced and it was crazy expensive and they found out during the divorce that debt had been written up in their name.  A break up is bad enough but to have your credit ruined, your name basically, is just too much of a risk.”

“So, that’s a no,” Taemin sighs.

“That’s a maybe.  Like I said, there wasn’t anyone before.”

“You should get me a promise ring.”  Taemin wiggles his eyebrows and Jinki rolls his eyes.

“I’m not getting you a promise ring.”

“You never buy jewelry.”

“I don’t buy you flowers either.”

“I suppose I’ll just be satisfied with steak,” he concedes reluctantly.

“I do like to fill my man with meat,” Jinki teases with a grin.

“Am I your man?”

“My Tae man.”

“You made a pun out of my name.  I can’t believe you made a pun out of my name.”

“I can’t believe it took me this long.”

“That too.”  They’re still dancing in the living room, Taemin’s hand at Jinki’s waist and Jinki’s hand at his shoulder.  The hands they hold keep fidgeting and breaking apart, Jinki tickling Taemin’s palm with his thumb and he only stops once Taemin links their fingers.  Taemin follows as Jinki starts exaggerating his hip movements and it’s when he dips them sideways that he finally asks, “What are you doing?”

“A little tea pot.”

“A little tea pot?  That’s not romantic!”  Jinki only grins and dips them again.

“It’s sexy!”

“A little tea pot?!”

He pulls Taemin flush and murmurs, “All hot and steamy.”  He pulls away again and spins himself.  “It’s a song about sex.  Just think about the lyrics.”  Taemin snorts and pulls Jinki back, distracting him with a little nip at his lips.

“Just promise you won’t dance the little teapot dance at my sister’s wedding.”

“Absolutely not,” Jinki promises, halfway into a dip before Taemin realizes and quickly catches him.  As he stands back up he adds, “It’s too obscene to dance in public.”

~

“Quick reminder that our weekend is going to be awesome!” Taemin yells as he slides a few feet across Jinki’s kitchen floor in his socks.  He cups a hand behind his ear and leans in dramatically.  “Where are Taeyeon and Kibum going?”

“To a fancy hotel for the weekend!”

“And we’re?!”

“Watching Drew while they’re gone and hitting the stores first thing on the 15th to grab up all the cheap chocolate we can!”

“Hell yes!”  Taemin throws up his hand and Jinki smacks it with glee.

Drew sleeps with Jinki in the bedroom and Taemin sleeps on a bed that folds out from Jinki’s couch that he, until Jinki was pulling it out, didn’t realize existed.  Jinki’s bed is too small for the three and Drew is a sideways sleeper.  Taemin didn’t want to wake up alone so a compromise was made.

The next morning, he wakes up to a warmth and heaviness on his pillow and when he opens his eyes and looks up he is surprised to find Drew sleeping with his arm over his head.  They are both asleep when Jinki comes out an hour later, Taemin smiling in his sleep.  A quick breakfast and a dozen snacks tossed in a bag leads them into a day spent at two separate playgrounds and the discount candy bins of five separate stores.  Taemin takes a picture of Jinki asleep on the sofa with Drew in his arms, both of their mouths smudged with bits of chocolate.  A thought crosses his mind and he rubs at the warmth of it in his chest.

 

“I’m going to kick his ass,” Eunsook mutters, phone in one hand as she kicks her brother’s door with another.  A palm is braced against the frame and she breathes through the contraction with eyes closed, lips pursed as she kicks the door again before dialing his number for the fifth time.

“For fuck’s sake, Taemin, answer your goddamn fucking phone.”

The elevator ride down is spent grumbling about Taemin’s “magic hands” and the “goddamn irresponsibility” of her brother.  Jinki’s door gets the same treatment as Taemin’s though this time a face pops out in response to her assault.

“Eunsook,” Jinki says with surprise.  “Hey.”

“Hey.  I’m-” She stops short when she sees a raven-haired child standing in the middle of the living room sipping on a juice box.  Instinctively, she holds her belly tight and tries to come up with a new plan before another contraction hits.  “Never mind.  It’s fine.  Tell Taemin it was nothing, I’m sorry I left so many messages.”  She grimaces and begins to turn, nearly making it to the door when Taemin’s exclamation of, “Holy fuck!  You’re in labor?!” and rapid footfalls grow near.  He bursts out of the hallway with a grin, phone in hand.

“There’s a child right there, Taemin!” she snaps, pointing to the little boy who shyly waves.  The move surprises her and she waves back with a little smile.

“Sorry, sorry.  We need to go, then.  Get you to the hospital.”

“There’s a child right there, Taemin,” Eunsook repeats, still watching them sip on their juice.

“Drew,” Jinki interjects, “My godson.  He has a booster seat, he’ll be fine.  Let’s go.”

“Meet me at the car!” Taemin calls out as he disappears out the door and down the hall.

“You should stay here with him,” Eunsook says, tilting her chin at Drew.  “He shouldn’t be at a hospital.”

“He’ll be fine.  His dad’s a nurse and he likes hospitals.  Don’t you, buddy?”

The child nods and says, “The machines are fun.”  Eunsook looks at Jinki in confusion who laughs and says, “Food machines.”

“Oh.  I can take an Uber…”

“Eunsook, you’re in labor,” Jinki points out, panic beginning to lace his voice.  “We need to get you to the hospital.  I have a car, Drew has a booster seat,” he says, reaching a hand out to his godson, “and the vending machines in the basement are awesome.  Let’s go.”  Drew steps forward and takes Jinki’s hand, happily adding, “I like the cheeseburgers.”

When they get downstairs, Taemin has a bag across his shoulder and is just hanging up the phone at his ear.

“I’ve called the hospital and Minho.  He’ll meet us there as soon as he can.”  Eunsook looks at him in surprise as Jinki buckles Drew into his booster seat.

“How did you…?”

“Minho’s been making me run drills since your second trimester,” he explains with a shrug.  “We needed to be prepared for the inevitable symbiont rebellion.  Now, get in.”  She grabs his arm and squeezes.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“It’s good this is finally happening,” Eunsook says with a laugh as she gingerly climbs into the car.  “This symbiont is changing the very fabric of reality.”

 

Taemin looks up from his seat next to Eunsook’s bed as Minho bursts in.

“Oh, thank god,” he says as he stands, “I was afraid I’d have to be here for the whole thing.

“I haven’t even begun pushing you brat!”  Eunsook exclaims.  Taemin leans down to kiss her forehead, patting Minho on the shoulder as he steps out of the room.

Jinki and Drew are waiting in the little reception area playing with blocks at a child’s table.  Jinki’s elbows are at his knees and he’s hunched over with a look of concentration.

“Minho’s here so we can go now.”

“We’re fine,” Jinki says absently, adding a sixth block to a teetering tower.

“We’re building,” Drew adds.  Taemin folds his arms and leans against the doorway watching, thinking about children and how good Jinki is with this one, how good his sister will be with hers, and wondering how well he’ll fair himself.

Taeyeon calls just as Minho comes to the doorway and shouts, “The symbiont is here!”  Jinki waves a hand as he finishes up his call and Taemin leaves him with Drew to follow after Minho.

“That was quick.”

“You weren’t the one pushing a small human out of a smaller hole.”

“…OK.”

Minho leaves him in Eunsook’s room to go find a nurse and ask a question.  “Another one,” Eunsook emphasizes in exasperation.  Taemin takes a seat beside the bed and looks at the wrinkly newborn sleeping in his sister’s arms.

“You’re a mom now,” he says, looking at the baby in awe.  Eunsook smiles at them tiredly.

“I know.”

“A whole new person is here because of you.”

“And Minho,” she corrects.

“Nah,” Taemin teases with a sly grin, “You’re the one that set the symbiont free.”  Eunsook laughs and nods.

“Yeah but…Minho held my hand.”

“Do you have a name yet?”

“Not yet.  We’ve only just met face-to-face.”

“Just don’t name them after a dog.”

“Well I was named after an aunt,” Eunsook points out, “So there’s already precedent for using family names.”  Taemin bursts out laughing, covering his mouth quickly when the baby begins to squirm.  Their mouth opens in the cutest little yawn and their gloved fists bump up against their chin as they settle back into sleep.

“Don’t name your child after me.”

“You’re so arrogant.  If we were going to name them after anyone it would be Minseok.”

Taemin frowns and whispers, “Hey!”  Eunsook just shakes her head and looks down at the sleeping baby.

“We’ll see.  There’s no rush.  We’re just getting to know each other.”  Taemin nods, freezing when she asks, “Do you want to hold them?”

“Oh.  Uh…sure.”  He takes the infant, awkward at first and slowly growing comfortable when the baby continues to sleep in his arms.  “Holy fuck,” he whispers, glancing quickly up at Eunsook and muttering, “Sorry” before looking back down at the sleeping infant.  An uncle, it slowly dawns on him, he’s really an uncle.

 

The ride back to the apartment is quiet, Drew asleep in the backseat and picked up by his parents an hour after they arrive back at Jinki’s apartment.  Sleepily, they eat a quick meal of canned soup and brush their teeth, Taemin clinging to Jinki’s shirt as he follows him to the bed.

 

“Come join me.”  The blankets shift and Jinki can barely make out Taemin’s retort.  “What?”

Taemin’s head pops out.  “I said, ‘ _ You _ come join  _ me _ .’”

“Taem.”

“It’s cold out there,” Taemin moans, burrowing back beneath the blanket.  “It’s warm here.  And I’m hot.”  He pokes his head out and makes a clicking sound as he winks and Jinki pats his foot.

“We’ll have cocoa after.”

“Keep talking.”

“What?”

“Rewards, man.  Bribe me out of this bed.”

“Mmm.  How about a kiss for every sit up and you can sit on my back for ten push-ups?”

“How many sit ups?”

“100.”

“Tempting.  What about after?  When you’re all hot and sweaty and full of cocoa?”

“Shower.”

“Nothing in between?”

“Up to and including third base.”  Taemin bursts out laughing, flailing around in the bedding until his face completely disappears.  There’s a  _ thunk _ on the side of the bed that Jinki can’t see and he leans over only to find Taemin curled up on the floor, still laughing.

“Do we have a deal?”

“As soon as you help me off the floor.”

 

“1.”

_ kiss _

“1.”

_ kiss _

“1.”

_ kiss _

“Taem?”

“What?”

“I’ve done at least a dozen sit-ups by now.”  Jinki’s eyes narrow as Taemin’s widen.  He watches as he shakes his head, his bottom lip poking out.

“I only count 1.  Just like I said.”

“Taemin.”

“Jinki.”

“If you keep that up we’ll be here forever.”

“OK.”

“I’ll be too tired to do anything more,” he says, emphasizing the last word, “and will be stuck here on the floor weak and useless.”

“You won’t be useless,” Taemin replies, eyes still wide.  Jinki grows suspicious at the soft tone the other is using.  “You’ll be warm and soft.  The perfect pillow.”  He snorts when Jinki shoves his shoulder, pouting when Jinki starts his crunches again with turned-in lips.  

Five missed kisses and he’s rolling his eyes, muttering “Fine, fine.”  He purses his lips and makes a smacking noise.  

“Six.”  

_ kiss   _

“Seven.”

_ kiss   _

“Eight.”

 

Taemin’s lying across Jinki’s body, his head resting over Jinki’s heart.  The fingers of one hand lay limply on the carpet while the others rest beside Jinki’s as he listens to the  _ thump, thump, thump _ from just above his rib.  Jinki has one hand resting on the back of Taemin’s head and the other tucked beneath his own.  He’s staring at the ceiling while Taemin’s breaths puff against his chest.

_ Thump, thump, thump. _

Nothing happened, nothing of consequence.  Just a cup of cocoa and a few sticky kisses, Jinki a little flushed from exercise with a sheen of perspiration that Taemin wiped away with his hand and a smile.  Somewhere in-between Taemin had moved them from the sofa onto the floor and from beside each other to lying on the ground with him draped over Jinki.  A protective blanket against nothing though Jinki’s beginning to think maybe he’s actually the blanket.  He raises his head and kisses Taemin’s hair before lying back down.

_ Thump, thump, thump. _

Taemin’s just listening.  Part of him is thinking about Taeyeon and the Braille at her wrist and what it means.  Part of him is thinking about Jinki and what the name beneath Taemin’s head represents.  There’s another part, a piece he refuses to touch for more than a moment because he knows he wouldn’t be able to bear what it would cost him to do so.  Instead he thinks about how lucky he is.  Four sisters.  He has four.  They live, they laugh, they fight, they ruffle his hair and call him their “favorite brother” and everything but his name.  One of them is married with a baby, one of them is soon to be wed, one of them is in love with someone he’s never met, and one of them is in love with no one.  They love him, though, and each other.  And they’re alive.  He can touch them, hear new thoughts from their voices, will argue with them soon.  He blinks and turns his thoughts back to Jinki and the warmth beneath his cheek and ear, the rise and fall of lungs that fill with air beneath the heart that beats  _ thump, thump, thump _ .  He drags his fingers up to Jinki’s side and pushes himself up so that his face hovers over Jinki’s.

Warm eyes meet his, a little smile that’s familiar and kind.  He leans down and kisses familiar lips, smiles because they’re familiar and because he likes them and because he remembers what comes next.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You owe me a shower.”

“Yes.”  Taemin bites his lip and leans down to brush his nose against Jinki’s.  Another kiss and then he’s standing up, reaching out and helping up the man he loves, pulling him down the hallway and into the bathroom.  The door clicks closed as the water begins to pour.


	4. Spring

“Help me!”

Jinki pulls the phone away from his ear, grimacing at the sting from Taemin’s shouting.  He switches to speaker and puts it down, leaning on crossed arms over the counter.

“What’s wrong?”

“Eunsook left me with the baby!”  He chuckles, picking the phone back up and heading toward his shoes.

“Why?”  There’s a pause on the line as he slips a foot into one sneaker, squishing the back down with his heel.

“I asked her to.”  The other shoe is slipped on as Jinki barely contains his laughter.

“Then why are you calling for help?”

“Because I…I may have overestimated my ability to care for a sloppy human.”  He hums as he closes his door, speaker now switched off and phone against his ear as he heads for the stairs.

“Nice way to talk about the sprout.”

“So many fluids, Jinki.  So many fluids.”

“I’m sure you’re doing fine,” Jinki assures him as he walks through the doorway onto Taemin’s floor.

“Jinki.  Please.”

“But just in case, I’m already at your door.”  There’s a loud patter of footsteps and the sound of something being being hit.  His phone is tucked away just as Taemin opens the door, crying baby clutched to his chest.  A rag is tossed over one shoulder and he looks absolutely frantic.

“Oh thank god!” he exclaims as he grasps at Jinki’s neck with one hand, tugging him down into an awkward hug.  “I’ve given them food, I’ve checked their diaper, everything I can think of!  I don’t know what else to do!  Help!  Please!”

“I’m just here to see the sprout,” Jinki says calmly, eyes on the infant.  “Hey bud,” he coos, taking the baby into his arms.  “Did you misbehave?  Is Umma punishing you by leaving you with him?”

“Hey!” Taemin cries from where he’s closing the door.

“Were you crying at night?  Is that what it was?”  He picks up a discarded baby blanket and begins wrapping the baby in it.  “Did you pee on her while she was changing you?”  The baby is rolled onto their front in Jinki’s arms, their back rubbed as Jinki continues to postulate.  “Spit up one too many times?”  Soon the infant is asleep and Jinki continues to rock them back and forth in his arms.

“How did…how did you do that?”  He shrugs.

“Practice.  I do have a godson you know.”  Taemin blows out a breath and flops down on the futon.  The rag shifts as he begins to tuck his arms behind his head and he makes a face as he tugs it off and runs down the hall with it.  When he comes back he has three more in hand and tosses them on the futon as he sits back down.  “Here,” Jinki says as he bends down and begins handing over the baby.  Taemin hesitates before taking them into his arms, rocking them gently.  “You’ll get the hang of it.  You’re doing great.”

“Are you sure?” he asks doubtfully.

“Yes, definitely.  You don’t have to rock them,” he adds as he sits down beside the pair, “just hold them.”  He puts his arm across the back of the futon and plays with the loose strands of Taemin’s hair.  “They like pressure and warmth, things that remind them of their first home.  You can sing to them too, if you want.”

“You sing,” Taemin sighs.  “You can put us both down for a nap.”  He looks up at Jinki and smiles, leaning in for a kiss.  A few tunes are sung by Jinki, mostly ballads that have Taemin relaxing and nearly falling asleep.  The little bassinet Eunsook had brought over is pulled out to the center of the room and Taemin tucks the baby inside.  He lies down with his head on Jinki’s thigh, fingers tucked in his sleeves as he closes his eyes.

“Have you ever thought about being a dad?”  The urge to sleep is broken by the question and he wraps his arms across his chest in response.

“Sometimes.”

“Do you think you want to?”

“Maybe.”

“It’ll be spring soon.”  Taemin rolls his eyes at the abrupt shift in topic and softly punches Jinki’s thigh.

“Finally.  Rain storms.”

“Hey, have you noticed that all the seasons have six letters?”

“Fall only has four,” Taemin says with a frown.

“Autumn is six.  Autumn, Winter, Spring, Summer.”

“Oh.  Yeah.”

“The best things have six letter names.”  Taemin turns a cheeky grin over his shoulder.

“Am I a thing?”

“One and two,” Jinki confirms, poking Taemin’s nose twice for emphasis.

“So, what are you, The Cat in the Hat?”

“The Cat in the Hat locked them up in a box.  So, unless you’re into that sort of thing...”

“Oh my god.”  Taemin turns back and closes his eyes, fingers pressing into his eyelids.

“Besides,” Jinki continues, “If we’re talking about people with six letter names then for me it would be Drew.”

“That’s only four letters,” Taemin points out with a laugh.

“Andrew is six.”

“Oh.  Well then I choose Minsoo.”  The baby shifts at the sound of their name, a little fist punch before falling back asleep.

“Of course, Jinki is only five letters.”  Taemin giggles as he’s tickled, turning over so that he can pinch Jinki’s side.  “Besides,” Jinki adds, “This only makes sense in English.  You are, though, my favorite Taemin.”  Taemin smiles and reaches up to poke Jinki’s cheek.

“And you’re my favorite Jinki.”

 

Three hours and a quick nap on Jinki’s thigh later, Taemin’s playing a song for the baby when Eunsook and Minho arrive at the door.  Eunsook moves quickly across the room to where the baby lies beside Jinki on the floor giggling.  Minho, in contrast, has an easy smile.

“Thank you for watching the baby,” he says calmly, eyeing his wife whose tension has immediately melted now that she has her child in his arms.  “How did it go?”

“Good,” Taemin answers easily, glancing over at Jinki who’s moved to the futon., “Jinki’s a pro and I’ve learned a lot today.”

“Good, good,” Minho says with a chuckle, rubbing Eunsook’s back as she joins them at the doorway.

“Thanks, Taem,” she adds with a little kiss to his cheek, a surprise show of affection that has become more common since Minsoo’s birth.

“That’s what OK uncles are for,” he answers with a shrug.  She laughs and waves at Jinki and then they disappear down the hall.

“Thank god,” Taemin moans as he closes the door, leaning against it with closed eyes.  “I thought they were never coming back.”

“It was only three hours, Taem.  I guarantee it was more traumatic for Eunsook than for you.”  Taemin ignores the statement and grabs Jinki’s hand, tugging him down the hall to his bedroom.

“Come with me.”

“Why?  What are- _ oof! _ ”  Jinki tumbles to the mattress, Taemin on top of him and tugging Jinki’s shirt off over his head.

“I need Onew.”

“Onew?”  Taemin pushes Jinki’s arm aside and snuggles in the space in-between, petting the scales of the dragon tattooed at his side.

“Onew.”

“My fire breathing dragon is named ‘Onew’?”

“Correction.  Your fur-breathing dragon is named ‘Onew’.  Now shush.  Less talking, more cuddling.”  They lie in silence, Taemin’s face disappeared beneath Jinki’s arm and Jinki fingers resting on his shoulder as he chuckles.  Suddenly Taemin’s face pops up with a smile.

“We should go to the park.”

“And do what?”

“Play on the playground,” Taemin responds as though it were obvious.

“Like swings and slides?”

“Yes.”

“It’s kind of damp out,” Jinki says, thinking about the mud the early arrival of spring showers has created in the courtyard.

“Exactly.”  He looks down at Taemin and raises a brow.

“Explain.”

“No kids.”

“Ooh.  So, a playground all to ourselves that’s all slippery and cold?”

“You’ll love it.”

“It actually does sound like fun,” he concedes.  “Which one should we go to?”

“The one over on 80th.”

“The one that just happens to be two blocks down from the steak house?”

“Is it?” Taemin asks with feigned innocence, eyes wide.

“Why yes, Taemin, it is,” he confirms as he pokes Taemin’s nose

“What a coincidence.”

Jinki chuckles as they stand up and head to the door, slipping on their jackets and putting on their shoes.  He grabs a scarf that he begins slowly tying around Taemin’s neck.  “If we don’t play tag I’m not paying.”

“What do I win if I win?” Taemin asks with a grin.

“How does one win at tag between two people?”

“Why are you asking me?  You’re the one who wants to play.”  The lights are turned off and the door closed behind them as they begin walking to the car.

“We should have some contest though, something to win.”

“A day spent with me isn’t prize enough?”  They open their doors in unison and laugh as they slip into their respective seats.

“No, never,” Jinki says as he leans over.  “I need nights too.”  Taemin smiles into the kiss pressed to his lips.

 

They’ve barely stepped out of the car before Taemin yells “You’ll never catch me!” over his shoulder, running through the chain link fence surrounding the park.

Jinki quickly chases after him as they both slip on patches of damp earth.  Almost immediately it begins to drizzle, a cool sprinkling of rain that does more to dampen the air they’re both gulping than the earth being pattered underfoot.  The earlier rains had done their best, though, and Jinki barely makes a leap over the mud puddle that suddenly appears.

“Tag!” he yells, grabbing Taemin from behind, arms wrapped around his waist and he swings him through the air.  Taemin’s feet kick in protest as he shrieks and he laughs when Jinki blows a raspberry against his neck.

“Not fair!  The ground is so slippery!”

“You’re the one who wanted to play in the rain,” Jinki points out as he puts Taemin down.  He’s met with a coy smile as Taemin brazenly replies, “I thought you would be the one at a disadvantage.”  Jinki only laughs and grabs Taemin up again, arms wrapped around his waist and breaths mingling in the chill air.

“I hate you,” he whispers, eyes gleaming.  Taemin smiles and wraps his arms around Jinki’s neck, gaze flickering between his eyes.

“I love you too.  Now let’s go get meat!”

“What about the swings and slides?”

“Too wet,” he explains as his arms slip down, “and I’m hungry.”  He grabs Jinki’s hand, tugging him across the wet grass and mud back to Jinki’s car.

 

The restaurant is warm and they quickly hang up their damp jackets on the hooks just outside the booth.  The waiter who seats them disappears and reappears with water, telling them that they’ll be back soon to take their order.

“No contests this time!” Jinki admonishes when he catches Taemin looking at the dessert menu.

“No, no.  Definitely not today.  Can we at least split a sundae, though?  I want sugar.”

“When do you not want sugar?”

“When I’m asleep.  No, wait,” he adds, looking up and tapping the menu with his finger.  “I take that back.  I do dream about eating cake.”  Jinki just chuckles and looks back down at his own menu.

“Of course you do.”

 

Taemin curls around Jinki’s arm, fingers stroking the intricate scales adorning his skin.  Lying in bed in the dark, in the warmth after an afternoon spent laughing in a light downpour as they ran across muddy fields.  A belly full of steak and a cup of cocoa have him feeling snuggly and soft, every thought tempered.  His eyes close and he reflects on the day, watches the memories of Jinki catching him from falling just before he nearly fell himself, the game of tag that was won by both as neither would declare the other a loser, and the way Jinki’s eyes sparkled when a thin burst of sunlight splintered through the clouds.  A smile curls his lips when he thinks of Jinki’s heroic arrival at his door and the certainty with which he had said “You’re doing great”.

Maybe, he thinks, just maybe.  Maybe…  The gentle pull of sleep melts the thought into a velvet cushion for a dream that leaves his chest warm when he awakes in the morning.

~

Jinki watches Taemin pass him down the aisle, a quick wink sent his way that has him smiling where he stands in the grass.  The sight of his boyfriend in a suit sparks a memory, a question Taemin had asked him months ago, when he’d asked him to be his date here today on the day his sister is getting married.

Eunsook passes by with Minho and then a small dog is followed by a woman whose smiling face so resembles the picture of Jongmi Taemin had shown him that Jinki knows instantly she must be their sister Sodam.

The tone changes and Minjung, dressed in a contemporary, tailored suit walks by with Jongmi in a dove gray lace shift.  They stand at the altar holding hands and grinning and in less than twenty minutes they run back up the aisle legally bound to one another.

Jinki watches as all the sisters and one dog follow behind, Junghee and Taemin last among them.  A little shove from a small woman behind him has him apologizing and moving out into the aisle, still thinking about Taemin’s question.

The pavilion is a sea of people Jinki doesn’t recognize; family and friends of the newlyweds that he’s still yet to meet.  A glimpse of what looks to be the back of Minho’s head has him maneuvering through the mass of strangers, his movements suddenly hindered by the surprise tugging of two arms around his waist.  He laughs and pats at the hands, smiles when a kiss is pressed to his neck and nods at the suggestion that they move away from the crowd.

They’re in their own world, their own conversation, their little bubble of calm amongst the excitement.  Taemin keeps dropping his hand to rest on Jinki’s chest and Jinki’s tugged on the lapel of Taemin’s jacket more than once.

The announcement of the re-arrival of “The Misses!” has them turning and clapping with the rest of the guests, laughing when it’s Gwiboon who catches Jongmi’s bouquet.  The blush on her cheeks and the way her finger presses to her lips is made even sweeter when her date takes her in his arms and gives her a soft kiss, eliciting another round of applause.

Taemin watches as the sisters who haven’t yet met Jinki gather together, look over at him, and then begin heading his way, Jongmi left behind with Minsoo in their arms.  He starts to stand up straighter when suddenly they’re crowding around him and Jinki, pushing him to the outskirts and locking Jinki in against the wall.  To his relief, Jinki doesn’t seem to mind, smiling calmly while three women of varying heights and temperaments crowd him in.

Junghee’s the first to speak, stating, “My son is very dear to me and any harm that befalls him will be returned tenfold to whomever does the harming.”

“Oh my god Junghee.  Look,” Gwiboon turns to Jinki, a no-nonsense glint in her eyes.  “It’s clear that he’s our baby and we’ll protect him.  There are four of us and one of you so respect the odds and respect the kid, got it?”

“Got it.”  She nods and turns to leave, grabbing Junghee’s arm.

“What she said,” she adds with a pointed finger and a frown as her sister tugs her away.  Minjung is left behind, glancing at Taemin before patting Jinki’s shoulder with a smile and a remark Taemin can’t hear to which Jinki quickly nods.  She nods back and turns to Taemin, opening her arms and saying, “I’m married!”

“I know!”  He laughs as he steps into her embrace, squeezing her tight.  “I was there.”  He pats her back and lets her kiss his cheek and watches as she follows after their sisters, arm soon around Jongmi’s shoulder.

Taemin turns back to Jinki who suddenly looks pale.  He steps in front of him, glancing back at the trio before grabbing him by the shoulders.

“What happened?  You look like you’re going to faint.”

“No, no.  I’ll be fine.  Just…wow.  I’ve never been threatened like that before.”  Taemin scoffs and squeezes Jinki’s shoulders.

“Junghee wouldn’t harm a fly.  Seriously.  She catches them in cups and sets them outside.  Like you and spiders.”  Jinki looks up at him in surprise.

“Junghee?”

“Yeah.  The short one.  ‘Tenfold’?  A poet.”

“No.  Not Junghee.  Minjung.”  Taemin looks at him in surprise.

“Minjung?!  She’s the last one you have to worry about.  Unless there’s some competition involved, like games.”

“If you say so.”  Jinki looks completely unconvinced and he keeps glancing nervously over Taemin’s shoulder.  Taemin laughs and tugs at his hand.

“Come on.  Come dance with me.”

Taemin slips one hand around Jinki’s waist as a hand is absently placed on his shoulder.

“Tell me more about Minjung.”

“She’s a sports therapist.  Helps take care of athletes and prevent or treat injuries.”

“So she would know about breaking bones?”

“Well, yeah.  And how to repair them.”

“And how to repair them…wrong.”

“What did she say to you?!”

“What about the others?”  Taemin narrows his eyes and scoffs.

“Gwiboon is a fashion designer who sometimes models.  That’s Kibum,” he says pointing at a tall man standing beside his sister.  “Her boyfriend.  Another model.  Junghee and her partner Eungyu run a little bistro together.  Junghee’s a poet, like I said, with two books published so far.  I think she’s working on a novel right now.  Minjung is married to Jongmi, of course.  Jongmi is a beautician and the salon they work at is geared towards kids.  It’s actually pretty cute.  Race car and carousal seats, things like that.  Lots of bright print.”

“Anything else?”

“Like what?” he asks as they move across the floor.

“Weaknesses.”  Taemin throws his head back in laughter, eyes crinkling in mirth.

“What did Minjung say to you?!”

“Let’s just say I won’t be sleeping easy until there are again half a dozen states between us.”  The grimace on Jinki’s face has Taemin laughing as he twirls him around.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, Eunsook’s the one most likely to follow through.”  They’re face-to-face again and he laughs again at the look on Jinki’s face.

“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“Eunsook likes you,” he points out.  “And as long as she likes you she’ll protect you from the others.”

“So,” Jinki hesitates, glancing over at Taemin’s sisters, “my life essentially rests in her hands.”

“Yep.”  Jinki sighs as Taemin twirls him again.  They move across the dance floor in relative silence a few minutes more, a little humming to the music and Taemin taking liberties with the space around them.  Jinki’s dipped one time too many and after the third time refuses to be dipped again.

“At least not until there’s something soft for me to fall onto in case you drop me.”

“I would never drop you.”

“Hmm.  By the way, why did Junghee call you her son?”  Taemin sighs with a quirked smile.

“When I was born my parents just said things like ‘Look at the baby!’ and introduced me to people as their son.  Obviously.  Junghee took that to mean that I was everyone’s baby, everyone’s son, so of course that made her my mom.”

“Didn’t she realize you already had a mom?”  Taemin chuckles.

“In her defense, she was three and I don’t think she yet understood that I would only have one.  Maybe she just thought I needed more, since there were already so many sisters.  I don’t know.  I’ve never asked and I have no intention of asking now.”

“Fair enough.”

“There was a parent-teacher conference about it when I started school.”  It’s Jinki’s turn to laugh.

“Why?”

“She kept introducing me to everyone as her son.  And threatening to beat them up.”

“So what happened?”

“Our parents finally explained to her that I was not her son, I was her brother, and that it wasn’t nice to threaten to beat people up.”

“But she still calls you her son?”

“She does now.  Mostly to irritate me.”

“Does it?”

“Not really.  Now it’s just…it’s just Junghee.”

“Gwiboon’s my favorite,” Jinki abruptly declares.  Taemin bursts out laughing.  The music changes and he begins pulling Jinki off the dance floor.

“Why?”

“No drama.”  Taemin begins laughing so hard he starts braying, grabbing at his throat and barely catching his breath.

“That is,” he gasps, “the first time Gwiboon has ever been described that way!  Oh I can’t wait to tell Eunsook.”

“No!  Don’t do that!”  The gleam in Taemin’s eye has Jinki grimacing.

“Are you afraid she’ll stop liking you and Minjung will follow through on whatever she threatened?”

“A little.”  He squeezes Jinki’s hand and places his empty one over the clenched fingers.

“Don’t worry.  Gwiboon will protect you.”

 

The morning after they get back home, Taemin wakes up to the smell of pancakes and smiles.  He wanders down the hall to find Jinki cooking at the stove.

“You’ve met my parents and participated in a family event,” Taemin says as he sneaks his arms around Jinki’s waist.  “I think you’re officially my boyfriend.”  Jinki snorts as he flips the pancake sizzling in the pan.

“I wasn’t your boyfriend before?”

“Not officially.”

“Even though I met your sister?”  Taemin kisses his neck and walks away, rummaging through the fridge and pulling out a carton of juice.

“Even though.  That’s not the point, though.  The point is that you are now officially my boyfriend.”  A glass is pulled from the cupboard as Jinki scrapes the pancake onto a waiting plate.  Taemin pours the juice into the cup while Jinki drowns his breakfast in syrup.  He takes the plate to the table while Taemin leans up against the counter and begins to take a drink.  “What about me?” he asks with a smile.  “When do I officially become your boyfriend?”

The bite Jinki has near his open mouth stops in mid-air.  He doesn’t look at Taemin, staring off into the distance.  The fork slowly lowers to the plate and Jinki turns to him with a sad smile.

“When I told you about Francesca.”  The clinch in his chest has Taemin rubbing at the pain with his empty hand.  He puts the cup down on the counter and walks across the room to take a seat next to Jinki, taking up his hand and kissing the knuckles.  They smile at each other in the morning light and Taemin whispers “I love you” in the quiet.  “I love you too,” is whispered back, a kiss of affection brushed against his lips.  The fork is again lifted and he watches his boyfriend take a bite.

 

A week later, he watches from the bed as Jinki dresses in a black long-sleeved shirt and black pants.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I don’t.  I don’t even want Taeyeon to come either.  But I know I shouldn’t go alone.”

“I’ll be here when you get back.”  Jinki smiles and leans over to kiss Taemin’s forehead.

“I know.  Thank you.”

 

Taeyeon holds his hand while they sit at the headstone, the words printed there beneath her fingers.

“You didn’t bring Taemin.”

“No.”  She nods and doesn’t press further.  The yard is quiet and cool, the faint rustle of leaves and the occasional call of a bird the only reminders of life around them.  Jinki stares at the name and squeezes Taeyeon’s hand.

“We should do something better next year.  Something…I want to do something in her name.  Maybe donate to a children’s charity.  A dance school.”

“That sounds lovely.  I would like that.”  He squeezes her hand again and then he tells her a story he hasn’t told her yet, the only one he’d spoken to about Francesca who didn’t know her when she was alive.  Jonghyun knows, Jonghyun has listened to him cry now that he’s no longer angry.  Telling Taeyeon is something different, a gift to both of them and a reminder of the depth of the bond they share.

 

The radio is left off as he drives back to his apartment, the stairs leading back up to Taemin taken without thought.  The door closes behind him and he leans on it, braced against it with one hand and his forehead against the wood.  Footsteps pad out from the back.

“I get it now,” he says, turning to Taemin standing just inside the room.  “When you heard about Jongin.  The impulse to be with someone.  With me.  I want to be with you too.”

“Are you-”

“No talking, please.  Not with words.”  Taemin nods as he steps forward, putting his hands on Jinki’s shoulders and nodding again as he begins to push away the jacket Jinki didn’t remember he was wearing.  It’s hung up on the little row of hooks just inside the door and then Taemin kneels down and helps him out of his shoes.

Jinki begins to apologize, “Sorry, I-”

“No talking,” Taemin reminds him.

Jinki’s eyes flicker between Taemin’s as he stands back up, moving down to his lips.  They’re parted and he can see the subtle gleam of teeth.  Taemin begins stepping forward and Jinki keeps his eyes on those lips and listens to the little puffs of breath blowing through his own.

One hand slips over Jinki’s hip while the other brushes a loose strand of hair back, his thumb taking its place against Jinki’s chin and the thump of Jinki’s heart beat pulsating against the fingers he presses against his neck.

Jinki swallows and looks up at Taemin again, watches the darkness of his eyes and feels shallow breaths blow against his lips.  The air between them is melding, a prelude to the kiss Taemin is leading them into and yet Jinki has still not moved.

They are nose to nose, Taemin brushing his own against Jinki’s and Jinki’s eyes cast down as he inhales Taemin’s scent, another hand moved over his hip and he feels the warmth of a palm over the soft curve.  Another swallow and another breath and another glance up to meet Taemin’s gaze.

And then he leans in, brushing their lips together and their foreheads against each other, breathing out.  Taemin’s lips twitch into a smile when he presses his hands to the ones Taemin has at his hips, thumbs swiveling and another brush of their lips together.

Everything is slow and warm, hazy.  Dark eyes and a dim room, the hint of lust and the heat of companionship.  Jinki swallows and turns his head, breathing in Taemin’s kiss and taste, hands moving to Taemin’s back.  Another turn and his lip is caught, warmed and whetted, palms moving to his cheeks.  Another and the palms at Jinki’s cheek move to the back of his neck he clutches Taemin close.

The flex of Taemin’s muscles beneath his fingers has Jinki clinging tighter, swiveling his hips so that they met Taemin’s.  The lips against his own move down to his neck and shoulder, dancing back up against his collarbones until again he can’t breathe.

The briefest respite is taken to desperately whisper “bedroom” before Taemin begins walking backwards, glancing to make sure he isn’t leading them into a wall.

The bedroom is even darker than the living room with little splinters of light piercing through the blinds, barely guiding their way.  Their lips are still dancing when they cross the threshold and it is then that Taemin raises his arms and his shirt is pulled away by Jinki’s blunt fingers, pulling Jinki’s shirt up in return.  They pull away long enough for it to slip over his head and arms, tattoos now laid bare.  Taemin’s fingers run lightly over the marks, leaning down and kissing Francesca’s name before he looks up, taking Jinki’s face in his hands and kissing him as he guides him toward the bed.

~

Minho squints at the list he’d made and stuck to the fridge two days ago to see if there’s anything more that needs to be added.  Practicing for life with a baby was not the same as living with a baby and he was learning to, when fiscally possible, always buy double.

“We should invite Taemin and Jinki over for dinner,” Eunsook calls out from the living room.  He looks over to where she sits sprawled out on the sofa, head against the back and her feet spread out.  Minsoo rests on a nursing pillow and makes little suckling noises while Eunsook’s arm cradles them and her eyes are closed.

“Are you sure?”

“I need the company.  Tell them to bring pizza or chicken.  Something, anything.”  Minho leans up against the fridge, folding his arms with a grin.

“You want me to invite them over for dinner and have them bring it with them?”

“God, yes,” she groans, “That sounds amazing.  No, wait!  Better!  We’ll have it at their place.”

“They don’t have a place.”

“Well then…Taemin’s.  No, Jinki’s.  His will be cleaner.”  Minho snorts and nods as he begins to pull out his phone.

“OK…”

“They should move in together,” Eunsook says softly, almost to herself.  The thought clicks sharper and she opens her eyes, looking down at Minsoo and smiling.  “Would you like that?  Would you like it if Boo moved in with his boyfriend Jinki?”

“Eunsook…”

“We like Jinki.  He’s hot and nice and tells terrible jokes and plays basketball with Appa.”  Minho nearly gasps at the moniker, still a shock two months later that it belongs to him.  Eunsook looks over at him with a grin.

“Give me a timeline,” she says eagerly.  Minho sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Eunsook.”  Undeterred by Minho’s tone, Eunsook continues.

“A timeline, man.  Give me a timeline.”

“Fine,” he relents, “If they haven’t at least talked about moving in together by…Taemin’s birthday, then you can bring it up.”

“That’s almost three months from now,” she pouts.  There’s quiet while she purses her lips, thinking.  Her eyebrows pop up and with a hopeful smile she asks, “How about my birthday?”

“That’s in three weeks,” he points out.  “And it’s Minsoo’s Baek-il then, too.”

“My little half-price chocolate nugget,” is cooed at the baby.  “After all that,” she continues, looking up, “when our family all leaves and it’s just the five of us again.”  Minho sighs, tapping his head against the refrigerator door.

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to wait until Taemin’s birthday?  Torturing him on the anniversary of his birth has always brought you joy.  Let this be your gift to yourself.”

“Mmmm.”  Eunsook grumbles and glares at him, gently kicking her heels against the carpet.  There’s a soft squeal and they both turn to Minsoo.  The baby is moved from their pillow to the soft towel at Eunsook’s shoulder and she stands as she begins rubbing circles over their back.  “Fine,” she agrees with a frown.  “I’ll wait.  But I want that dinner.”

“Of course,” he says as he walks over to her, kissing her forehead and then kissing the baby.  “When should I tell them to expect us?”

“Six.  And tell them I want chicken.”

“I’ll go place the order now.”

 

“Can you believe they had us order them dinner?” Taemin complains as he adds a plate to the sink full of soapy water.

“They just had a baby,” Jinki points out.  “And I’m sure Eunsook’s fed you enough times throughout your life to warrant at least one meal.”

“A little notice would have been nice,” Taemin grumbles.  “I did have plans.”

“Those plans can still happen,” Jinki chuckles, scrubbing a fork.  “And even better now.  You in the kitchen with an apron?  That’s hot.”  He winks and clicks his tongue as he turns on the faucet to rinse.  Taemin laughs and smacks his bum on his way to wiping down the mess on the table.

 

Jinki’s hands are soft and wrinkly against Taemin’s waist as they breath into each other’s mouths, furtive tugs of shirts and an unbuckling of a belt, Taemin’s sweats still on when he pulls Jinki’s dick out.  The lube he dollops on tastes of kiwi when it hits his tongue and he moans in satisfaction as he begins moving his mouth.  Jinki’s pushing the sweats off slowly, moving his hands over Taemin’s bared ass and laughing when he begins to wiggle it back and forth.  They’re both laughing when he gently pushes Taemin’s face away, a slick pop and then those lips are on his own as he pushes Taemin to his back.  The sweat pants are pulled completely off and he tugs Taemin tight as he spoons him, them both on their sides and his hand clutching Taemin’s chest as he slips inside.  There’s a sigh near his ear and an arm slipped around his neck and then Taemin’s lips are against his own as he begins to move.

“I love you,” is whispered, the statement breathed out of Taemin’s mouth and he breathes it into his own, takes the words that bring him life.

“I love you too.”

~

Taemin opens his mouth and blows on the window, watching the fog slowly melt as he steps away.  He blows again and this time draws a heart in the condensation before it can evaporate.  Rain trickles on the outside and the heart shines against it on the inside.  A little smile pulls at his lips and he blows again on the pane to see the outline deepen once again.

Jinki is still sleeping in the bedroom in a mess of sheets and blankets that looks more like fresh laundry ready to be folded than a man bundled up in sleep.  Taemin had stood watching from the doorway for a moment before wandering into the living room, smiling when he’d seen the rain.  Now he opens the window a crack, makes sure the droplets won’t get inside, and heads to the kitchen to microwave a cup of cocoa.  Jinki buys 2% and Taemin has always drunk whole.  He hasn’t told Jinki of his preference yet and he’s willing to settle if it means not leaving Jinki’s apartment.  The sudden rush of cool air chills his feet and causes a little shiver at his shoulders as he leans in.  The plastic jug is nearly in hand when he spots the little cardboard carton beside it.  He frowns and blinks and then chuckles as he grabs it and lets the refrigerator door shut with a soft  _ thunk _ .

It’s whole milk that he pours into Jinki’s mug, a little token that he accepts happily.  The microwave beeps loudly in the quiet apartment and Taemin sighs in contentment as he sits by the window with the scent of hot cocoa and the sound of rain his companions.  He’s fallen back asleep when Jinki comes out, waking up only when Jinki brushes back his hair and kisses his forehead.

“Hey,” he whispers.

“Hey,” Taemin croaks back, struggling to sit up.  Jinki puts out a hand that he takes and uses the other’s strength to sit upright, tilting his head back for a chaste kiss.  It’s Jinki’s turn to rummage around through the kitchen, grabbing his own milk and making his own cup of hot chocolate.  Soon they’re sat beside each other, Jinki taking sips and Taemin resting his head in his lap.

“What should we do today?”

“I saw a meme on Facebook that said rainy days are for cuddling and watching serial killer documentaries.”  Jinki chuckles and pats Taemin’s shoulder.

“Is that what you want to do?”

“And pizza.”

“Of course.”  Taemin nods and closes his eyes, shifting so that he’s now on his side, head still on Jinki’s thigh.  When next he wakes Jinki’s asleep, arms folded and head resting against the back of the couch.  He laughs and closes his eyes again.

The sound of thunder seemingly overhead jolts them both awake.  Taemin struggles to sit up while Jinki moves quickly to the window, opening it wider and looking out at the sky.  A few moments later another burst of lightening and the oppressive roll of thunder.

“Wow.  Taem, look at this.”  Taemin rubs his eyes as he hurries over, head leaning on Jinki’s shoulder as he looks out at the raging storm.  The sky is nearly black with heavy clouds and the apartments across the courtyard are barely visible through the pouring rain.  The yard below is developing puddles that ripple with thick rain drops and another bolt of lightning lights up the sky.

“Amazing.”

“So amazing.  And no,” Jinki says without looking over, “we can’t go play in it.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Well you have to admit those puddles demand stomping.”

“Maybe when there isn’t the imminent threat of lightning strikes.”

“The chances of actually being struck aren’t that high.”

“They aren’t low enough.”

“Can we still order pizza?”

“That just seems cruel at this point, making some poor delivery person trudge through all of this just so that we can be lazy.  Let’s wait until the storm moves on.  Then we can play in the puddles and eat pizza and learn all about serial killers.”  Taemin puts up his hand and Jinki slaps it with a smile.

“Deal.  What should we do in the meantime?”  Jinki turns to him then with a sly smile and Taemin’s smiling back and walking backwards.

“Brush our teeth.”  He stops and frowns.  “Taem we have morning breath.  That’s not sexy.”  Taemin rolls his eyes and huffs even as he starts moving to the bathroom.

“Fine, fine.  It’s not like dick sucking breath is all that enticing, you know.”

“Yes, but we can at least take some of the edge off.  Get started on the right foot, so to speak.”  They’re in the bathroom now, side by side and Taemin’s handing the toothpaste over to Jinki after putting a glob onto his own brush.  “Besides,” Jinki continues, looking at Taemin in the mirror, “I like watching you put things in your mouth.”  Taemin rolls his eyes with a chuckle as he spits, grabbing the tumbler and filling it with water.  A quick swish and then he pats Jinki on the bum, smiling as he does the same.

“There.  All fresh and clean.  Now, do filthy things to me.”  The light flicks off as Jinki begins to chase him the short distance to the bed.

 

“I’ve been thinking,” Taemin says as he draws patterns on Jinki’s chest.  Jinki chuckles and runs his fingers through Taemin’s hair.

“Danger.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Taemin mutters.  “It’s just that we already live together, basically.  And we could save money if we actually lived together.”  Jinki snorts and looks down at him.

“That’s such a romantic proposition, Taem.  So sexy.”  Taemin shrugs.

“You just keep talking about finances and stuff.  About financial obligations and tying one’s credit to another person.”

“A thing that happens with leases,” Jinki points out matter-of-factly.

“I know, I know,” Taemin sighs and stops drawing, resting his head now where his fingers had been.  “I had a break up and a lease at the same time.  I know what I’m talking about, what it means.”

“Oh yeah,” Jinki answers, absently.  He frowns and tucks Taemin’s hair over his ear.  Taemin looks up, chin on Jinki’s rib and eyebrows knit.

“You forgot?”  A little quirk of a smile, sad, tugs at Jinki’s lips.

“Sometimes I forget that we didn’t always know each other,” he replies, cupping Taemin’s cheek in his hand.  Taemin presses his own against it and kisses Jinki’s palm.

“Me too.”  Jinki’s hand disappears and Taemin closes his eyes with a smile at the kiss to the top of his head.  “I’d like to take a credit risk on you, Jinki, if you’re willing to take a credit risk on me.  Even if you’re not, I want you to know that I am.”

“Where would we live?” he asks, fingers again running through Taemin’s hair.

“Your apartment.”  Jinki laughs.

“That was quick.”  Taemin shrugs with a little smile.

“My lease is up soon, next month, and you’ve lived in your apartment longer than I’ve lived in mine.  The only things I want to keep are my bed because it’s bigger and my piano; everything else can be sold or donated.  I actually did put a lot of thought into this.”

“Wow.  Why didn’t you mention this before?”  Taemin turns away, cheek pressed against Jinki’s chest as he starts drawing patterns again.

“You’re…,” he starts, not quite sure how to say what he thinks, what he feels.

“What?”

“Reluctant.”

“I’m reluctant?”

“Yes.”  Jinki tilts his head in confusion.  He begins to sit up, gently lifting Taemin so that they’re sitting next to each other, face-to-face and he tucks his thumb beneath Taemin’s chin so that he can look him in the eyes.

“Do I make you feel insecure, Taem?  Like I’m not completely invested?”

“No,” Taemin answers quickly.  He visibly deflates when Jinki raises a skeptical brow.  “Yes,” he admits.  “Sort of.  Sometimes we’ll be going great and then all of a sudden, a wall will pop up out of nowhere.  You’re not even mean about it.  If you were mean about it, it might hurt less.  You’re just dismissive, like it’s obvious you wouldn’t do it.  Like how you see our sharing our lives as a credit risk.”

“Hey.  I’m sorry.”  Taemin shrugs and pats Jinki’s cheek.

“It’s just how you are,” he says, shaking his head.  Jinki grabs the hand at his cheek and squeezes it.

“I’ll try to be better.”

“Hmm.”

“Hey,” he says, moving so that he’s on his knees, both of Taemin’s hands in his.  “I’d be honored to take a credit risk on you.”

“I’d be honored to take a credit risk on you too,” Taemin laughs.

“But first, I’ll need two forms of ID and a personal reference.”  Taemin purses his lips and sighs.

“I’ve got a bus pass, a library card, and my sleep-deprived sister.”  Jinki nods solemnly and thrusts out his hand.

“Accepted.”

“Fantastic.  Now can we get that pizza?”

~

“Wow,” Minho exclaims, following Jinki’s moves across the court and blocking his layup.  “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

“You beat Eunsook’s deadline by nearly three months.”  Jinki stops bouncing the ball, picking it up and balancing it on his hip.

“What?”  Minho chuckles, standing up straight.

“Last year you had until August to start talking or she was going to set you up.”

“She set us up anyway,” Jinki points out with a laugh.

“That was her being subtle.”  Jinki’s laugh intensifies, the back of his hand covering his mouth.

“Wow.”

“This time she decided you needed to move in together.  She came up with the idea a week ago and wanted the deadline to be at the end of the month, on her birthday.

“Wow,” Jinki repeats, eyes wide. “When is Eunsook’s birthday?”

“25th of May.  Same as her sisters.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.  Minsoo’s Baek-il too.”

“Wow.”

“I made her agree to wait until Taemin’s birthday.”

“Made her?”  The knowing grin on Jinki’s face has Minho putting his hands on his hips.

“Suggested strongly.  She says I can make her do things but I’ve yet to see evidence of it.”

“Well, thanks for being in our corner.”

“Taemin’s corner,” Minho corrects him.  “You were just a dude with a mean court game.”

“Hey!” Jinki cries, indignant.

“By the way,” Minho continues, “you’ve met the sisters, right?  At Minjung’s wedding?”

“Yes.”

“So you’ve been threatened.”  A quick nod of his head is followed by Jinki’s eyes widening.

“Yes.  How scared should I be of Minjung?”

“Of the three of them, the most.  Junghee and Gwiboon love Taemin and would bury a body for him.  I think Minjung would be the one to make a body available for burying.”

“Wow.”

“And she’s the one who knows how to make it look like an accident so…”  Minho lets the thought trail off with a shrug.  “Luckily for you though,” he adds, smacking the ball off of Jinki’s hip and dribbling up to the basket, watching it sink smoothly through the netting, “Eunsook likes you.”

“That’s what Taemin said.”

“It’s true.  Just keep her on your good side and you won’t have to worry about Minjung.”  He bounces the ball back up the court, passing it to Jinki who clutches it between his fingers.

“I don’t think that’s actually possible.”

“Well then,” Minho crouches down with a grin, “Put all that anxiety into your game and take your best shot.”

~

Eunsook’s in the middle of explaining the travel plans of their family when Taemin suddenly stops her.

“Wait.  That means Appa and Umma will be coming.”

“Yes.”  Taemin swallows and rubs his chest, eyes wide as he tries to catch a breath.  “It’ll be fine!” Eunsook admonishes as she lifts Minsoo back up.  Taemin only stares as she crosses the room and puts the baby in a little swing.  A button is pressed and the swing begins to move, a soft tune he recognizes as an English lullaby humming in the background.

“It’s just…I’m excited.  Not panicked, excited.  They’ve already met Jinki but this…it’s just so different from the first time.  He’s not just my boyfriend anymore, he’s the guy I’m moving in with.”

“Well…you’ve lived with a guy before,” Eunsook points out as she begins unpacking a laundry basket full of folded baby towels and onesies.  “This won’t be a huge surprise to them.”  Taemin tilts his head back and forth, lips pursed.

“No, I guess not.  It’s just exciting.”

“Hey, have you met his parents?  I don’t think you ever said.”  She laughs, a handful of blankets in hand as she begins to head down the hall.  “To be fair, I’m not sure I’d remember even if you had.”

“They live on the other side of the country,” Taemin answers, picking up the onesies and following her down the hall.  “But he’s told them about me.”

“How do you know?”  Taemin hands her the bundle with a smile.

“They sent me a New Year’s card.”

“That’s so sweet!  Did you send one back?”  He shrugs.

“I signed Jinki’s.”

“Aw,” Eunsook coos with a smile, pinching his chin, “that’s so cute.”  The smile drops and she nods her head as she says, “You two are going to make me sick.”  Taemin rolls his eyes as she passes by, following her as they move back out to the living room.

“Anyway.  Everyone will be at hotels, right?  We’ll do a family dinner for everyone on Thursday and then you’ll help me move on Saturday?”  Eunsook stops at the kitchen table and braces a hand on the back of one of the chairs, a victorious smile on her face.

“It’s our birthday we’re celebrating.  And Minsoo’s Baek-il.  What are we getting out of this?”

“The gratitude of the baby.”

“There’s a new baby in town,” she points out, chin tilted towards Minsoo.  “What else?”

“A homemade cake.”

“You’re going to make us a cake?” Eunsook asks skeptically.

“And buy one from the store, too.  Just in case it doesn’t work out.”

“Alright,” she says, arms unfolding and she begins to nod.   “What exactly do you need help moving?”

“The piano and the bed.”

“Not the futon?” she teases with a grin.

“Jinki has a couch.”

“Just like that,” she shakes her head, “abandoning that poor futon.”

“Another Craigslist customer will come pick it up and give it love,” he sighs.  “Especially now that it has an almost-new cover on it.”  Eunsook scoffs as she moves to the kitchen, opening a cupboard and pulling down a pot.

“You had sex on it.”

“And washed it!” Taemin cries, glancing quickly over at the baby and mouthing an apology in response to Eunsook’s silent glare.

“Not enough bleach in the world,” she mutters.

“You’re the one who had sex in your kitchen.”

“Anything else?”

“Anything…”

“To move, Taemin,” she sighs, exasperated.  “Not ‘things you’ve had sex on’.”

“That’s it.  Everything else can be sold or donated.  Jinki’s things are nicer and he’s had them longer.  We just want my bed, it’s bigger and newer, and I need my piano.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard, then,” Eunsook says with a nod.  “Especially since the girls will be here.”  Taemin frowns.

“The girls?”  Eunsook turns to him then with a wicked grin.

“Your sisters.”  The blood drains out of his face and his eyes grow wide.

“Oh fuck.  Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.”  Taemin grabs Eunsook’s hand in a panic.  “Please.  Please, please, please keep them away from Jinki.  Please.”

“First of all, it’s not your birthday, it’s ours and we’ll do what we want.”  Taemin grimaces, dropping Eunsook’s hand and rubbing his wrist.  “Second of all, it’s Minsoo’s Baek-il, not yours.  When they come here Saturday it will be as a favor to you so that you can keep fucking Jinki and cut your bills in half.  They’re not here just for you, though.  They’re here for their birthdays and for Minsoo whose Baek-il just happens to be the same day.  So, since the number of us celebrating our birth significantly outnumber the number of you moving you need to buck up.  Let your sisters have a little fun teasing the man whose apartment we’re helping you move into.  Jinki’s tough, he’ll be fine.”

“The man I love,” Taemin corrects.  Eunsook looks up from her box.  The look on Taemin’s face is so soft and hopeful that she can’t help but smile, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Yes.  The man you love.”

~

Taemin’s sisters show up to his apartment in a gaggle, a giggling Minjung holding Jongmi’s hand following Junghee and Gwiboon.  He stands up from his futon, bracing for the inevitable “Pretty boy!” and smear of Junghee’s lipstick on his cheek.  Gwiboon pinches his chin and makes a pouty face before squeezing his shoulder and saying, “Hey, babe.”  Minjung only slaps his hand in a high-five and Jongmi asks shyly if they can have a hug.

“All right, sit down, sit down.  I have a gift for you.”  The four in unison look down at the futon, look at each other, and then each take a seat around his table.

“Eunsook told you,” Taemin says, not asking.

“We’re not kink shaming,” Gwiboon replies.

“But we’re not sitting there either,” Minjung adds, grinning when Jongmi pokes her in admonition.

“Whatever.”  The lid to the piano glides back and he takes a comfortable seat on the worn bench.  A gratuitous chord slide is performed before a dramatic rendition of two birthday songs, one in English and one in Korean.  When he’s finished, he turns with a bright smile, arms thrust out as he proclaims, “Happy birthday!”

“We don’t get individual songs?” Gwiboon asks with a frown.  Taemin’s arms drop and he sighs.

“You share the same birthday.  Besides, I’m making you a cake.”

“Our own cakes?”  Taemin sighs again, this time at Junghee.

“I wasn’t going to but I can if you really want your own.”

“Whatever you think is best,” she replies with a smile.

“You should sing us our own songs, though,” Gwiboon says, fingers twirling in her hair.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next year.”

“Something meaningful to show that you’re actually interested in celebrating our births and not just performing a familial obligation.”  Taemin quirks an eyebrow.

“You want me to lie?”

“Yes.”

“Put in your requests next year and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Did you at least do something special for Eunsook?” Minjung asks.  “Now that she’s had a baby and you live exactly two doors down?”  The other three look at him expectantly.

“I gave her a hug.”  Junghee’s about to speak when he adds, “And I helped Minho pick out a T-shirt.  I know it sounds boring but trust me it’s something she’ll want.”

“Did you just ask us to trust you?”

“Yes, Gwiboon, I did.”

“I don’t know, Taeminnie.  Your taste tends to run a little…”

“Hold on, Junghee.  You have to admit that his boyfriend is hot.”

“Oh!  Well that is true.  Smokin’, I might add.”

“Did you see the way he has his hair all tied up in a ponytail?” Minjung asks.

“That hair band was really cute,” Junghee adds.

“And the way he filled out that T-shirt…”

“Yes, yes!  My boyfriend’s hot!  Now can we please go?  Umma and Appa will be here soon and I’d like to eat dinner at some point and celebrate the birth of my favorite sisters!”  The lid to the piano is closed and Taemin stands up.

“Sisters?” Gwiboon asks incredulously.  “We’re all your favorite today?”

“No, Saturday, when you help me move.  Even though I’ll be the one feeding you this time.”

“You’re buying dinner?” Gwiboon asks dramatically, hand to her chest.  “You?  Taemin Lee, our baby brother?  You’re buying us dinner?”  Taemin sighs, eyes squeezing shut as he throws his head back in annoyance.

“Yes, I’m buying dinner.  Quit making a big deal about it.”  The two eldest stand up, crossing the room and he groans as they each hug an arm, face scrunching up at the half dozen kisses sprinkled over his cheeks.

“Dinner and a homemade birthday cake,” Minjung adds from the table.  “Eunsook’s right, you must really be in love.”

“Couldn’t be more obvious about it.”  Another dozen kisses are sprinkled over his cheeks and he struggles to make his sisters stop.  “Ugh!  You’re aunts now, aren’t you supposed to be fawning all over the baby?”

“We are,” Junghee replies, gripping his chin while Gwiboon pinches his cheek.  He bats them away with a frown.

“I hate all of you.”

“We love you too, babe.”  Minjung stands up, reaching out and taking Jongmi’s hand as they also rise.  The four begin heading toward the door, laughing.  Taemin waits until they’re at the doorway to say, “Happy Birthday, you guys.  I really do…”  He lets the sentiment trail off.  The sisters smile and it’s Gwiboon who replies, “We hate you too, babe.”  The door closes and Jinki walks out of the bedroom with a sympathetic smile.

“You surviving?”

“Why did I have to be born last?”

“That’s what they save the best for.”

“You know you’re biased, right?”  Jinki just shrugs and takes him into his arms, swaying gently.

“And hot.  Smokin’ apparently.  Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I think the last ten minutes answers that question.”

“I’m not afraid of your sisters,” Jinki chuckles.

“Not even Minjung?”  Taemin grins as Jinki stops moving.

“Eunsook still likes me, right?”

“Eunsook adores you.”

“Then no, I’m not afraid of Minjung.  At least, not very.”  Taemin laughs and kisses Jinki’s shoulder, dragging him back to the bedroom to get dressed.

 

Another round of celebratory songs is sung around the table in the banquet hall.  As expected, Taemin’s parents had greeted Jinki with open arms and warm words, abandoning him immediately once Eunsook and Minho arrived with Minsoo.  Taemin sits with Jinki, hands held beneath the table as they watch and listen to Taemin’s family celebrate another year, another life, another moment in time spent together.  He squeezes Jinki’s hand and smiles at him, shakes his head when Jinki raises his brow in a silent question.  Nothing, he thinks, and everything.

~

The sun pours down on Taemin in the parking lot as he watches for a familiar truck to pull in.  He grins when he sees it, starts walking over and throws his arms open when the cab door shuts.

“Fina-freakin-ly!” Amber yells as she walks into Taemin’s open arms.  “I thought I was never going to see you again!”

“You’re the one who moved!” he points out as he squeezes her until she kicks him.

“You moved first,” she says as she pokes him on the shoulder.

“My lease was up.  You moved for a girl.”  A little blush spreads over her cheeks.

“Well, you’re moving for a guy.”  He rolls his eyes and tosses his arm around her shoulder.

“Fine, fine.  Let me take you to the man who’s making me make you help me move again.  This,” he says, pointing to Jinki pouring a glass of water in the kitchen, “is Jinki.”  He looks over, glancing at Amber and back at Taemin before stepping out into the living room with a confused smile.  “Jinki, this is Amber.”

“Oh, hi!” he says, hand stretched out.

“Hey,” Amber grins.  “How are you on hugs?”  Jinki purses his lips in thought as he nods his head.

“I’d say generally in favor.  Would you care for a sample?”  He throws his arms wide and Amber laughs, noting, “I like this guy” as she wraps her arms around his waist.  After they let go, Amber waves to Jinki, following Taemin as he takes her upstairs to his apartment.  When they step inside, she turns around and shakes her finger at him.

“This better not become a habit, me helping you move every year.”

“No guarantees,” Taemin answers with a grin.  “How else will I get you to stop by for a visit?”

“Just give me a call!  Sunyoung and I will drive the three hours if it means free pizza.”

“Where is she, by the way?”

“At work.  Couldn’t get the weekend off and wouldn’t let me stay behind.”

“You would play me like that?  Ditch me for a girl?”

“Absolutely.  Especially for Sunyoung.”  She takes a seat at the stool at the counter, glancing around the emptying living room as Taemin opens up the freezer.

“The futon is gone.”

“Sold it already.”

“Table and chairs too, I see.”

“Yep,” he says, handing her a glass of ice water.  She takes a sip and then smiles.

“I really do like him, though.  When do I get to see his tattoos?”

“Never,” Taemin laughs.  “He always covers up when he’s outside.  You might get a glimpse if he wears a tank top, though.  You can just ask him about them, if you want.  I told him you’d be curious.”  Amber laughs and looks down at the sleeve that covers her arm.

“Yeah.  I guess you could say I have a thing for tattoos.”

“I’m developing a thing for them too,” Taemin adds with a wink.  Amber laughs and tells him what a cheesy dork he is before they finish their drinks and begin boxing up Taemin’s books of music.

 

“Hey,” Taemin murmurs, slipping his arms around Jinki’s waist and brushing his lips against his chin.

“Hey.”

“We’re moving in together today.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Want to know something?”

“I thirst for knowledge.”  Taemin laughs and brushes a kiss across Jinki’s lips.

“We met a year ago, tomorrow.”  Jinki’s eyes flicker and then a smile blooms.

“On a basketball court.”

“Of all places.”

“Minho set us up.”

“Did he?” Taemin asks in surprise.

“He introduced us.”

“That’s right.  He did.”

“We should write him a thank you card.”  Taemin laughs, head thrown back.

“We could always invite them over for dinner.”

“I think Eunsook would appreciate that.”

“Yeah.  And Minho’s always ready for food.”  Now it’s Jinki’s turn to laugh, thinking about how even though it’s been a year since they were introduced, it hasn’t been a year since they met.  Nothing is said, though, just a quick kiss with his boyfriend amongst a pile of boxes as he thinks of what he’ll do to celebrate when the actual day comes.

Eunsook passes by then and Taemin grabs her arm, asking about the gifts he’d handed over at Minsoo’s party.

“Do you like them?” he asks anxiously.

“I love them!”

“Good,” he says.  A poke at Jinki’s chest is followed by “He helped pick them out.”

“Another good choice.”  Eunsook pats Jinki’s arm and winks as Minho walks in with Minsoo in one arm and a smile on both their faces.

“Look who just woke up!”

“Hey baby,” Eunsook coos, tickling Minsoo’s cheeks and making them giggle.  “Look, Taem.”  She points to the onesie the baby wears, “Bitty bottle of milk” printed across the chest to match Minho’s shirt that reads “Tall drink of water.”

“They’re cuter than I thought,” he says as he presses a hand to Jinki’s chest, linking the fingers of his empty hand with his boyfriend’s.

“By the way, when am I getting a shirt?” she asks, glancing at her husband, baby, and brother who are all wearing printed tops.  Taemin looks down at the words “World’s Okayest Uncle” printed over his chest and grins.

“Ah, babe,” Minho consoles, kissing her forehead, “Don’t ruin your birthday gift surprise.”

“Did you really?” she asks with a grin.

“Absolutely.  We’re a team, remember?  We need to have uniforms.”  Eunsook laughs and slaps the hand that Minho raises, leaning in for the kiss he offers.

“My birthday was two days ago, you know,” she murmurs against his lips.

“I know.  Someone forgot to go to the shop and pick it up,” he replies with a not subtle tilt of his head in Taemin’s direction.  Eunsook looks over at her brother and laughs.

“Ah.  Well, we’re pretty much done, right?  The heavy lifting is over?”  Taemin looks at the squished carpet that outlines where his piano had sat for nearly a year.

“Yes.  The bed’s been set up and the piano, too.  It’s just clothes and towels and books and stuff.  Jinki and I have already gone through it to see what we don’t want to duplicate.  So, there are bags that need to go to donation and everything in boxes needs to be taken downstairs.”

“OK.  Well let’s do that tomorrow.  It’s pretty hot out and everyone’s getting tired and bored.  I was thinking we could go hang out by the pool and then order a few pizzas later.”

“Great.  Oh, what about Junghee and Gwiboon and Minjung and Jongmi?”

“I had them bring their suits when they came over this morning.  Either way, I was definitely going to be lounging at the pool and taking my sisters with me.”  Taemin frowns.

“So basically, I’m a second thought in this plan.”

“Basically.”

 

Jinki watches Taemin splash around in the water with his sisters, popping up after Junghee shoves him down and whipping his hair back and forth to get the water out of his eyes.  Eunsook is laughing with Jongmi while Minjung and Minho are involved in some diving game.  Gwiboon lies beside him in one of the plastic lounge chairs beneath an enormous umbrella with Minsoo.   Too young for sunscreen, they wear a pair of sunglasses that match Gwiboon’s and they are both tucked away in the full shade of the umbrella.

“Are we late?” Taeyeon’s voice calls from the pool’s gate.  Jinki laughs as he replies, “You know you are!”  She grins as Kibum opens the gate, leading her and Drew into the pool area.

“We got lost.”

“You’ve been here dozens of times.”

“Kibum let me drive,” Taeyeon protests as she sits down on one of the chairs.  Jinki bursts out laughing and gives Drew a high-five.  He and Kibum are dressed in board shorts and they join the splashing mess of people in the water.  Taeyeon has a two piece beneath a mesh coverlet and in the sunlight Jinki can see her scar.

“You want to go in?”

“Who all is in there?”

“Taemin and Eunsook.  Also, their sisters Junghee, Minjung, and Minjung’s wife Jongmi.  Minho’s in there too.”  Minsoo coos and blows a few bubbles at the sound of their father’s name.

“And that’s Minsoo, Eunsook’s baby.  They’re with their aunt, Gwiboon, another sister.”

“Hi!” Gwiboon calls over from her seat.

“Hi.”  Taeyeon takes a few breaths and Jinki waits for her to decide.  There’s no cane today, she’s relying on Kibum and, now that she’s here, Jinki to tell her the truth.

“They’ll see but they won’t care.  And they won’t ask.”

“It’s not that big a deal,” she scoffs.  “I already stand out.”

“Your suit is gorgeous,” Gwiboon chimes in, “I love the color.  How does it feel?”  Taeyeon pauses and Jinki finds himself smiling.

“Good, thanks.  There are little loops at the side, little metal rings that tie together at the top.  We got it on sale so it’s even better.”

“On sale is always the best price.”

 

Taeyeon follows Kibum into the waves as Jinki paddles with Drew on his shoulders.  The pair rush out quickly when Drew whispers a panic “I need to go potty!” loud enough for everyone to hear.  They make it in time and head back out, Jinki pleased to see Taeyeon talking with Junghee and Eunsook at the edge of the pool.

A family, it occurs to him, that’s what they all are.  They’re his family.

~

“They’re gone!  I’m free!  And there’s an amazing bed in this room now!”  Taemin twirls around in the cramped bedroom, unopened boxes still scattered on the floor.  He throws himself back onto the bed and laughs, kicking his feet in the air for emphasis.  Jinki lays down beside him and runs a finger over his cheek, smiling when Taemin looks over at him.

“I love you,” he murmurs, because he thinks it and feels it and doesn’t believe he’s said it enough.  He’s making up for time.

“I love you,” Taemin murmurs back, eyes flicking to Jinki’s lips before he grins and closes his eyes, giving Jinki a kiss.

~

“Step away from the machine, Taem.”

“Jinki we’ve been doing laundry together for months now.”

“No,” Jinki corrects, gently shoving Taemin aside with his hip, basket of dirty laundry in his hands, “We’ve been doing our  _ own _ laundry for months now.  A credit risk I’m willing to take.  You washing my clothes is where I draw the line.”  Taemin rolls his eyes and then snorts.

“You trust me with your credit score but not your $20 jeans?”

“While that sounds like an excellent point,” Jinki says as he pours detergent into the machine, “it is not.  A person who has set fire to multiple washing machines is not someone I’m going to entrust my laundry to.”

“They weren’t my fault.”

“That there were enough to say ‘they’ indicates that it actually was.”

“What does it matter?” Taemin pouts as he crosses his arms, “You’ve been with me all this time and I’ve used the machines just fine.”

“Yes, but,” Jinki replies as he slips his quarters into the dispenser, pushing them in, “it wasn’t my laundry at risk.”  The machine whirs to life and Taemin sighs.

“Fine.  Can we at least mix our clothes?  It seems silly to have separate baskets.”

Jinki looks at him confused.

“I thought you were the one who wanted separate baskets.”

“Why would I want separate baskets?”

“Well why would I want separate baskets?”

“You’re the one who won’t trust me to wash your clothes.”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t wash yours.”  Taemin’s eyes soften and he smiles, slipping his hands over Jinki’s hips.

“Aw, babe.  That’s so romantic.”

“I aspire,” Jinki replies with a smile, eyes crinkling as Taemin leans in for a soft, languid kiss.  Taemin pulls back with a dreamy smile, licking his lips and hopping up onto the folding counter.

“Any other plans for today?”

“We need food,” Jinki points out.

“Laundry and groceries.  How domestic.”

“And romantic.  The grocery store was our second date.”  Taemin laughs and watches Jinki shove the hamper beneath the counter.  He hops on himself, legs swinging in the air and hands in his lap.

“We should make a list before we go,” he adds.

“It’s more exciting if we don’t.”

“Exciting, yes,” Jinki concedes, “But we tend to end up with five boxes of sugary cereal and no milk to eat any of them with.”  Taemin bumps his shoulder with a chuckle.

“You don’t eat the sugary cereal.”  Jinki shrugs.

“There’s never any milk.”

 

Jinki lets Taemin fold when they get back upstairs, a mistake they both know but one they each gladly make.  Neither of them really care how badly it all turns out as long as socks get matched up together and no underwear gets lost.

The June heat has waned when they get to Jinki’s car, windows rolled down in favor of air conditioning.  They sing along to the tracks blasting out of the speakers, a few new additions from Taemin’s own library and he smiles as Jinki struggles to keep up with the lyrics to “Kissin’ On My Tattoos”.

“Can we race our cart?” he asks as they step out into the parking lot.

“Maybe we should wait to see how many people are shopping today.”  Taemin tilts his head side to side in agreement.  The market is nearly empty and the same cashier who has asked them “Did you find everything you were looking for?” for almost a year stands guard at a register with no customers.

“Jinki,” Taemin says, gaze serious and voice brokering no arguments.  Jinki nods and they head back into the vestibule, Taemin grabbing a cart and sneaking toward the cereal aisle before taking off with a loud “Woo-hoo!”  He’s three aisles down before Jinki finally catches up, taking his turn in the cereal aisle that abruptly turns into shelves full of baby food.  He stops with his foot on the cart and reads the labels, looking at the selection that is nearly overwhelming.

“Hurry up!  It’s my turn!” Taemin calls as he grows closer.

“No way!” Jinki yells, eyes still on the shelf.  “You’ll never catch me!”  With that he takes off, sneaker smacking against the linoleum and the jars and cans and boxes all whipping by.

 

Half an hour later they’re at the check-out stand with the tired clerk who asks the same question they ask every time.  And, like every time before, Jinki answers “Yes”.  The trunk eagerly accepts their offerings of paper sacks before the lid is slammed closed.  Jinki grabs an abandoned cart and takes it to a nearby return stall as Taemin climbs in the car and turns on the radio.

“This reminds me,” he says as Jinki’s door opens and he slips inside, “We should get together with Taeyeon and Kibum for some more karaoke.”

“That sounds great.  Tae’s having a minor crisis at the moment.  Drew will be four in September which means preschool.”  Taemin laughs.

“They grow up so fast.”

“She’s started saying she’s too young to have a child in preschool.”

“That…that makes no sense.”

“That sentence pretty much sums up Taeyeon perfectly.”

A late-spring shower begins to fall as they pull out of the parking lot, a battle between gray skies and golden sunlight creating a dizzying landscape that is occasionally punctuated with a faint rainbow.  Taemin points at it out the windshield and teases Jinki about being a scholar on the phenomenon.

“True,” he concedes, turning into their parking lot, “That is my special focus.  What my Master’s thesis was on, in fact.”

“You have a Master’s?”

“Did I never tell you that?” Jinki asks in confusion.

“No, you didn’t tell me you have a Master’s!”

“Well I do.”

“In what?”  The car stops and Jinki begins to unbuckle.

“Education.”

“So, you have a Master’s in education and you teach kindergarten?”  Jinki shrugs and climbs out of the car, Taemin soon to follow.

“You’ve discovered my secret.  I am a man with a Master’s who teaches the colors of the rainbow to small humans every year.  Still interested?” Jinki asks with a wiggle of his brow.  Taemin grins.

“Infatuated.”

 

Jinki has four bags in his hands and Taemin three when they get to the door.  It’s unlocked with Taemin’s key because he’s still thrilled to have one, though Jinki had given him a copy months ago.  He puts the cupboard/counter foods away while Jinki puts away all the items that are stored in the refrigerator and freezer.

“Laundry, groceries; anything else?”  Taemin looks at Jinki expectantly, glancing outside at the storm that is currently losing the battle against the sun.

“That’s it.  We’re ready for the week.”

“When do you start going in to the bar?” he asks.  “Next Thursday?  Or Friday?”

“Thursday,” Jinki replies, folding up the bags.  “Have you decided on Jonghyun’s offer yet?”

“Does it get really loud?”  Jinki tilts his head back and forth in thought.

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“Just not sure which is worse.  Loud drunks at a wedding or at a bar.”

“Less fistfights at a bar, I would guess,” Jinki answers with a shrug.

“It was only…OK, yeah.  Three is a lot.”

“Also, there’s a bouncer to kick them out.”

“Just sort of weird to be working with your ex, though.”

“Weird?  I guess.  That was a long time ago, though.  The pay’s good, if that helps, and the hot bartender is super hot.  Smokin’, even.”  Taemin grins, wrapping his arms around Jinki’s neck.

“Is he?  Tell me more.”

“Well,” Jinki starts, “He has shoulder-length black hair.”  Taemin reaches up and runs his fingers through the ponytail at the back of Jinki’s head.

“Yes?”

“Pierced ears.”  His fingertips brush over the studs on Jinki’s ears.

“Go on.”

“And the most amazing tattoos.”

“Will I be able to see these amazing tattoos while at work?”

“They will be a special treat for after you get off shift.”

“They’re going to get me off after I get off?”  Jinki bursts out laughing.

“They will do their best.”

“Then I think I’ll take the job.”

“Good.”  Jinki leans in and kisses him on the nose and then on the lips.  “Now go practice,” he orders, smacking Taemin’s bum.  “Let me see what your fingers can do.”

“Later I’ll give you an up close and personal demonstration,” Taemin says with a wiggle of his brow as he opens the piano lid.

“I look forward to it.”

The piece is a new composition, a tune he’d put together in the months since they’d decided to share a home and one that Jinki requested frequently now that he knew he was the inspiration for it.  Their song, he had murmured in Taemin’s ear more than once.    He plays it now, fingers pulling chords and keys out of the piano that draws his whole focus in because they sound and feel and taste like Jinki.  This is Jinki to him, these notes, this tune.  A kiss to his neck and whisper to his ear wait for him when the music dies down and he takes Jinki’s hand and follows him to their room.


	5. Summer

Three knocks at his door has Taemin looking up from the sofa just as it opens and his sister steps through.  Minsoo sits on her hip and a bag hangs off her shoulder and she smiles tiredly at her brother as she takes off her shoes.

“Your boyfriend is running around with my husband again.  And Minsoo wanted to see their Boo.”

“At least my boyfriend keeps his clothes on,” Taemin teases, sitting up and stretching out his hands to take the baby.  “Hey bud.”  The baby looks at him and blows a raspberry, giggling when Taemin begins crossing his eyes and playing peek-a-boo by blinking.

“You’ve really got the hang of this,” Eunsook remarks from where she’s collapsed in Jinki’s chair.

“Practice,” Taemin shrugs.  “Bah!”  Minsoo squeals in delight.

“We’re finally going to move at the end of August,” Eunsook says, rocking slowly.  “To one of the larger units across the courtyard.  We should have moved earlier, there was no reason to have waited, but at least now we have a plan to follow.”

“Do you hear that, Minsoo?  I get to share a room and now you get to have a room all to yourself!”  His sister chuckles and burrows into the chair.

“You’re going to help.”

“I know.”

“Jinki too.”

“Of course.”

“I’m going to go to sleep now.”

“As expected.”

“Are you going to be OK?”  Taemin scoffs.

“I’ve baby-sat Minsoo before, Sook.  We’ll be fine.”

“All right.  Just remember Minsoo, you’re in charge.  Take good care of my brother.”  Taemin rolls his eyes and blows a raspberry on the baby’s tummy.

“Tell Umma to go to sleep.”  

Minsoo giggles and punches the air.

~

Taemin rolls over, palm absently pushing Jinki’s side.

“Jinki,” he mumbles.  Jinki looks down at his boyfriend whose eyes are closed and hand rests on the dragon scales etched into his side.

“Taemin,” he replies in amusement.

“Jinki.”

“Taemin.”

“Jinki!”

“Taemin!”  Taemin’s eyes fly open and he frowns at Jinki.

“What?”

“What what?”

“I…forgot what I was going to say.”  Jinki laughs and kisses Taemin’s head, squeezing him around the shoulders.

“We should go to the pool before it closes tonight.”  Taemin pats Jinki’s chest and sits up, kicks off the sheet that somehow ended up across his ankles.

“Yes!”

The sky had finally cleared, a day that has been marked by intermittent rain bursts nearing its end with a blue sky.  Evening already yet the sun still shines and they laugh as they race to the chain link gate, Taemin winning by half a second because Jinki lets him.  An hour is spent splashing in the water, the July evening a mirror of an August morning spent as friends still uncertain of the other’s thoughts.  Now they dive and canon ball and paddle and laugh and know.

“Hey,” Jinki says, elbowing Taemin and waiting for his face to emerge from the towel scrubbing his head.

“What?”

“I just thought of something.”

“What?”

“A surprise.  Come on.”  Jinki leads the way, climbing the four flights of stairs up to the doorway that leads them out to the roof.

“Wow!” Taemin exclaims, looking out at the setting sun.  “I didn’t even know we could get up on the rooftop!”

“Where did you think the fire escapes came from?”

“The windows.  Down to the ground to safety and away from the flesh-melting flames.”

Jinki watches Taemin watch the world around them glow with melting sunlight.  He takes his hand and takes him to the edge, just near enough for the view to be clear.  Together they sit in the falling darkness and laugh and talk, happy just to be together.

“It’s your birthday weekend,” Jinki declares.  “All weekend.  Even though your birthday isn’t until Tuesday.”

“The whole weekend?”

“The whole weekend.  What do you want to do?”  Taemin grins in the dark.

 

The following afternoon, Taemin smiles over his shoulder at Jinki whose chest is pressed against his back.  The warmth of their arms stretched out together matches the heat in his chest and he nods as though he’s listening to Jinki’s instructions.  The cue stick in hand juts out swiftly and the white sphere it hits knocks a solid red ball smoothly into one of the pockets.

“Thank you for pretending to learn from my instruction,” Jinki whispers in his ear.

“Thank you for instructing me.”  Jinki only smiles and picks up his own cue.  He rolls the white ball slowly over to the other side as he eyes the table, setting it up to take his shot.  “You’re an excellent teacher,” Taemin hums, leaning on the table with one hand, “You should get your Ph.D. and become a sexy professor with a tweed jacket and pipe.”  Jinki snorts and hits the cue, knocking two of his balls into the corner pocket.

“That’s very specific,” he remarks with a quirked brow.  “I could save the money and just get the jacket and pipe.  Besides,” he adds, “I deal enough with over-indulged 20-somethings every summer.”

“As opposed to teaching little kids the colors of the rainbow over and over?”

“Rainbows are the best,” Jinki grins as he hits a third ball into a center pocket.

“The rain is the best.”  A fourth shot ends with nothing and Jinki comes back around the table and bumps Taemin’s shoulder.

“True.  The best things are found in the rain.”

“One and two,” Taemin replies with a bump of his own.

A drive to the park, a steak dinner, and a giggling dash to the bedroom are the highlights of their day, Taemin’s hand on Jinki’s thigh as he drives them around town, fingers gripping his forearms in the dark as they move when he gets them home.

~

Faint music wafts through the room, a melody that is familiar but not quite loud enough to fully rouse Taemin from his sleep.

_ This hit, that ice cold _

_ Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold _

He shuffles around, snuggling back in, arms tucked under his pillow.

_ Stylin', whilen, livin' it up in the city _

He sighs into his sleep, his body slowly relaxing.

_ Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent _

_ Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty _

**_I'm too hot (hot damn)_ **

**_Called a police and a fireman_ **

“Augh!” he screams, flailing around on the bed.

**_I'm too hot (hot damn)_ **

**_Make a dragon wanna retire man_ **

**“Holyfuckingchristhangingonthegoddamnfuckingcrossfuck!”**

“Morning, Taemin!”

**_I'm too hot (hot damn)_ **

**_Say my name you know who I am_ **

“Jinki?” Taemin asks, looking around and finding no one.

**_I'm too hot (hot damn)_ **

“Taemin.”

“What the fuck?”

“Nope, no fucking,” comes Jinki’s voice from somewhere in the empty room.  “Just come out here.”

“Out where?”

“Look out the window.”

Taemin slowly climbs out of the bed, searching again for the source of Jinki’s voice but still not finding anything.  He looks down at the courtyard and sees Jinki standing in the grass with a blue tooth speaker in a Ziploc bag held over his head while a torrential rainfall pours down from the sky.

“What are you doing?”

“A classic scene from every 80s rom com imaginable.  Come join me.”

“In the pouring rain?”

“Yes!”  Taemin watches Jinki begin swiveling his hips, eyes closed with the speaker over his head.

“Are you going to keep dancing like that?”

“Until you come down here, yes.”

“You know, I’m not opposed to this view.”  Jinki turns and begins wiggling his bum in Taemin’s direction.

“There’s more where this came from.  Now come down here.”  Taemin crosses his arms with a grin.

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll debug the apartment.”  The arms fall and he groans.

“Dude!  You did not.”

“Yes.  Literally and figuratively.”

“It’s my birthday weekend!”

“It’s Monday and it’s tradition.”

“Eunsook’s tradition!”

“And also, blackmail.”

“Hate you.  So much.  So much hate.  Let me pull up a thesaurus because ‘hate’ feels like too weak a word to describe the passionate burn of dislike I feel for you at this moment.”  Jinki grins and touches his toes, moving his fingers slowly back up his leg with his hip jutted out.

“Just come down.”

Taemin sighs and mutters, “Fine” as he tugs on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, feet shoved into his sandals as he heads downstairs.  Jinki’s still swaying in the rain when Taemin steps out of the breezeway.

“Bruno Mars?” he asks with a grin.

“I know you love his work.”

“He has worked with some incredible artists.  So why are we down here in the rain?  Not that I mind, I just would have liked to have woken up in a less traumatic fashion than having Bruno Mars screaming in my ear.”

“We met a year ago, today.”

“We-no we didn’t.  That was two months ago, remember?  You and Minho were playing basketball.”

“No, you,” Jinki says, pointing at Taemin, “I met you a year ago, today.  Not Minho’s brother-in-law, not Eunsook’s brother, not the shy guy who kept blinking and only grimaced when he walked away.”

“I grimaced?”  Jinki nods.

“You did.”

“That’s so embarrassing.”

“It’s been a year since I met you, since I met Taemin Lee who dances in the rain,” his arms stretch out and he begins to slowly twirl.  “Who thinks pickles are a vegetable-”

“They are!”

“-and has a beautiful singing voice.  Who loves the piano more than he’ll ever love me-”

“We’ve been through a lot, Adam and I.”

“-and has actually set fire to multiple washing machines.”

“They weren’t my fault!” Taemin cries indignantly.

“And won’t take responsibility for them.”

“They weren’t!”  Jinki stops twirling and begins dancing around Taemin, making him laugh.

“The Taemin who loves meat almost as much as I do-”

“We should have another contest!  A real one.”

“-and didn’t realize I was trying to woo him with steak.”  Taemin flushes, rubbing his wrist.

“I just thought you liked meat.”

“I do,” Jinki says, bumping his hip against Taemin’s.  “All kinds.”  He wiggles his brows salaciously and Taemin shoves him on the shoulder.    Jinki finally stops, standing still in front of Taemin while the sound of rain patters against the rooftops and sidewalks around them, soaking the ground beneath their feet and saturating their hair.

“I met you 365 days ago.  That’s 8, 760 hours, 525, 600 minutes, and 31, 536,000 seconds.  A whole new being was conceived and born since we met.”  Taemin scrunches up his nose.

“Ew.  Why would you mention conception?”

“You’re wearing your uncle shirt,” Jinki says plainly.  Taemin glances down, reads “World’s Okayest Uncle” upside down on his chest.

“So?”

“So, for you to be an uncle a baby needs to be born.  And for a baby to be born it…never mind.  It’s our anniversary, Taemin.  One year.”  Taemin’s still looking at his shirt, frowning.

“Eunsook was already pregnant when we met.  Both times.”

“Not the point, Taem.”

“Then why did you bring it up?” he asks, looking at Jinki in confusion.

“A mistake.  Just giving an example of time passing.”

“You could have just said ‘a full rotation around the sun’ or ‘a completion of all four seasons’.  Something that doesn’t have to do with other people having sex.”

“OK, OK.  We’ve taken a full ride around the sun in this time period and I’m glad that a year later we’re still riding together.  Better?  Taemin!”  Taemin’s begun giggling, both hands over his mouth and eyes squeezed closed.

“I’m glad we’re riding together too,” he barely makes out before bursting into a fit of giggles again.  Jinki sighs and tugs him into a hug, holding him close as his laughter vibrates through his chest.

“This is the last time I try a romantic surprise.”

“It’s your own fault from waking me up so early.”

“It’s one in the afternoon.”

“That’s early on my birthday weekend.”

“Again, it’s Monday.”

“Besides, it’s not my fault you wore me out.”  Jinki snorts and shakes his head.  “As for romantic surprises, this was actually pretty cool.  Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Any other plans to celebrate the full rotation of the earth?”

“Well,” Jinki begins, arms slipping away as he takes Taemin’s hand.  “It’s pouring down rain.”

“Yes.”

“We have nowhere to go.”

“Also true.”

“And I’ve been told that rainy days are designed for serial killer marathons.”  Taemin grins.

“I’ve heard that as well.”

“And since we have all this time and all this rain,” Jinki continues, leading Taemin through the breezeway door and up the stairs, “I think we should test that theory out.”

“Sounds good.”

They’ve just stepped inside when Taemin swipes the speaker from Jinki’s hand and tosses it gently to the floor as he pushes Jinki up against the door.

“Quick question.”

“Yes?” Jinki chuckles.

“Since we’re already wet…would it be possible to also get naked?”

“That’s not only possible it’s probable, Taem.”

“Follow up.”

“What?”

“Do we have any bubble bath?”

“If not we can always use shampoo.”

“Heresy,” Taemin murmurs as he leans in for a kiss.  They’re halfway down the hall when Taemin abruptly stops.

“Jinki?”

“Hmm?” his boyfriend hums into his ear, kisses to his neck.

“Where are the bugs?”

 

Taemin runs his fingers through Jinki’s damp hair and whispers, “Fuck” in the shadowy room.  The slurping sound increases and Jinki looks up at him with smiling eyes.  He pulls him off and up, moving so that Jinki’s sitting back and Taemin’s beside him on his knees.  A condom is slowly rolled down Jinki’s dick, Taemin catching Jinki’s eye with a raised brow and the air again smells of pineapples.  Jinki’s shoulders are warm beneath his palms as Taemin throws his leg over Jinki’s lap and sinks down with a smile.

A sigh of satisfaction tickles his chest as he begins to move up and down, the stretch of Jinki inside familiar and so good.  He smiles down at Jinki, squeezing the shoulders beneath his fingers.  Jinki massages the skin at Taemin’s waist, head tilting back and eyes closing as his lips are kissed.

Taemin giggles as a raspberry is blown to his chest and he moves his hands from Jinki’s shoulders to wrap around his neck, pulling him in close.  A moan ripples up as the hands at his waist move to his back and Jinki’s hold tightens.

_ “ _ Fuck.”

He licks his lips and clutches Jinki close, fingers tightening and loosening, tangling in Jinki’s hair.  Kisses are sprinkled across his chest, Jinki moving so that his cheek rests against Taemin’s shoulder and Taemin mutters a shaky, “Oh, god” as Jinki’s moves begin to quicken.

They roll over, on their sides, Taemin’s leg thrown over Jinki’s hip and his grip at the back of Jinki’s head still tight.  Kisses at his shoulder move up, past his collarbone, against his neck, his jaw, and then the breaths are shared as Jinki’s lips find his.

As they reach the end, Taemin now on his knees with an arm reaching back over Jinki’s shoulder, clutching at his neck, another kiss is pressed to his damp neck.  A whisper, a tenderness and he nods and says, “I love you too,” gasping against Jinki’s lips.

~

“Get up get up get up get up!!!”  Taemin groans as his body shakes beneath his boyfriend’s hands.  He thrashes around until his hand finds purchase and he bats at Jinki as many times as he can until the other wraps him up in a hug too tight for him to move.  The assault he attempts with his feet is quickly stifled by one of Jinki’s strong legs locking his own in place.

“Get up!”

He curls in, tucking his head into his shoulder when Jinki’s lips begin pecking him all over the place, raspberries blown over his neck and shoulders, and it’s only when he gently bites Jinki’s chest that he’s finally let go.  The bemused glare he receives has him laughing as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“You know,” he says, walking his fingers up Jinki’s chest.  “It’s still my birthday weekend and I haven’t blown anything to make a wish.”

“Good thing I took care of that.”

Though puzzled, the look on Jinki’s face has Taemin excited and he quickly takes the proffered hand that pulls him up.  He follows eagerly as he’s led down the hall.  The kitchen smells of waffles and syrup and the heavy fragrance of warmed strawberries.  A plate is pulled from the oven and a can of whipped cream from the fridge and Taemin laughs as Jinki draws a smiley face on the stack of waffles.

A single candle is stuck in the middle and lit and he watches the flames burst in little shocks.

“Is that a trick candle?”

“No,” Jinki answers, a little too quickly for Taemin to not be suspicious.  “Now, make a wish.”

A smile blooms on his lips as he stares at the flame, thinking and remembering and hoping.  A wish is made, one he hopes comes true in its own time though he’s a bit eager for it to be sooner rather than later.  The candle blows out and doesn’t relight.  He smiles at Jinki before grabbing the can of whipped cream and spraying it all over his naked chest.  It’s no surprise at all when Jinki grabs a spare from the fridge and he shrieks in delight as he’s chased back down the hall.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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